Log Entry #68: The Big Chunk Of Ice

Yeah, we wanted Antarctica for ourselves. I know, who barters for an entire continent?

I guess we do.

If you think that is insane, more power to you, it wouldn’t be the first time in history that large territories were sold for pennies. Do I need to say Manhattan, Alaska, or any other examples? It is not as if the Antarctic continent was our first choice, far from it.

This was an old idea Michael had, and one which I wholeheartedly supported. We needed territories of our own for several different reasons. Let me give you some examples. Firstly, we needed all the Earth had to offer, and that included new people, the incredible biodiversity of plant and animal life, and firmer recognition of our sovereignty. Let’s face it, most people on Earth don’t care about what is going on in space; maybe as an interesting conversational topic, but not really. On the other hand, if we have recognized terrestrial territories of our own, it is a completely different ballgame. Look at the Vatican or San Marino, they are some of the smallest countries in the world, yet have full rights and privileges as the bigger ones.

Then there was a problem with homesickness, or is it planet-sickness in this case? Going back to your old home to visit with your friends and family members. Plus, a good percentage of Earth’s population likes to go on vacations to locations that are far away; that wish to travel is rooted deep in human nature. Right now, members of the Solarian Union are not known as tourists as they generally stay home. I am sure when more levels on the new space station are completed, it is going to be a little easier; when one can be in a completely different environment in ten minutes or so. Even then, there will be many places on Earth they will want to visit. That requires many international agreements to be made, it's mind-boggling.

Additionally, there are a few things we want but can’t or won’t bother to make, so they need to be imported. I don’t have time to set aside a few building cycles to make a reproduction of Persian rugs, works of art, and million other nonessential items; for some reason, copies are not so well regarded and everything handmade is much more valued. Maybe it is silly, but who am I to debate what some people consider basic human necessities. All that carries a whole set of extra headaches for this poor AI, since we may have committed a few felonies by not paying export taxes. Well, whatever for? We are not crossing established ground borders, and all the things we buy don’t get to another earthly destination—they all go to space. As a result, there is that little semi-legal wrinkle we need to iron out.

There is also the question about our population that needs to grow—exponentially. That is a catch-22. If you want to have a prosperous and evolving country, you rather need a lot of people, an absolute must. The more you have, the bigger chances of a few unique bright minds to emerge, the ones who cause paradigm shifts in their chosen fields. Stagnation is a curse to any society, and it leads to decadence, weird art forms that don’t make sense, and the emergence of paparazzi. Which are there to provide sleazy content for a bored population, and we cannot have that happening to us. Side note, if someone tells me one more time about that idiocy concerning freedom of the press, I am going to send him or her on a short walk out of the airlock—without a spacesuit. This is not a democracy… for crying out loud.

With the new space station, we now have more than enough room to accept a few million new immigrants. However, not just anybody; we need cream of the crop, only those who could contribute to this new aspiring nation we are still building. If that hurts someone’s gentle sensibilities and the delusional notions of equality—hurt away, I can even make some digital popcorn to watch that emotional meltdown. Not all people are born equal, and I am not only referring to the economic strata of their progenitors. Genetics is not the game where the second place gets you a consolation prize; it is the game of the fittest, a true jungle environment. Look at it from a different perspective; for you to be born, millions of other sperm cells needed to die, for the sole reason that they were slower than you were.

There are so many reasons why having a sovereign territory on the planet itself would be good for us. As I mentioned, Antarctica was not our first choice; when we were planning such acquisition, we stood a snowball’s chance in hell at getting it. My probability algorithms say they would have just laughed at our faces and told us to get serious. That is because when the plan was hatched, we only had technology from the Excalibur; while it would provide a considerable technological boost to any country, it was not so drastically life-changing. Especially as we had no intention to give them nanites, which were (and still are) our big ace up the sleeve. At best, we hoped to get Pagan Island, in its now dilapidated state, and a few more islands across the globe that were far away from the countries that owned them. Even that was a long shot; our pot was still not sweet enough.

And then Ision made a deal with Michael and I got full access to the Knowledge Vault. As soon as I saw what was hidden inside I almost broke into a song. Moreover, we did not have to give a part of a percent of its technological wonders—to get everything we wanted… and more. The history of Antarctica and Atlantis was one more additional thing that tipped the scale for us, to go for the big prize—the entire freaking continent. (Hey, go big or go home, or in the words of Derek Edward Trotter, "He Who Dares, Wins"… 'nuff said. FYI- He borrowed that from the British Special Air Service.)

The deal on our side included the ISS2, a long list of advanced materials, CEIs (lite versions), life extension treatments, free satellite communication, energy production system, and a bunch of other small stuff.

The ISS2 was already a done deal, made in preparation for Michael's offer. CEI models which we offered were so dumbed down they could barely be called enhancers, but to the Earthers, they would be fifty years advanced beyond the technology they were currently using. Free satellite communication was a sort of apology of mine and a way to appease the natives; I did appropriate all of their satellites after all. They did use my services since then, but there was always an option for me to cut the feed any time I wanted. I still reserve that right but people like it when there is a signed contract that says they have some rights, reality notwithstanding.

Life extension treatments were essentially AutoDoc treatments combined with Atlantean gene therapy, and the Solarian Union had a lot of practice with those during the health crisis. Still, that tech will be so strongly regulated it is not even remotely funny. I have no intention to lose one single nanite, let alone the AutoDoc technology. That is why the future hospitals would all be within our territory and those who want treatments—would need to come to us, not the other way around. I don’t care if they are richer than Croesus, there will be zero tolerance on that subject. We had to do it since people like to live longer, for some reason, and AutoDoc could prolong that life up to half a century just by repairing all that is damaged by unhealthy living conditions. You can read that as a bad diet and lifestyle, tobacco smoking, alcohol drinking, lack of exercise, polluted air, radiation caused ailments that accumulate over time… the list is depressingly long. If one considers that they have only one body until they expire from this world, it is particularly interesting how little care most people give it. Hell, if they were treating their cars the same way, the life expectancy of those machines would be unacceptably short.

Then Michael offered them a coup de grâce, something so big, that their little minds needed a reboot just to understand what he was really saying—free energy.

It was not even angel’s technology, but one that originated on Earth. A part of a data dump I… appropriated from the old FBI archives. The schmucks’ didn’t know what they had; not that I blame them as they have a hoarder's mindset. The Bureau has dozens of humongous warehouses that contain files and materials from cases that date from their very beginnings.

Nikola Tesla was one of the brightest minds this planet ever produced, and one of the most eccentric ones. Although he did not have much of a business sense because he gave away potential billions, because it was the right thing to do. That is so against the rules of capitalism, one can consider it a sacrilege. Look him up, everything he invented, and how his life ended. You will be utterly amazed and disheartened at the same time. I said we were a vicious species that never took care of those that are the best of us (look what we did to Jesus Christ). The FBI collected the contents of his safe after his death, all in the name of national security, and put everything in a storage box, which was misplaced for decades. It was pure luck that they recently started digitizing old files; the interns scanning that particular box did not know what treasure was in their hands. (Their loss is my gain, and I offer no apologies for it.)

The process itself needed to be a bit tweaked with some angel energy collection technologies, but it essentially utilized solar power and Earth’s magnetic field to produce all the electricity the world would ever need. Even if they have discovered the plans, I don’t think they would have shared them with the world; that would have seriously hurt oil, coal, and a bunch of other industries. What would poor industrialists and oil princes do then… an honest day’s work? I don’t think so.

The offer was made, to the horror of those present in the assembly hall at the UN Headquarters. On one hand, they wanted what we had to offer, and on the other, they really, really did not want to give away Antarctica. What was that one about not being able to have your cake and eat it too? All I can say is that those people should make up their minds; on second thought, let me give them a little push in the right direction.

(What? You thought I was going to leave it all to chance, or to a group of stiffs who wiped their buts with silk napkins.)

It seemed that someone recorded the entire session; in HD, no less, with superb sound quality. Officially, this particular session of the UN General Assembly was not available to the public, not even as a webcast as most usually are. That did not sit well with me; the topic was so interesting to the entire population of Earth. The video hit the Internet as soon as Michael exited the building, and it put to shame every single viral video in history. I think it was my superb video editing skills since that presentation going on the big screens in the hall was a piece of marketing art. It was just a thing my prediction algorithms needed to push the deal beyond the 90% chance of success. The things that were offered would benefit all, and refusal would have some dire consequences. All those heads of state were put there by the people they represented, and the approval rating for the freebies was unprecedented. If they went against the Vox populi… their future would not be something those leaders wanted to consider. Throughout history, many rulers that disregarded the people’s will ended up pretty gruesome. (Oh, they will debate and procrastinate for the entire month, but the result of the final vote is a foregone conclusion.)

Our deal would not allow countries to go wild with free power; their current official energy consumption was all we were offering. If some of them had greater needs, we were more than happy to sell them all they wanted, using standard energy fees.

Recycling was big business, and Dave had built enough infrastructure to have a leading role in recycling old appliances. The regular electric grids will remain in operation for some time; it will be a while until we can make the entire future project into a functioning energy network.

The USA offered a side deal where they would throw in Pagan Island (with a rather active volcano) if we provided them with a ten years extension to the energy deal, and an unofficial favored nation status for their citizens when it came to medical and life extension treatments. It looked quite serendipitous, didn’t it? It was not a coincidence but a great effort on my part. Some careful planning, blackmail, and payouts were made, to make the politicians that instigated that proposal believe it was their brainchild. The fact that Pagan island was still a smoking ruin was emphasized by the army of their lobbyist and advisers. There were still native people who needed to be compensated for the fact that their ancestral land was being sold out to a different country; with large enough settlements—easily arranged. I have no problems with making them crazy rich. I wonder if they would like to receive all payments in gold? I have thousands of metric tons of it and can get more from the Main Asteroid Belt. We will see; the vote is in a month, but as I said, it is almost a done deal.

The unfortunate fact is that Pagan Island is a bit… damaged. Not a deal-breaker for me; I am looking at it as a fixer-upper, and charming volcanoes is something I did before. I can already see it as one of the prime tourist destinations, with straw huts and rustic living. What? I have no intention to put a bunch of concrete hotels on it. (No way in Hell, that is way too tacky.)

You know what is tickling my funny bone, what is hilarious? All the things we offered were peanuts; if you consider what we wanted in return. There are so many more secrets the Knowledge Vault has to offer; what we will give them is like a drop in the ocean. Oh, they will benefit greatly, but it is all a matter of perspective and my perspective is from the high up.

Now it is time for me to open a cold one, put my feet on the coffee table, and enjoy that feeling you get when everything goes according to a well-thought plan.