WRITING CHARACTERS: What I've Learned

Now, let's preface this with saying I am not a professional writer. I want to be, and I'm constantly working so my output could be accepted as one, but I'm not there yet. That said, I try my best to research and learn as much as possible.

So let's talk about what I've learned about writing characters in my recent ventures.

In A Lullaby For Gods, one of the most constant feedback that I'm very thankful for is that Eridan's character development was handled well, and that the scene (spoilers!)  where he and Kanaya were talking and he opens up to her, was very raw and captured what it's like to bare what you actually feel to someone, especially about things you've never talked before. 

ERIDAN'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - OR, HOW TO 'REDEEM' AN ASSHOLE CHARACTER

The way Eridan's character was 'redeemed' - and notice the quotes - was approached from the point of view of someone who knows what it's like to be an asshole and try to pick your life up, change your ways, and reform. Which...I guess is a mood, because everyone's been an asshole at some point in their lives. To quote a friend, we were all assholes in high school.

So my thought process in writing Eridan's arc was, as most stories are, a way of self-exploration. I had to take apart my experience in trying to be less of an asshole. Have you ever done anything wrong, or had a period in your life you regret, and then tried your best to move past that, and improve from that? That's your redeeming arc. Or, at least, a period in your life where you tried to overcome something. 

One thing to note about stories of personal change, though, is that an important factor of it is: What is the catalyst?

For some people, and some characters, it's because they were called out or lectured by someone whose opinion they care about; for others it could be because they have seen the effects of their actions and are horrified by it, and the guilt is driving them to change; for a few, it's because they took the time to look at themselves and they don't like what they see, so they decide it's about time they took responsibility and tried to take that one step to change.

For Eridan, it's been a mix. He's had time alone, and time alone is good time for people to think about things, especially because being alone means being stuck in your own head, one way or another, and with the amount of time Eridan has been alone on the island, even with all the things he can do, there's still going to be periods where he's going to think and overthink.

And one other thing to note about Eridan is that he's an asshole, but his negative qualities are not all he has. Not to say he's not an asshole in canon, but like everyone, he's a mix of qualities. His negative ones were just more prevalent, so he's an asshole. He does, however, have other qualities - like, for example, he gets along with Karkat at certain points; he's a history buff; he wants connection - he's bad at it, and he's bad at trying to get it, but that doesn't negate the fact that there are multiple instances of Eridan actually wanting connection. 

So we have these qualities: his desire for connection, time on his hands, and him being an ass. 

And then we have the outside factors: his companions on the island.

These are new people. Eridan has never met them before, at least not on a personal level, and have you ever met someone new and bonded with them separately from your friend group, and you've acted different with them, but in a positive way? Like, because this is someone who is outside your friend group and all the drama you may associated with it, you feel safer with this friend, or share more with them, because your brain doesn't associate them with other stuff?

That was what I was trying for, for Eridan. Someone who was given a completely new slate, who's had so much time to think, and someone who wants connection. He wants connection, he's got new people he doesn't have any opinion about yet,  and these people are patient with him, Roxy especially, who has had practice of being patient with her friend group, and he's had time to think that maybe, just maybe, what he's done wasn't right. 

And we see this thought process be brought out in the open in the scene with him and Kanaya. And we see him admit it, because he's been broken down by his own guilt, because since he's been in a not very good mental place and was trying to rebuild his identity, having this sudden problem that could shatter the already-shaky life he's built for himself was not a good weight on his psyche. 

Before we move on to me talking about how this condition of his psyche helps development, let's talk about the outside factors interacting with Eridan's personality, and his mental state at that time.

He's questioning himself. He's seeing that maybe he didn't connect with anyone, not because everyone didn't appreciate him, but because he did something wrong, and he approached things wrong. He's on the edge of guilt and realization. He's met Anshu, who has been patient with him and is his first venture at responsibility, along with the entire reef. He's learning to be responsible, and since he's on the learning curve, his mental state may let him be ready to learn other things to be responsible for as well. 

Enter the other island crew members. Patient Roxy. Neutral Davesprite. Sassy Hal. Patient Roxy who's had to deal with more and has held out longer for things more challenging than a privileged highblood. Neutral Davesprite who doesn't give a shit about his blood color, and thus doesn't feed more into his ego. Sassy Hal who challenges whatever is left with his ego, because he doesn't care. 

Roxy was his first venture at friendship for this period in his life, as he's saved her, and if you've ever saved anything, perhaps a kitten or a puppy, you may know the feeling of instantaneous pack bonding, and you know that a person may feel responsible for those they have saved. Eridan here is freshly learning responsibility, and he's protecting the reef, which he's saved, and enter Roxy, in this mindset, this subconscious desire to protect helps him adjust and allow her to approach him and offer an olive branch. 

Davesprite and Hal came with Roxy, as they were friends, and Davesprite and Hal both are not afraid or even acknowledge Eridan's status as a highblood, which puts them, on an interaction scale, on even footing. Neither character has been conditioned to react to Eridan in any respectful or fearful way due to their society, and it will show in body language and interaction, even subconsciously, and the mind is a very alert thing that picks things up despite us not being fully aware of it, so even Eridan would notice that these people are not scare of him, even if he can't quite put his finger on why they don't. Because they're on even footing, of course, they're not going to suck up to Eridan, and Eridan has nothing to wave in their face that he knows will intimidate them, thus hammering humility down on him.

All this conditions him to be ripe for heel, face, turn, personality-wise.

Now, let's move on to how a character's mental state helps with development. 

If a character's mental state becomes vulnerable, depending on the circumstances, a character can sometimes close off and build walls, or sometimes be vulnerable and be prime for development. 

In this case, the catalyst for this was him nearly hurting Roxy. The catalyst for this was his doing. This was, he was well aware, his fault. 

Now, again, Eridan in this story has been trying to rebuild, and then he himself nearly destroys all of this, again. As it is his fault, there is nothing to close off. There is no one to run away from, especially not in the setting of New York, where he knows there is danger outside. He can try to go about this negatively, of course, and place the blame on everyone else, but as his attachment to his friends has won out, he's putting the blame where it rightfully belongs, on himself. 

So since he knows and acknowledges it is his fault, this means that this is actually good for his personal development, because he's halfway through being a decent human being, since he's accepting he did something wrong. This shows he's learned to be humble, this shows he's learned to own up to his mistakes and be guilty about it. 

What he was missing was asking for forgiveness.

And he's asked forgiveness from Kanaya - in his own roundabout way, but he's still yet to apologize to everyone. And after asking for forgiveness, make sure to never do it again, because real accountability can be seen in actions. 

Now that we've rambled on and on about this, let's go back to the title of this section. How do you 'redeem' an asshole character, or at least, 'redeem' Lullaby!Eridan Ampora?

Firstly, let the character be the catalyst of their own change. 

Eridan had the time to introspect. Eridan was the one who let himself rebuild. Eridan was the one who did a very huge fuck-up and got guilty about it. This change was not because people were nice to him or because of the mercy of someone else. If you read ALFG, Eridan doesn't change because of what his friends do. He changes because he himself sees it in himself that it's about time he does.

Secondly, the circumstances should allow for this change. 

In ALFG, Eridan was put into a place where he had to think to fill the silence. And then he was thrust into trauma-reawakening and stressful situations which breaks down whatever was left of his old personality. 

Thirdly, it's never any harm to look into how people think! People function differently, however, the more realistic and the more you can look into how human psychology works, the more you can see how a character may or may not think, although some times this depends on how self-aware a character can be.

Fourthly, just let them be human. Let them have qualities that are negative and positive, depending on the circumstances. Everyone has those. Even the nicest person has something that might be a negative quality. What makes a person nice or awful just depends on which qualities they allow to surface. Let these qualities interact, conflict with each other, let these qualities surface subconsciously if it makes sense for the narrative integrity. 

Fifthly, never be afraid to let a character who is still learning to be a good person be an asshole. Changing and getting rid of a bad part of yourself is going to take time. Emotional muscle memory is still going to be there for a while, and the character is going to struggle with being nice and not just acting on kneejerk reactions of lashing out. This is why they'll need friends. Or be very self-aware. Or just have to constantly mess up and be stricter, and ask for people to call them out if they're acting out of line. Write your characters not as characters, but as actual people - at least, set your mindset on that.