Potter vs Skywalker Demo No.2 + Discarded lyrics

Dear patrons!! Here is a "Potter vs Skywalker" demo recorded after we had revised the lyrics about 9 or 10 times on paper/email. This demo is very close to the final version, but small tweaks were made after this. We had just come up with the idea of including Yoda and it really seemed to enhance Luke's third verse.

You'll notice some more traditional British terms are missing in this demo which were incorporated in the final version. Things like "Bugger Off" instead of "Go Back", "Mum" instead of "Mom", "Brilliant" instead of "Dope" and "Dusty Bin" instead of "Trash Can".

Dusty Bin might feel like too much of a deep cut reference, but trash cans in England are called dust bins. (For the uninitiated Dusty Bin was a daft looking trash can type character from a 1980's British TV Game Show called 3-2-1) So, including it instead of the original version "Trash Can" just seemed an easy switch; especially as R2D2 is often shown dirty/dusty in various scenes in the movies. It also avoided Harry saying the fairly American word "Trash" twice in his verses (out of character for an Englishman) and importantly you don't need to know the reference to comprehend the line.

You'll also notice the "Slitherin" reference was not in this demo. It was a cool line we had from the start, but the guys still  tried to rework it a few times. I'm very glad we stuck with "Slitherin" in the final version rather than the "Snogging someone's sister" line you'll hear in the demo as I think it hits much harder.

I'll try to dig out one more demo for this battle (hopefully from earlier in the writing process). But, a lot of the writing for this match-up took place via video calls or email exchanges between us; rather than the guys laying down ideas on audio. Below you can read a whole bunch of lyrics that we considered (some of which were submitted by patrons) but were ultimately rejected.

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HARRY:

My raps are so magic, my flow’s so seamless,

Every booth I step to is a Chamber of Sweetness.

When your clothes went black I couldn’t take you seriously,

Looking like emo Toby McGuire from Spider-Man 3.

Your time as the hero of your franchise is over,

You've been replaced by a silver buckethead and Baby Yoda.

And I’m Baking up some burns for your little droid too,

Leave him sitting in the afterlife like R2 See Through.

This mandrake isn’t fertile; he’s moaning worse than Myrtle,

I’ll spell it out: I’m better verbal than this nerdy toy commercial.

You couldn't lay a hand on me without getting spurned,

Stick to what your family is good at: getting burned!

I'm lighting up the industry, I'm that magician,

Here to embarrass your fans worse than the special edition.

Been slitherin round your sis, since you were an embryo,

But while your carrying Yoda, she’s off ridin’ Solo.

When I go off you get caught like Golden Snitches,

I need some Gillyweed, I’m drowning in witches!

LUKE:

I’ve soared through space and explored its deep wonder,

The only flight you know is the stairs you sleep under.

Ya think Ginny would feel your hex appeal,

If she had seen you use your mom as a deflector shield?

Amazing, everything you just said was wrong,

And just like your last movie, it went on too long.

Who will protect you? Sirius? Cedric? Hedwig? Dobby? Fred?

You’re the boy who lived because you get all your friends dead.

Don't step up to The Jedi Knight whose a master of the force!

Given those glasses, you should be sorted to GriffinDork.

You do little magic tricks; I’ve got the Force in me,

We’re just not the same, like philosophy and sorcery.

I trained on Dagobah, with a bog for a gym,

You can go ahead and snog my Outer Rim.

Don't you know what happens when you give a kid a starring role?

It leaves your leading actor saying "accio alcohol".

You're like a polyjuice result, just an imitation,

And You've got less power than converters at Tosche Station.

Rowling's attempts at diversity flop so hard they're comical,

All the retcons leaving fans like "No, That’s not true, that’s impossible”.

You chased the tri wizard cup to win some 'chosen one' clout,

But all you ended up with was No Diggory, no doubt.

Your author on Twitter takes the lore a little too far,

Next she'll change my system to have non-binary stars.