#MakeThisBattle Feedback - August 28th

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... It’s Friday, I'm Nice Peter, it’s hot, and my daughter made me some soup out of rocks, let’s Make This Battle!

Simon Bolivar vs Nelson Mandela [submitted by mblpns, theformerprez & augustus]

We’re out of the gate with a nearly flawless suggestion. I love this. I had to refresh my knowledge of Simon Bolivar, and I don’t think larger audiences will know too much about him off the tops of their heads, but he’s a massive figure, and worth learning about. I think pitching Mr Wayne Brady on the possibility of playing Nelson Mandela sounds very fun, I think he could nail that role perfectly if he’s interested. These are two giants of history who have been to this point overlooked in ERB. Great match up. A-

Popeye vs Sir Francis Drake [submitted by Rockerdude22]

Lol. I’m already laughing at the idea of Lloyd dressed up as Popeye. It makes me happy, it makes children ‘round the world happy. I also think I could grow out that Francis Drake moustache if I start now. The challenge for me would be making Francis Drake sound different from my version of Guy Fawkes. Maybe I’ll pinch my nose closed, you’d be surprised how much little physical alterations can affect your voice in a recording. I don’t know too much about Drake yet, and I worry that not many people do, but again, it is a legit major figure in history worth learning about. And then there’s Popeye. B+

Idi Amin vs Augusto Pinochet [submitted by JustGamer, Tony Rigatoni & 2Hats]

I feel like I should know who Idi Amin is off hand, but I don’t. Was he in Avengers Endgame?    Oh…. yikes, Butcher of Uganda. Yikes. This does give me a wonderful excuse to finally watch “The Last King of Scotland” Now moving onto Pinochet, he’s the Chilean dictator who the USA forced into power...right? We have such a sordid history of that kind of thing, might be nice to address a bit of it. I don’t see how this battle could be particularly “fun” … but it certainly is interesting, they’re big colorful characters, with lots to talk shit about. C+

Slenderman vs Bigfoot [submitted by Neo]

To be honest, I never understood the Slenderman lore. I remember it going around a lot during the Chuck Norris era. No time like the present to learn more…. Ah yes, the Creepy Pasta. That in itself is such an odd name, “creepy pasta”. We know what it means, but can you imagine a future civilization stumbling onto those words and trying to make sense of it?  “It seems they were into…. freaky noodles.” Anyway. I do kinda love it. Bigfoot is fun, not sure how much material there is but name recognition is good. Slenderman is fun, it’s a cool match up. Oh wait... neither of them talk. One to ponder on.

Ponce De Leon vs Benjamin Button [submitted by Dragonsblood23]

My knowledge of Ponce De Leon is limited to the lyric from the Beastie Boys song about science, so I’m guessing he’s a scientist of some sort. Google?  Oh, I get it, the fountain of youth guy, that’s in the second half of the lyric. Okay, so fountain of youth, “discovered” Puerto Rico, vs weird-backwards-aging guy. I hate it. I’ve never seen Benjamin Button, but I do love me some Brad Pitt, so at least the research will be enjoyable. What I will say in the positive, is that maybe there is something to be said for a group battle centering around early explorers of the Americas. There’s some real characters in that group, and you could swing in some Vikings. Think it over, I’ll be watching Benjamin Button and wishing it was Snatch. 

Montezuma vs Ramses II [submitted by Bubonic]

I love it. My only hang up is that people get touchy about spelling Montezuma, but that could be settled with a nice joke. I like this match-up a lot, Ramses brings in so much juiciness from a part of the world and history we’ve largely ignored. Montezuma is awesome, but also a lot to diss. It’s a balanced match-up of history and character, lovely suggestion. The costumes could get very fantastic. Grade A.

Eminem vs Ernest Hemingway [submitted by Swegmaster]

Haha. I like this much more than I would have expected. I've seen the match-up suggested before, and I can safely say this is my favorite Eminem based suggestion I’ve seen. That said Eminem has always been repulsive to me as a ERB character, but putting him up against another wordsmith, of a completely different type, that is exciting. I can see Eminem being much more prepared than the audience expects, he’s read Hemingway and can dissect the literary techniques. There’s lot’s about the Hemingway man himself to talk about too. And I would love to see Eminem and Hemingway kind of dueling-speed-rap, but Eminem’s voice keeps getting higher pitched, and Hemingway’s keeps getting lower.   These are two heavy badass characters, this could be a very fun battle.  Who the hell would play Eminem? Not it!  

Well, look at the time, it’s time to get ill. Sorry, I’ve had Beastie Boys stuck in my head since a few suggestions ago.  If you haven’t listened to all of “Paul’s Boutique” I highly recommend it. I also highly recommend you have a wonderful day, or evening, or night, and join us next time for another thrilling edition of….. Billy The Kid sucks, aka MakeThisBattle, aka Amelia Earhart is a poser. -np

"Lloyd's Hot Takes" - the Epic one chirps up some thoughts!

Man I really am into trying to get the story of Montezuma out there more. But I probably don't know much of it myself. My intuition tells me that 99% of people connect him with getting the shits and that's about it. There's a ton more and it'd be cool to spread some of that knowledge. I don't feel Ramses II is the right match up though. You're starting from a place of tiny bits of knowledge about both parties and it'll have a really hard time connecting with most folks if it's obscure vs obscure. Eminem shouldn't be in an ERB unless he plays himself or something. I know it'd get mad views and would go super-viral but it's just a trap. I think to do it we'd need to wait another 50 years until Em has stopped rapping. To do an impression of a living working battle rapper now is just a bit cringe.   Hemingway doesn't make me too hot with excitement but seems to be very popular and his name keeps coming up. Would he better suited to face another writer; if so who? 

"Monk's Hot Takes" - our manager 

I think its safe to say my top picks for next South American rep are either Pablo Escobar or Diego Maradona. But, Simon Bolivar is not far behind. Facing Mandela does not get me that psyched but its a solid idea. On a sidenote: I am also fascinated by the whole Conquistador era and I wonder if Hernan Cortez could face Bolivar? A Spaniard who conquered South America versus a South American who liberated the people from Spain. Maybe it's not click friendly enough. Elsewhere, I agree with Pete that Lloyd as Popeye is instantly hilarious and its a fun, easy character that older generations know. But, the new animated Popeye cartoon I saw was bloody horrendous which puts me off somewhat. Slenderman in a battle is a cool idea (the documentary "Beware the Slenderman" is worth checking out if you like the macabre) and I think its a character people would easily recognise by name and look alone, even if they know nothing else about him. Eminem probably will never feature in an ERB but he may well win the corresponding MTB poll. ;)

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A new round of MakeThisBattle now begins!!!

The theme this time is "300+". No its not about Sparta. We are looking for match-ups that feature two characters with 300 or more years between their births or deaths.

So, for example Guy Fawkes was born in 1570 whilst Che Guevara was born in 1928. You can use fictional characters too e.g. Vlad The Impaler was born in 1428 whilst Dracula was written into existence in 1897.

You can ignore the theme completely if you prefer. :) But when selecting the match-ups for feedback we will pick 2 or more that match the 300+ theme.

Same rules apply. Seven match-ups in total will be selected. Three suggestions per person. You can post them in the comments below, email them to erbpatreon@gmail.com or post them on the Discord server in the dedicated '#make-this-battle' channel.

Deadline for submissions is... 5pm PT on Thursday 10th September

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RIP Chadwick Boseman - very, very sad news about his passing today.