Early Access: STORMWEAVER 3 - Chapter 13 [ROUGH]
Added 2024-04-29 15:36:27 +0000 UTCSo this is where I was planning to end the chapter from the start, but now that I've reached it I think it needs more. So, as much of a copout as it is, look forward to a v2 as soon as I figure out where that new ending point is.
Also sorry this one is slow. I AM working on it every day, but as you guys can hopefully imagine this is probably the most delicate emotional interaction of the series so far, and I really REALLY need to get it at least MOSTLY right on the first go, or it will have negative ripples on this relationship moving forward.
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A FEW RULES & REMINDERS:
Chapters will be dropping as Bryce completes them. That means anywhere from every 1 to 2 weeks on average, though sometimes waits may be longer.
Recall that these are rough chapters, with no editing other than a single pass-through as Bryce writes.
On a similar note, we are not asking for advice or corrections at this time. If Bryce wants feedback, we will certainly reach out, thank you! If you want to voice concerns or complaints about the chapter, you may now do so over on the Reddit discussion thread below! Notifications are turned off on those conversations, so they're a free-for-all now (within the rules of the subreddit, obviously)!
THE REDDIT THREAD
Comments
You’ve done a beautifully delicate job of this emotionally charged scene. Bravo. ❤️
ABTelford
2024-07-18 04:04:51 +0000 UTCno posts in almost 2 weeks? I hope everything is ok
Igor Lowenstien
2024-05-12 03:52:15 +0000 UTCOr version 2 of 13?
Jacob Clemens
2024-05-06 18:37:36 +0000 UTCAre we getting 14 today or later in the week? No rush!
Jacob Clemens
2024-05-06 18:36:58 +0000 UTCwow that was... I just.... yep. cant wait!
Jordan Clark
2024-05-03 07:28:24 +0000 UTCBrilliant approach, thank you
Linda Thompson
2024-05-03 06:03:11 +0000 UTCDamn Bryce! I’ve been waiting forever for that chapter and you go and make me blubber like a big ol’ baby. It was awesome! One thing though- the tone of Rei’s angry diatribe at the beginning didn’t seem quite right. I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of days and the best explanation I can give is that it seemed too “getto” for him (don’t PC me for that, it was the only word I could come with that fit).
Dr. Chaos
2024-05-03 00:29:32 +0000 UTCThere is something to be said about family connections. Viv is as close as Rei has but now he can build a deep connection with his family. I feel that his sister coming and based on the book a pretty awesome grand father (cad user) will give Rai the extra push he needs. I fully expect that they both will now be spending lots of time on and off the field with him. I hope his sister as well makes it in the next few chapter it would be pretty cool if she ends up meeting Rie in a practice match, kicks Rie butt and then after oh by the way I am you big sister. As well with the next big match’s commingled to have his family there supporting him!
Ryan Anderton
2024-05-02 14:08:08 +0000 UTChmmm - so assumptions there? Or did I miss something. I'm not sure we know that she is coming to Galens (a reasonable assumption) or that Jasper arranged it (although I can see where you got that one), And, I'm not sure we know yet if she will be pro Rei, or anti Rei.
Scott
2024-05-02 00:52:59 +0000 UTCGood to see Reidon’s grandfather own up…….no doubt we’re about to hear an all too tragic story on how his own father abandoned him……..
Lorenz
2024-05-01 04:26:06 +0000 UTCI want to see him learn he has a sister who is a user. I don't know if the Doctor knows that Jasper has arranged for her to go to Galens.
Thomas Corbin
2024-04-30 18:13:09 +0000 UTCI loved this chapter! I have also enjoyed both books! Thank you so much for a great read!
Bryan Swanson
2024-04-30 18:09:41 +0000 UTCI want to cry i want to see him gain family so bad reidon deserves a kindly and fretful grandfather
Kristen Pierson
2024-04-30 14:47:48 +0000 UTCThis is hard to get just right. The pain is there for sure so is the anger on both sides. I’m sensing the battle between guilt, fury, and Hirito’s need to get past it all. Right now it’s just a little murky. Thanks for the chapter!
Xien
2024-04-30 13:04:52 +0000 UTCAaaah finally!!! I’ve been waiting for this since they were introduced. Let’s hear what the deal is and finally meet Rei’s sister 😄
Eilis
2024-04-30 07:16:35 +0000 UTCYou're killing it Bryce!
Amanda Jones
2024-04-30 03:48:40 +0000 UTCUgh. Your freaking emotional cliffhangers get me everytime. Argggh.
David Collins
2024-04-30 01:05:59 +0000 UTCI feel like instead of extending this chapter, maybe put it at the end of chapter 12. While this was concise, the ending was such a perfect place to end a chapter that I would not want to loose that in the name of padding out this chapter. Obviously it's your boat, your decisions have been great for 2 books so far so can not wait to hear the entirety of the explaination.
J Nyteshayd
2024-04-30 00:34:45 +0000 UTCSince the end of the first book this chapter and the next couple are what I've been looking forward too.
Joel Wilkinson
2024-04-30 00:28:04 +0000 UTCDamnit man, I want more! Good chapter, can’t wait for the next one.
Shaolas
2024-04-29 22:02:14 +0000 UTCI like how you are handling Hiroto's character. It feels genuine. I had been waiting for the Japanese bow in apology. It was everything I hoped it would be. Personally, I think writing these sort of chapters 'imperfectly' are just right, as none of us handle these situations or react to these situations perfectly. For people with Hiroto's experience & power, it only shows up in the small things. Nice chapter.
Richard Jackway
2024-04-29 21:45:38 +0000 UTCI think he needs to explain that he has long ago tried to find Reidon, but only found possible evidence of his existence when he saw the footage of Reidon during his fight with Logan. Even then he took the time to prove Reidon was his Grandson. Possibly with fight commentary?
Decorus
2024-04-29 21:39:53 +0000 UTCYea, feels a bit too strong. He should have guessed that if hes related, based on age he could be his son or grandson.
Hellasz123
2024-04-29 21:03:19 +0000 UTCI can see why you would want to go further before ending the chapter. This is already a powerful chapter, but I do think it could be even more powerful based on your other writing. I look forward to seeing how you do that.
Janet Beane
2024-04-29 20:45:45 +0000 UTCDefinitely should combine 13 and 15 together this was way too short I think for all the build up. And maybe tone back his shock at seeing he’s his grandfather as he’d already guessed and processed most of the situation
Ben Heggem
2024-04-29 20:07:31 +0000 UTCHaving been married into a Japanese family for 25 years now, I feel that this conversation feels very true to my experiences living in and around Japanese families. Although, I feel that Hiroto would have led with an apology of sorts before asking what it would take to make it right. The apology at the end of the conversation is very realistic to experiences that I have had and had to make. My conversation when I met my father for the first time was similar, but not a tense. I had been adopted by a great family and already knew a lot of what happened; I just hadn't heard it from him. He also took responsibility for things that happened that weren't totaly his fault. When I found out that I had a sister, I really wanted to get to know her. I imagine Rei will have a similar interest in the fact that he has a sister, who only just found out about him. I could see that relationship being the one that brings Rei closer to his grandfather. I don't know what direction the book will take in regards to the overall family issues, but I find them interesting. I can't wait to read the rest of the chapter. It is going as well as I had hoped and I think it feels very natural/ realistic.
chris kizziah
2024-04-29 20:01:08 +0000 UTCI might be able to gift a membership, depending upon how much it is and if there’s a way to do it.
Kory Leach
2024-04-29 19:50:35 +0000 UTCWhat’s here is great. I do agree that it’s missing something… it’s certainly not depth or heart. Maybe it’s just too concise and just needs what was going to be chapter 14 to fill it out. Either way it’s good material!
Kory Leach
2024-04-29 19:29:04 +0000 UTCI can legitimately say I am pissed that I do not have the money to pay for next month's membership simply due to the fact that I'm going to miss the next chapter. This is bullshit and I hate it.
Chioke Nelson
2024-04-29 19:15:46 +0000 UTCHoly cow! Definitely leaves me wanting more, definitely leaves me wanting to hear the story. And I did love how Rei shifted back and forth from his snark and sarcastic wit to completely stunned. Great chapter and cant wait to see what comes next!
Christopher Generazio
2024-04-29 18:45:44 +0000 UTCYou're the king of cliffhangers, man. Stop killing us!
Freedcats
2024-04-29 18:20:35 +0000 UTCDamn, I knew this was gonna hit hard and the backstory will probably even more. I’m ready for all the feelings though. One thing I would really love to see in the next chapter is Hiroto telling Rei how proud he is of him. Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Linn G
2024-04-29 18:02:01 +0000 UTCGreat chapter - and great build up. The emotion is solidly there. If I may suggest, the Japanese culture of honour should be checked on this one. It’s clear from this chapter and the other related ones that Dr. Kamiya follows the old code. Maybe lean into that a bit more. Along with the clear emotional angle it would allow a greater understanding and hinge point for Rei and Dr. Kamiya.
Stephen Jackson
2024-04-29 17:56:03 +0000 UTCEven if this is just a 'v1 draft' to you, this was 10000% worth the wait for me. This is cinema. The emotional details in the beginning of calling him 'my son' and refusing to say 'your father'. Not to drag out the suprise, but because he actually means it in his belief system.
Ghostbane
2024-04-29 17:37:41 +0000 UTCThis is hard stuff to write and get right. Don't stress about it coming slow. FWIW, I think what you've got rings pretty true to both characters. Let's see what happens next :-).
Ray Chen
2024-04-29 17:36:29 +0000 UTCDefinitely some feels and allergies. Good work, so far… It feels like a good chapter end, but I think feel what you mean in your blurb.
Jeff McClure
2024-04-29 16:46:28 +0000 UTCThat is a great start! Can’t wait to get to the point that Rei realizes emotionaly he has been found and his family is with him. And I want to see them both on the field training together and sis to be there.
Ryan Anderton
2024-04-29 16:32:03 +0000 UTCI knew what was coming but well done. Super feels.
gratch42
2024-04-29 16:28:09 +0000 UTCThat is soo awesome. It looks like you are doing a little at a time.. it brought tears to my eyes with emotion. Great job!!
Heather Herren
2024-04-29 16:23:49 +0000 UTCNice! I was hoping Hiroto would let him know that he was his grandfather. That he wasn't proud of what his son, Rei's father did to him. Can't wait to see the rest, chapter 13 is going to be my favorite number from now on.
Al Parks
2024-04-29 16:23:36 +0000 UTCWow, sooo powerful. I really felt all that, both Kamiya and Rei. I’m glad Kamiya waited to tell Rei he’s his grandfather like he did, made it feel more real and less… Hollywood I guess. Does feel a little short, like it’s missing a chunk. Looking forward to the next bit!
Iron Akela
2024-04-29 16:14:08 +0000 UTCI’m dyyyiiinngg. But this was amazing!
Tox
2024-04-29 16:11:54 +0000 UTCThis hits as hard as a Mauler already...
Zac
2024-04-29 16:11:14 +0000 UTCYo, this is gearing up for an even more heart wrenching backstory and I am ALL FOR IT
Dorian Grey
2024-04-29 16:10:28 +0000 UTCThere’s the anger I was looking for.
Brian Cody
2024-04-29 15:56:33 +0000 UTCWhile I know you're writing a second version, this is still so beautifully written. I love how you introduced the fact that he was the grandfather later on because he probably wouldn't realize that Rei wouldn't know he wasn't his father
Lyssa
2024-04-29 15:52:08 +0000 UTCWas good. It does seem really short for a chapter though, so I agree with adding more to it.
Aaron
2024-04-29 15:50:23 +0000 UTCLets fuckin go i was dying for this
momonga
2024-04-29 15:49:56 +0000 UTCThis chapter. It’s already amazing and stirring emotions and it’s only eight pages. I cannot wait for the rest. Honestly great job
Armando
2024-04-29 15:46:15 +0000 UTCthe new ending point is an anime cut out where we see each of Rei's, Hiroto's, and Sarah's eyes take a third of the screen as they say "I'll kill him" in unison
kirbydabear
2024-04-29 15:45:38 +0000 UTCHypeeee
Wolfgirl-Sylphie
2024-04-29 15:42:24 +0000 UTCBeautiful surprise
Sam Mason
2024-04-29 15:38:09 +0000 UTC
