My Great-Grandmother's Cup

I went to my favorite bar the other day.  I don't drink, but I love visiting places where people drink and reading books.  I don't know why people give such grief to individuals who like to read at the bar, it is one of the best silent pick-up lines in the world.  Not that I am into "pick up" culture.  I prefer a genuine interaction, but my being at the bar with my book isn't bothering anyone.  I have found a nice rotation of bars that I can go to that will provide me with mocktails that are more than just "SUGAR, ORANGE JUICE, AND A LIME".  

So on this particular day, I went to my favorite bar, and the bartender made me a drink with Pathfinder.  A non-alcoholic spirit that, currently, doesn't know who I am or pay me any money. And when he presented it to me, I recognized it in a glass.  My great-grandmother has a set of glasses that looked exactly like this one. And when I touched the glass I was instantly bombarded with the remembrance of several experiences.  Mostly her presence.  My great-grandmother was the kindest, sweetest woman you would ever meet.  She couldn't read and would pretend to when we went to church together, and you would never have known unless you knew.

Sometimes when I think about how she couldn't read, I get overwhelmed with anger that I have difficulty processing.  There is no reason, other than racism, for her not to have ever been able to read.  It makes me feel guilty for not reading as much as possible.  At the same time, I am always looking for reasons to beat myself up about something. That is one thing I did not do around her.

I didn't feel the need to berate myself. She was always accepting. Always understanding. And always ready to watch WWE Monday Night Raw.

She loved The Rock and John Cena for some reason.  We spent many hours together watching soap operas for people who think soap operas are ridiculous. Anyway, I just wanted to share this thought with you all. I often have thoughts that I don't tell anyone about.  Have you ever been reminded of someone in a situation where you weren't expecting to be reminded?  What did you think?

Also, thank you to my new patrons. I will discuss some of the things that brought you here very soon.  They are difficult topics, but I think sharing them openly is better than keeping them bottled in.  I'll see you all soon.