The Wheels On The Bus Chapter 23

With Jack taking a detour to check up on Belphegor, it’s Adam who has to bring Amara to their temporary dorm. She’s nice enough to wait while he gets everyone else, who’re probably also too tired in the morning to deal with any bombshells, but they’ve been antsy about getting any news for days anyway. They can deal with this. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all that. 

He wonders if this has got something to do with the Winchesters asking for the Shedim to look for the Darkness. They certainly got their results fast. It probably would have taken weeks at best, had it just been Adam and the others who tried it. 

“Sam?” Adam knocks on the open door of the research room. A few hunters look up at him, sparse in their numbers as some are likely still getting breakfast.

Sam’s not at his desk. 

“He hasn’t come in yet,” someone says.

“Thanks. Sorry,” Adam says, and ducks out the doorway to continue down the hall. He’s either in the kitchen or his dorm, but since the latter is closer, he makes his way to it, knocking on the door. 

“Sam?” he asks, and then tries the handle. It’s unlocked. When he swings the door open, the room is empty, the mattresses folded and propped up to the side, pillows and blankets carefully set beside it. 

Kitchen then. 

He swears a small line of curses under breath, hands shaking in nervousness. His stomach feels hollow, all of a sudden, and his entire body feels like it wants to spasm with pent up energy. 

The Darkness is here. Things are actually going right. 

“Sam?” he pushes the door to the kitchen open, forgetting his manners for just a second, before he mutters, “Ah, sorry - is Sam here?”

As he looks around, he sees that Sam isn’t, but Dean is.

“He’s up front. What do you need?” Dean, who’s commandeering the coffee machine and chewing around a bacon and cheese sandwich, motions behind him, where the cafeteria would be. Typical Sam, falling in line with everyone else instead of just getting his breakfast here like he’s supposed to, since he’s technically Anti-Apocalypse Effort staff.

“We found Amara.”

Dean promptly chokes on his bacon and cheese sandwich. 

He grabs for the coffee, realizes it’s still too hot to drink, and settles for beating his fist on his chest once, hard. 

Apparently it works. “You what?”

“We found Amara.” Adam says, motioning to the direction he just came from like that helps. “W-we - Jack and I went for a walk and - well, she was the one who found us, really, but I think the Shedim found her and told her we wanted to talk and - “

Dean stares at him in disbelief for a moment, before he lets the information sink in and he nods. “Okay, uh - ”

“Wait, what did I hear?” Sam calls from up front. “Dean?”

“Just get in here, idiot,” Dean calls back. “We found Amara.”

“What?”

“We found - get in here!”

There’s a few seconds of noises from the cafeteria, Dean rolling his eyes and picking up his coffee mug and blowing on it, before Adam hears Sam’s heavy footsteps thudding down the hall behind him. 

He turns. His brother’s got his tray of food in the midst of that. Good on him.

“What happened?” Sam asks. Adam steps into the room so Sam can take his place in the doorway.

“They found Amara,” Dean says. “It worked.”

Sam lets out a laugh - that breathy nervous laugh he does, with his lips quirking up for just a moment before he finally settles on a smile, relieved and excited, but a hint of wariness still in his eyes. “It worked?”

“She’s waiting in our room,” Adam says.

“Okay,” Sam says, clearly nervous. Something’s going right - in the apocalypse against all apocalypses, something is going right. “Okay. I’ll get Rowena, you get Cas - where’s Jack?”

“Checking up on Bel, but I already told him to meet me in our room after.”

“Okay, good - five minutes - Dean, finish your sandwiches or bring them with you.” Sam slips out into the hallway, shoes squeaking with how fast he moves as he runs off to find Rowena. 

Adam turns back to Dean, who’s looking at his plate piled up with several sandwiches. He looks down at them with a thoughtful expression. 

“Dean?”

“You think Amara’s ever had bacon and cheese sandwiches?”

-

It turns out Amara has had bacon and cheese sandwiches before (although it should have been expected since she’s been on Earth for a few years now), but she still takes the food when it’s offered to her, half as a courtesy and the other half as a preemptive bribe. Adam looks at her for a moment, wondering if she’s got critique for Dean’s sandwich making skills, considering she’s The Darkness, Chuck’s sister, the other half of the universe and all that, but she says nothing, keeping a polite, bright smile on her face as she eats.

She looks around at all of them as they sit in a circle on the mattresses covering the floor.

“The team has grown,” she says. 

“Yeah, uh.” Sam does that nervous twitchy smile thing he does again. He motions to Rowena. “Formal introductions. This is uh, Rowena.”

Rowena raises a hand and wiggles her fingers in greeting, offering a, “Hello, I’m their resident witch, because someone has to get things done around here.”

Adam laughs under his breath.

“You’ve met Cas,” Sam says, and Cas inclines his head down, looking awkwardly at the floor. Amara simply nods back.

Sam motions to Jack. “This is Jack.”

“Hi,” Jack says, raising a hand in his customary greeting. “I’m Castiel’s son.”

Amara raises her eyebrows, looking from him to Cas. “How old are you?”

“Three,” he says, smiling brightly.

“Ah,” Amara says. “I see.”

“He’s just turned three, actually,” Adam says. “A few weeks ago.”

“Oh, when?”

“May 18th.”

“Oh. Happy birthday, grandnephew.”

“Thank you,” Jack says, clearly happy with his grand aunt’s receptivity. 

Sam clears his throat awkwardly and motions to Adam. “This is Adam.”

“Hello,” Adam says. “You knew that, though.”

“The way angels know people with a single glimpse of their souls, yes,” Amara says. “But first impressions are almost always wrong and all that.” She waves a hand, flicking the bread crumbs on her fingers away. They go up in black smoke and never land anywhere. “I believe there’s still a lot for us to catch up on.”

“Your brother’s trying to end the world,” Dean says.

“So I’ve noticed,” Amara says, a twitch on her ever-present smile betraying her irritation, which is thankfully not at Dean. What is up with celestial entities and always smiling, anyway? Does the Empty do that too? Adam makes a note to ask Jack.

“Did you have any say in it?”

“No,” Amara says, simply. “We don’t...talk much these days.”

“What?” Sam asks, an edge of nervousness in his tone. “Didn’t you - “

“Make up? Yes, we did,” Amara says, and then pauses, frowning down at her empty plate. “But lately, his habit for pretentiousness has been a little grating.”

“Ah, siblinghood,” Rowena says, understanding. “It happens.”

“Unfortunately,” Amara says. “He can be a little self-righteous.”

“A little?” Adam mutters, under his breath, but Amara catches it anyway, laughing.

“He can be plenty self-righteous,” she says. “If something doesn’t go his way, he tends to have temper tantrums. Not always, so it’s not a predictable pattern, but that just makes it even irritating, when you can’t guess when he’s going to blow up and at what.”

“Ah,” Adam says, recalling a few names from his days in high school and college, since he can’t really remember the faces anymore even if he tried. “Yeah, I’ve met people like that.”

Even Sam winces, although he says nothing. 

“What kind of friends are you all making?” Dean asks. 

“It’s not like we know off the bat they’re assholes, and you would know how it goes if you had a social life, Dean,” Sam says. 

Castiel puts his hand to his face, breathing in deeply.

“But back to the topic,” Rowena says, “How long has it been since you’ve both talked?”

“A few weeks ago,” Amara says. “He killed my masseuse. I was on vacation.”

“You go on vacations?”

“I’ve been on vacation since we made up, technically,” Amara says. “Although I have been taking a few classes here and there. You know - cooking, sewing, art, yoga. The usual. I was thinking about dance classes before he went ahead and did this.”

“Wow,” Jack says, genuinely intrigued. 

Amara laughs lightly. “This world is fascinating,” she says. “And it’s quite nice to see things that my brother hasn’t created. The new perspectives are refreshing. I’ve been on a bit of a kick on listening to new points of view and listening to them, lately.”

Adam thinks back to his and Jack’s conversation earlier. If he could just exist in the world simply because he exists, what would he do?

“Free will is a wonderful thing,” Castiel offers.

“It really is,” Amara says. She pauses. “You know you all don’t have to skirt around the situation, yes?”

There’s a collective sigh around the room, everyone’s postures easing slightly, but not all out of relief. Some of them are just tired, exhausted with having to deal with the apocalypse yet again.

“What do you know about what’s going on?” Dean asks, finally, after several minutes of silence.

“That one day I was minding my own business,” Amara says, “And then I felt a powerful surge of Grace, and then suddenly it’s like I’m standing on an unstable bridge.”

“You can feel the instability?” Adam asks.

“Yes. You know about it?”

“We’ve talked about it. Michael knew a lot about it,” Adam says.

Amara raises an eyebrow. “Michael?” She turns to Dean. “The first born son Michael? Prince of the Heavenly Hosts Michael?”

“He’s on our side,” Dean says. “He’s not going to...do anything.”

“Not that he could, but it’s just surprising,” Amara says. “He’s not the type to go against his Father.”

“Yeah, well, we all had to get some character development at some point,” Adam says. “Because he literally just put himself in danger so we could all be here.”

“Chuck’s after him,” Jack says. “We think he wants to get him on his side. Michael’s on the run, we don’t know where he is right now.”

“I see,” Amara says. “And how did this come to be?”

Jack points to Adam. 

“During Apocalypse Original Flavor, I became his vessel. We got trapped in the Cage with Lucifer for the sake of stopping said apocalypse.”

“And I saw Lucifer a few years ago, so…”

“Yeah, he got out, we didn’t,” Adam says. “Had a few years to bond down there. We crawled out when Chuck popped Hell a new one.”

“That explains it,” Amara says. “And the ghosts.”

“It was an organized attack from the Shedim,” Castiel says. “But Belphegor got it under control.”

“Belphegor’s another one of us,” Adam says, as explanation. “He’s got the entirety of Hell under control, but he’s passed out right now. It takes a lot out of him.”

“He’s the one who sent those demons to look for me, then?” Amara asks.

“Yeah,” Adam says. “He’s in the infirmary.”

Amara nods, letting the whole conversation sink in. “I did hear you, Dean,” she says, eventually, “But I wanted to see what was going on myself before I answered. And then you sent your demons, and I figured it was getting urgent.” 

“Can you help us?” Dean asks. “You like your vacations and your classes, don’t you?”

Amara gives him a look. To his credit, he doesn’t flinch, instead matching her stare. 

There is a thick, awkward pause. 

Finally, she says, “I have no experience with creating something on this big of a scale.” She looks down at her plate again, deep in thought. “You may think that things like these, for us, is as easy as breathing, but it’s not. Chuck created worlds upon worlds upon worlds that failed over and over before he managed to finally create this, and every other variation of it. I cannot be your immediate solution to this universe’s instability, so I need you to understand that.”

Dean looks like he’s about to open his mouth in protest, but Sam puts a hand on his shoulder. He stops.

“This is why my brother is scared of you,” Amara says, turning to Jack. “I could tell, when he came to meet me before our last, unfortunate encounter. Something had spooked him, and he said something about a nephilim.”

“I know I messed up with the lying thing…” Jack starts, but Amara shakes her head.

“It’s not that, Jack,” Amara says. “I am not as well-versed with my brother on the rules of his universe, but I have been in it long enough to notice things. You were born of this universe, and you belong here; you possess a human soul, which is strong enough to let an angel recover their Grace, and you also possess Grace, a fundamental part in keeping the universe standing. If the universe was a puzzle, you are a piece that fits perfectly in it, with so much power to spare that you can use with ease. You were made for it, after all.”

Jack looks down at his hands, thoughtful.

“Grace is a fundamental part of the universe,” Amara says. “It’s like atoms. It makes up a good chunk of what makes this whole thing run, and it’s why angels look like stars and stars look like angels. So if you have access to it, are able to pull at it just so…”

“You can shape the universe however you want,” Castiel says. “Or a part of it.”

Amara nods. “That’s why you can fly distances impossible physically, why you can conjure up things out of thin air. It’s not thin air, it’s just Grace, all around you, and you have the natural ability to use it, as this universe dictates, and so you are able to.”

“Laws of the universe,” Adam whispers, turning to Jack.

“However,” Amara says. “I do not belong in this universe. I exist outside of it. I can exist in it, sure, but it doesn’t mean I was made for it. I don’t belong in it, even if I can interact with it. I can do a few things here and there, sure, but ultimately, I don’t know how to fix the tears in it.”

“But someone with Grace can,” Sam says. “Especially someone with archangel Grace.”

Castiel glances at his son, who’s still looking down at himself. 

It’s up to him, now. 

“What I can do is try to stop my brother from creating more damage,” Amara says. “I want to make this clear, before you put your hope in something nonexistent.”

“Thanks,” Dean says.

“It’s just decency, isn’t it?” she asks, cracking a smile. 

“So Jack fixes the rifts,” Rowena says. “And you stop your brother from kicking open any more holes.”

“I can try to,” Amara says.

“Can you kill him?”

Amara freezes.

“Amara…” Dean says. 

Amara doesn’t answer, instead just staring at all of them, before she looks away. When she speaks, she sounds hesitant. “That would be a little more difficult,” she starts, but before anyone can say anything, she continues, “Do you remember what I said about Grace?”

“It’s a fundamental part of the universe,” Dean says.

“Grace is what constitutes my brother,” Amara says. “The universe’s Grace, the angels’ - even Jack’s - all of it came from him.”

“That’s what makes him able to just do what he wants here,” Sam says.

“Correct,” Amara says. “It’s written into the universe’s code - it’s DNA, if you will - how Grace exists and stems from him and how all that have the right to use it can manipulate it however they want. But you need to understand - “ She pauses again. “It stems from him. It...the reason Grace even exists in this universe is because he wrote his being into it. He wrote himself into this universe. To say Grace is a fundamental part of the universe is to say - “

“That so is he,” Dean says. “You can’t kill him.”

“Not without killing the rest of existence,” Amara says. “Did you forget? When I tried to kill him, the sun nearly went out.”

“Can’t we get Grace elsewhere?” Jack asks.

Amara shakes her head. “In the beginning, there was me and him. All that you have right now is because of him, and there is no beyond us and that you can just take Grace from.”

“Do you have Grace?” Adam asks.

“I have Emptiness,” Amara says. “I have Void. Where he is creation, I am destruction. Where he is something, I am nothing. Where he is abundance, I am void. The Darkness and The Light.”

“Fuck,” Adam says, lifting his hands up to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. Right. Right, right, right, right. Great. 

“The Cage,” Jack says. “We can lock him away.”

Adam looks up. 

“We can lock him away,” Jack repeats. “We already know how to fix everything else. We can resurrect the angels for Heaven, Belphegor can return Hell to where it came from, and I can fix the rifts.”

“That might work,” Castiel says. He turns to Amara. “He locked you away once, after all.”

“And the Empty still exists,” Jack says. “It’s the last remnant of you in this universe, it said so.”

“He didn’t write it out?” Amara murmurs, mostly to herself. Adam notices it even as Jack continues on.

“So even if we lock Chuck away, we’ll still be able to exist,” Jack says. 

“That really might work,” Sam says, sharing a look with Rowena, disbelieving but excited. “If the Cage isn’t strong enough, then we can use the same thing Chuck locked Amara away with. Amara, do you - “

“I remember,” she says. “The Mark will require a living lock, but yes, I remember.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Rowena says. “Let’s draw up some plans - “

“Wait,” Dean says, standing suddenly. “Everybody out for a second.”

“Dean?” Sam asks.

“Give us a moment,” Dean says, looking down at Amara. She gives him a confused look, tilting her head in a way that reminds Adam of Castiel. They really were related, huh.

“You have networks to run,” Dean says, glancing at his brother and Rowena. “And you still need to check up on Bel, Jack.”

Adam looks at Dean curiously, as does everyone else, but since he doesn’t seem to be backing down, they all nod, slowly, and get up from their seats. 

“We’ll talk again at dinner,” Dean says. “Meet back here, at six.”

“Okay,” Sam says. “You sure?” He glances down at Amara, who remains seated, confused frown now more pronounced as she watches everyone head for the door.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dean says.

Adam hears the door open, and hears everyone file out. Jack mutters a small, “I hope Bel’s okay,” as he leaves, immediately starting to jog once he’s out in the hallway. Rowena herself sighs as she wonders out loud how her network is faring without her, and Sam laughs before he goes the opposite direction for his own network’s office. 

In the room, Dean sits back down, right across Amara, who’s staring at him with wary, undivided attention. 

Adam steps out, and closes the door behind him. 

He sits down.