Chapter 6: The Ever-Positive Angel Is in Charge of the Magical Girl's Mental Care

Magical Girl Black (Alone)

As always, after vomiting in a back alley, I returned home to wash off the monster’s blood that covered my body.

“…I’m home.”

The unfamiliar sight of a clean house caught me off guard, and I found myself muttering a greeting out of habit.

But no matter how long I waited, there was no reply.

‘What were you expecting? You idiot…’

I don’t know if I should call it obvious, but the angel was gone.

I’d said she could only stay for one night, so it’s only natural she wasn’t here anymore.

I smiled bitterly and was about to step inside—

When I noticed the blood still staining my body.

If I went inside like this, the whole place would be splattered in blood, wouldn't it…?

No, that's too much of an exaggeration.

But still, wherever I walked, whatever I touched, I’d leave bloody traces behind.

Just thinking about that made it hard to step through the doorway.

If I walked around in this state, I’d mess up the house she’d cleaned so carefully.

And that thought alone made me hesitate for a long time, even though I was already home.

But the stench of blood clinging to my entire body kept pushing at me.

You’re really not going to go in?

You’re just going to stand here like this?

Aren’t you going to wash it off?

“…”

Right. There’s no helping it.

I can’t walk around like this forever.

It couldn’t be helped.

I’d just clean it up again later. That’s all.

Trying to convince myself, I stepped into the house.

Bright red footprints followed the path I walked, but I stubbornly ignored them and headed straight to the bathroom.

I turned on the water and just stood there, dazed, letting it pour over me.

The sticky blood trickled down my skin, dyeing the tub a deep red.

“…Ugh.”

A wave of nausea hit me, and I dry heaved—but only for a moment.

I squeezed my eyes shut and, like always, washed the blood from my body.

“Ugh… it stings…”

It stung. It hurt.

I’d done this a hundred times before, but for some reason, today it hurt more than usual.

My skin wasn't bleeding, just a faint redness.

But even that burned under the water.

I winced instinctively when I tried to untangle strands of hair matted with dried blood.

Tears pricked my eyes from the pain, but I held them back and pushed through the bath.

Squelch――…

“…Ah.”

I looked down at the unpleasant sensation beneath my foot and saw bright red footprints.

The blood I hadn’t managed to clean off earlier had stuck to the flooring.

“…Seriously.”

There were so many things I wanted to say—

But I held them in and went back into the bathroom to wash my feet.

Then I came back out and wiped the floor with a rag.

But in the short time I’d been gone, the blood had already dried into the surface.

No matter how many times I scrubbed, it wouldn’t come off.

I wiped and wiped like crazy, sweat dripping from my brow as I desperately scrubbed the floor.

Eventually, the sticky feeling faded, but that faint reddish tint still clung to the spot.

From a distance, it probably looked no different from the rest of the floor.

But that didn’t make the discomfort go away.

“…Haaah.”

Don’t think about it.

It’s just a stain that won’t come off anyway.

I let out a sigh and was about to sit on the bed when—

The accessory lit up, and Myoa popped out.

“Myoong…”

I frowned at the sight of her.

The moment our eyes met, Myoa flinched and quickly looked away.

“…Didn’t we agree that you wouldn’t come out unless it was related to magical girl work?”

“I know, but this is really important-myon!”

I had plenty of things I wanted to say.

Sure, it might be important to her, but what’s it got to do with me?

Still, when Myoa says something is important, it usually means it’s related to magical girls.

And I had already agreed to dedicate myself to the job.

So instead of saying it, I just nodded.

“…What is it?”

“That angel we saw earlier… I mean, the angel-sama. Where did you meet her-myon?”

Her question brought back memories of earlier that day.

Right, Myoa had been trembling like an aspen the moment she saw the angel.

“…Why do you ask all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know where you met her, Seo-ah-myon, but she’s dangerous-myon!”

I blinked.

Dangerous? That airheaded angel who always smiles too easily and generously helps people without asking for anything in return?

“I don’t know about anything else, but she didn’t seem dangerous.”

“That’s why she’s dangerous-myon…! Humanoid monsters are always more—”

Thwack!!

“—Mmmph!! Mmmppff!!”

“…Didn’t I tell you? Not to bring that up in front of me?”

My grip tightened so hard that veins start bulging on the back of my hand.

Myoa started crying.

In the past, maybe I would’ve been fooled by those tears and let go, but not anymore.

Mascots can be revived even if they die.

They’re not the real body, just an avatar.

It was nothing more than a hologram I can interact with.

“This is your final warning. If you ever mention that again, I’ll rip your body apart until your cost hits zero. Got that? Nod if you understand.”

Myoa shook her head.

Just as I was about to squeeze my hand harder and blow her head off—

“I’m saying this for your sake-myoooong!!”

That shriek made me freeze for a second.

“…For my sake?”

“Yes-myon! She’s dangerous-myon! If she stays by your side, you’ll stop being a magical girl-myon!!”

“…What’s that supposed to mean? ‘Stop being a magical girl’?”

“Magical girls are the ones who stand back up through adversity and bring hope to people-myon… That’s why a magical girl’s heart must be strong and unwavering-myon! And that’s exactly why you can’t stay near her-myon! Because she’ll accept every bit of your weakness, and melt your heart until it’s soft and helpless-myon!!”

Hearing Myoa’s words, I felt only one thing.

“…And what’s so dangerous about that?”

I couldn’t understand it.

No matter how many times I turned it over in my head, it just sounded like something good and positive.

So in what way is she dangerous?

“What a fool you are-myon!! Even if I don’t say it, you’ve already felt the change, haven’t you-myon!?”

“I haven’t changed.”

“You haven’t-myon!? Then why didn’t you scrub yourself bloody after today’s fight-myon? And why didn’t you smoke a single cigarette since you got home this morning-myon!?”

I didn’t scrub myself raw because it hurt.

I didn’t smoke because…

I just didn’t feel like it.

“…No matter how I think about it, it still feels like a good change.”

“Then just wait a few more days-myon. You’ll change your mind-myon. It won’t even take long-myon. In just three days, you’ll understand exactly why I said all this-myon.”

Myoa crossed her arms as she spoke.

She had the smug look of someone convinced she’d be proven right.

“You’re really making a big deal out of a meeting that lasted one day.”

“You’ve got it backwards-myon. It only took one day, but that’s the problem-myon.”

“You just have to get the last word, huh… Fine, I get it. Now go back in. I really don’t want to hear that annoying ‘myon’ coming out of your mouth anymore.”

“Remember this-myon. Pain creates hesitation-myon. Hesitation is poison to a magical girl-myon. A magical girl who falters can’t rise through adversity-myon. And when a magical girl hesitates… it’s the powerless civilians who die-myon. So think hard, Seo-ah-myon. Why did you become a magical girl in the first place-myon?”

(TL: Oh my god it’s so irritating to add -myon in every single last sentence)

With that, Myoa turned into light and disappeared into the accessory.

“…Why I wanted to become a magical girl…”

― I don’t want to lose anyone ever again…!

I chewed on the words Myoa spat out and clicked my tongue.

“What a load of nonsense.”

All I need to do is keep doing what I’ve always done so far.

It’s the same routine I’ve been stuck in for so long I’m sick of it.

The pain’s just part of the job now. I’m used to it.

“…I should sleep.”

I lay down on the bed on an empty stomach and closed my eyes.

But no matter how much time passed, sleep didn’t come.

In fact, the longer I lay there, the sharper my mind became.

—■■■, save m—■■■■■■. Your ■■ is ■■■■ing…

To the point old memories clawed their way back, ones I thought I had finally buried.

“—Huuugh…!!”

I shot up and looked around the room.

It was still bright.

Not because morning had come, but because not even 5 minutes had passed since I lay down.

…Yeah, it’s probably just the sunlight.

I got up, pulled the curtains shut, and lay back down again.

But still, no matter how long I tossed and turned, I couldn’t sleep.

―Run…!

―It hurts—I don’t want to die…!!

―Hic… Mom…

“Ugh…! Shut up…!!”

What’s different?

What’s different from that night?

―You need to eat, you know. People live on food.

Right. Eat something.

Just like yesterday, I’ll eat something and then try to sleep.

I immediately got out of bed, opened the fridge, grabbed whatever I could, and stuffed it into my mouth.

Then I crawled back into bed.

I’d eaten about as much as I had the night before, but I didn’t feel full.

Only bloat. An unpleasant heaviness in my stomach.

Maybe that’s why—

Lying down only made the acid rise in my throat. It was worse than before.

Right. Cigarettes. Let’s smoke.

I hurriedly rummaged through the drawer, took out a cigarette, and stuck it between my lips.

But just before I lit it, my eyes fell on the clean room—

And I hesitated.

Right. At the very least, I should go outside to smoke.

With that thought, I looked toward the front door… and that’s when I noticed it.

The bright red footprints.

Leading from the front door all the way to the bathroom.

Hundreds, thousands of them.

The countless lives I had trampled over.

“…”

I froze for a long time.

And in the end, I sat down on the bed and lit the cigarette.

Just like I always did.

Like nothing had changed.

But no matter how many I smoked, sleep wouldn’t come.

What’s different from that night?

Why can’t I sleep like I did back then?

Why can’t I feel that same warmth?

I don’t know…

“…Fuck.”

No, I already knew what was different.

The angel.

That single existence who wasn’t here with me right now.

That absence alone was enough to rattle me this badly.

Me, all by myself.

“…Just one day, huh.”

At least this time, it seems Myoa was right.

I drank the poison.

The poison called warmth.

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