Chapter 91

"Don't call me 'sir.' Call me 'my lord.'"

"Of course, my lord."

Harry smiled. "That's more like it."

A group of soldiers rushed off to presumably get the Tesseract.

Harry turned back to the scientists. "Do any of you have any explosive-making tips? At the moment, I mainly make nitroglycerin because the fumes smell nice and I accidentally made a few tonnes of nitric acid so decided to buy a few tonnes of sulphuric acid."

The soldiers in the room all seemed to scratch their heads as one whilst all the people in lab coats sought to speak as one.

'I'm not sure I'd be asking for explosive-making advice.'

"The voice in my head is right. Don't tell me about explosives, guys."

Loki sighed.

"I don't exactly have to be subtle. What are they gonna do? Throw the Tesseract at me?"

As if in answer to that, the two soldiers who had gone to get the Tesseract came back, now holding it in its glass case between them. Luckily, they didn't throw it at Harry.

"Thanks," Harry said, grabbing it from them and setting it at his feet. He glanced around. "Since I'm a superhero now, I should probably help all of these mind-controlled people."

'That does sound like something a superhero would do.'

'I'm not sure about that. Batman would probably just punch all of them. The Joker would shoot all of them.'

'I'm not sure that the Joker is a superhero.'

'Why? Because he's a clown, you racist?'

Harry waved the sceptre around vaguely. "Be free, my children," he said.

Nothing seemed to happen.

"Well, I tried. I guess I've now got a private army of sleeper agents." Harry sighed. "Go back to your normal lives, guys. I'll call you when I need you." He picked up the Tesseract. "Now let's go and use the sceptre on Loki—he'll make a great stunt double."

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Harry glanced across the table at Loki-Two. "Hello. You're"—he glanced at his wrist—"twelve seconds late."

"One," Loki-Two said, "you're not wearing a watch. And two, you have said that every single time we have met over the last month and a half."

"And you've told me that I've told you that you're late every single week for the past month and a half."

"And then you've told me that you keep on doing it because it makes you feel like a businessman."

"And then we proceed to continue with the conversation," Harry said. "Well, we hopefully do. Perhaps we should scrap the formula—or perhaps not. My predictability is unpredictable."

Loki-Two nodded. "Your unpredictability is becoming predictable. It may be time for a change. But that is not what I have come to speak to you about," he said. "I want to return to Asgard."

"You do, do you? And I suppose you need me to hold your hand and walk you through the portal?"

"No, believe it or not." Loki-Two smiled. "I do, however, believe that you might want to help me in my endeavour to take the throne."

For a moment, Harry was silent. "What's in it for me?"

"Well, you'll get a rather like-minded person on the throne."

Harry stared at him.

"It will also be rather good revenge on Odin. We can throw him off the Bifrost, if you like."

'We're doing it,' Loki said. 'Well, maybe not the throwing him off the Bifrost bit. We don't want to risk creating a situation similar to us, except with Odin in their head.'


'Maybe that's why Dumbledore is so wise and annoying.'


'No, Odin is obviously Director Fury, one-eyed and a control freak who completely fails when it comes to finding or defeating us.'

Harry grinned. "Let's do it." He stood from his seat.

"Now?"

"Well, we've got to be unpredictable."

"Luckily, I've been planning this."

Harry frowned. "That's no fun."

"Either is failure."

"I wouldn't know; I've never experienced it."

A while later, Harry and Loki-Two stood in a cave upon the side of an Icelandic mountain. A few feet away from them, flush against the wall and giving off a slight glow, was the portal to Asgard. Both of them had come prepared for the occasion, dressed in illusionary clothes which were best suited for the Asgardian peasantry.

Loki-Two eyed Harry. "No sceptre?"

"Nope. It didn't work when I tested it on you, so there's not really much point. I'm pretty sure that the Mind Stone should be more powerful than that, though, and the people under its control shouldn't be put out of its control by being knocked out."

"It's almost as in Thanos didn't trust me, and purposefully limited its power."

"That can't be. Everyone trusts us."

"Yes," Loki-Two said. "Now let's go and violate that trust by betraying and dethroning Odin."

As one, they stepped through the portal and out into another cave. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out two broomsticks, waving his wand over them to bring them to full size.

Loki-Two sneered disdainfully at them.

"Don't be such a prude—it's okay to ride a big, long stick of wood, especially since this is the most expensive one that thievery can buy," Harry said. "We've got to fly a few hundred miles to get to the palace, and I don't know how the wards will react to teleportation."

"Fine."

A few minutes later, they were out of the cave and in flight, cloaked in partial invisibility spells to hide them from the gaze of anyone below. Whilst Harry had originally discovered himself to be naturally skilled at broom-riding, and had only grown in skill, Loki-Two did not have the same affinity.

Thusly, their journey was made quite a bit longer than it needed to be, with Loki-Two managing to go plunging downwards—with his broom or without it—whenever they came across a particularly strong gust of wind.


Eventually, though, they neared the city and began to descend, Loki-Two quite a bit faster than Harry. They managed to land without destroying any buildings or killing any civilians, and began to walk towards the palace, their faces disguised. The city guard was probably still looking for Loki—or any citizens resembling Loki—after all.