Everything Everywhere One Thing at a Time - Chapter 13
Added 2024-12-03 12:34:02 +0000 UTCRan a couple days over my imaginary deadline be
Comments
I get what you're saying about the Brother/Twin part, but you seem to have told them apart well enough, so I'm inclined to keep them that way. It's supposed to be a subtle reference to the original creation myths of prehistoric Europe, where two brother gods create the world through various confrontational shenanigans. Their names are literally Manu (Man) and Yemo (Twin). Later, this became Manu (Man), Yemo (Twin) and Trito (Third). Yes, this is indeed plot relevant.
Sebastian Pop
2024-12-06 12:05:37 +0000 UTCI read this the day it released somethings didn't sit right, so I left it and came back to it today and have some suggestions. Instead of saying twin and brother, it would be a lot less confusing if you used the terms Twin one and Twin two. That makes it a lot clearer , as I got extremely confused in the explanation with who was whom. Also there are some typos and grammer corrections in the later half of the chapter, which I can point out later when I have more time to sit and type it out. I am following the alteran and HP reality so far. Still waiting for the giant squid spaceships and the Dyson sphere connection to come into play. Is Masseffect reality connected too? As the giant squid spaceships always make me think of that. But then again multiversal reality is endless and no matter how much the two groups of alterans have isolated and secured a small part of it to run their simulations to get rid of the Ori, it would still be extremely minute part of the multiversal Cosmos. Thanks for the chapter!
Private Writer
2024-12-06 11:41:01 +0000 UTCWell, that's a relief.
Sebastian Pop
2024-12-05 18:31:05 +0000 UTCIs something still crazy if it makes sense? Is what I immediately thought after first read on this. Still makes sense on 2nd read too.
hnbi
2024-12-05 00:07:46 +0000 UTC
