good morning patrons!!! happy july! plans, updates, etc!

hi patrons good morning good morning! i havent talked that much yet this month about plans, which has been intentional, but i wanted to kind of touch base with people who care!

first off, really tragic news, ive lost a lot of weight in the past month and my chest is smaller. its not a natural weight loss so i know the minute i start actually taking care of myself they'll be a bit more full looking, but im just genuinely not eating properly and because of my health and stress i skip a lot of meals. i have a ton of weight to lose before id ever be considered not fat so dont worry!!! ill start eating properly again and ill be fine. a lot of you have noticed that i sometimes get a double chin when im not doing well emotionally and it's literally swelling from my health problems bloating my face LOL. it goes away the minute i start drinking water, eating properly, taking my medication, etc - i'm sorry for people who don't like that my body changes so drastically month to month, i'm really unhealthy lol.

im going to an event today that i'll make into my july vlog with july shoutouts, im also editing my first gumroad pack right now! a lot of you have asked if you should support me there too and to be honest i'm still on the fence if i'm going to upload exclusive stuff there or not.  its hard to host more explicit content here but to be honest i dont even really like doing that kind of stuff? i know a lot of people ask me for it but posting stuff in lingerie already makes me pretty uncomfortable and i don't want to do it more often than i have to, last month was a big deal because i really messed up my scheduling and broke a lot of promises. i don't really know if i feel comfortable hosting content that wouldn't abide by patreon's TOS anywhere else since I don't really like doing it. plus i dont want anyone to feel like they have to give me more money than just a sub here or they wasted what they spent here etc. im not sure! 

as of right now there isn't going to be much of a difference, i might throw in an extra selfie or a clip or something, but if you ever really like a set and don't want it to possibly get deleted ever i'll have it there. my shop is also being worked on still but the person helping me is very overwhelmed with her own stuff sadly so my priorities are to be there for my friend before bothering her about the thing she's helping me with, i'm sorry everyone. 

as for my cosplay plans for july,

besides the june cosplays i havent posted/am posting, i have three/four new cosplays for this month! a lot of posting to be done~~~

one is going to be hestia from danmachi!

i admittedly havent watched up to the current season of danmachi, which is cringe because i have no reason not to - i just have been busy and while i really love the anime it's something that i don't normally click to watch. regardless hestia is adorable and im so excited to finish this! thank you to my patrons and my supporters who helped me buy the supplies off my wishlist!!!! this will hopefully be done since her dress is simple as hell to make but i am kind of busy this month, so no hard date promised for her!!!

and the second is going to be something incredibly precious to me, watashi from jintai!

jintai, or jinrui wa suitai shimashita, or humanity had declined, just had its 10 year broadcast anniversary on the 2nd of july. this anime is incredibly precious to me because i watched the first episode when i was extremely sick 10 years ago as it was broadcasting and it was one of the only things i looked forward to that kept me wanting to fight to stay alive (ironic!). it was a huge important part of my childhood and i've always wanted to honor it in some way. i'm very sad that the costume i had commissioned earlier this year ended up being really really incorrect and i've been working hard to redo it and reconstruct it myself but sadly i didnt finish it in time for the actual anniversary date. i cried a lot lmao. i wish my body was healthier so i could reliably finish things when i want to. im working hard on it and im going to have an editor to edit fairies into my photos, etc, so please look forward to it!!! i'll hopefully make it a print

i love watashi and i love jintai, its a really precious story to me that changed my world view and is the basis for how i feel about the world falling apart around us. it's a bit of an upsetting premise but it's in a positive way, if you know what i mean. 

and the final one i'm announcing is going to be the winner of last month's poll, biker peach!

im really really shocked she won!!! i thought it would be tennis peach for sure!!!

thank you to the people who helped me out again by purchasing some of the supplies i need for her on my wishlist, it was really incredibly helpful when im so behind with everything!!! i havent started on her yet but it's not a supremely difficult costume, just time consuming!!!

and the other one... is going to be posted today! and was bought by someone from my wishlist!!!

im a bit discouraged from posting on social media right now so i might focus hard on patreon interaction with you guys. ive been complaining on my diary twitter about how im search banned on twitter and now for some reason im reply deboosted lol. i dont really understand why since besides my cleavage and occasional ecchi art i dont really do a lot of blatant nsfw stuff, at least not more than people who dont have these problems. im also sadly shadowbanned on instagram because of a reel i did going viral with horny people but thankfully because a lot of the people who follow me are still interacting with my content it hasn't changed my reach too too much, it just makes me really sad because ive worked so fucking hard on albedo and double and kangel and knowing these costumes, which cost me hundreds of dollars and priceless time i'll never get back and stressing my body and deteriorating my mental and physical health to finish quickly,, aren't going to be shared to anyone new because of these reach limits is making me extremely upset. its crazy how much of the internet is nsfw but how much smaller creators are punished for making lightly nsfw stuff than giant porn accounts etc.

alas, ill still make sure to upload it here for you guys so you can see before everyone else - i promised id do that in the first place regardless of anything. thank you guys so much for the support this month!!! 

if you read this entire thing comment your favorite onomatopoeia !!! mine is probably punyu