Something I need to get off my chest

Jesus Christ… I have no idea how else to start this topic.

There is this guy who asked me a while ago what the difference would be between my Red Roses Playing Cards and my Blue Magic Playing Cards. “Just got your decks. A bit confused. Red and blue are different only 12 cards?” I asked him what he means with only 12 cards. Every single card in the Red Roses deck is completely new designed and I never used these faces again in another deck. His response was: “ah. Well technically you are right xD” and he sent me a photo where he put two 2 of Spades cards of both decks side by side.

So, short recap. We are talking about a person who can’t even see that EVERY single card is different. I thought with my explanation he would end his day at least a bit smarter but of course I was wrong.

Yesterday I posted something on Instagram and this guy left a comment: “Sounds like you trying to justify yourself after releasing 10 recolored decks.” I was absolutely not in the mood for anything so I just deleted the comment. A few minutes later he posted a screenshot of his comment with the text: “oh boi, @blackrosesplayingcards os offended and has deleted my comment which he didn’t like. Ouch. You delete something you don’t want people to see.”

Again, quick recap. The guy posted a comment and he immediately made a screenshot. He knew I would delete it so he just wanted to be prepared.... Now, put yourselves in my position. You post something and you get a rude answer. You can ignore it, or you delete it because it’s your page, right?

Since he tagged me in his story I wrote him and I said: “listen, your comments are always a little bit rude. I don’t want to argue with you since you simply don’t understand what I’m doing. That’s fine. You don’t have to. You also don’t need to like or understand it. I could explain this meme to you or why you are wrong but I’m tired of it. So simply don’t take it personal”.

His response: “I know it’s not personal Moreover, I think we both understand why you do it and why you do it this way. Just for money, 100% for money. You just cannot accept it on public as sheep will not enjoy it. You said you spend 80 hours on redesign bicycle faces. Average person work 40 hours per week, and you get much more. It’s fine, everyone get money how they can. Don’t worry I don’t post anything from this chat, private is private.”

Later in the conversation he mentioned the 80 hours of work a few times. I just mentioned these 80 hours once because he asked me what the differences are in my redesigned files. And he told me he would have worked 2000 hours on his deck. I told him that it isn’t a competition. This weird fact that someone comes to you, without even understanding what you are doing. And on top of everything he tells me “don’t worry I don’t post anything from this chat, private is private.” As if I need to fear something.

I told him that if I would do it for money I would print 10 decks right away in 10 different colors. And even if I would do it only for money – what’s the damn problem with it? I told him that this is something he needs to understand that it isn’t a bad thing to get money for your work. He said I never mention money and that I like it to call it art because I would know it sounds better. At this point I realized we are spinning in a circle. I could refute all of his allegations. Everybody could see that everything he is saying comes from pure frustration. But of course he simply wants that I admit that everything he thinks about me is true.

Later he mentioned my 50K on Kickstarter. Weird that he even knows the funding goals better than me but ok. But in the next sentences he said I wouldn’t get it. “It’s not about the money, it’s not about you, you don’t get the point”. Yes of course, he knows all the numbers, he knows how much effort I put into my work he knows exactly what I’m doing and I don’t get it. Imagine I would fund every Kickstarter deck on the last day, then it would be different for those people because I don’t make money.

“Why don’t you design anything new?” Again – a question from someone who don’t understand that every deck is new. But I said to him: “Look at the Orbits.” Turned out he don’t like the Orbits either. With this answer he revealed himself and he completely lost all his arguments about recoloring. He simply don’t like it because it’s more successful than everything that he will accomplish in his life. And he knows it.

As if everything is so easy for me. I worked my ass of to get to the point where I am today and my fear to end at the point where I started is so huge that every new project stresses the shit out of myself. Of course, this person is just frustrated, because he probably isn’t able to print his own deck. But Jesus Christ, is this my f*cking problem?

Like I have said in one my previous posts. People made jokes about what I’m doing because I couldn’t make a living with what I’m doing. Now people think I’m so successful and everything sells without any effort. A good reason to hate me know.

I’m so f*cking tired of it and this really kills a lot of my motivation. And yes, I know I should simply ignore dumb people and my life would be so much easier. But I also like to discuss with people about my what I do. If they think wrong about me, I have the urge to show them that what they think isn’t true. I also understand that this is a never-ending story.

One last thing about the money. I really don’t have a lot more in my life than my playing cards. As if that wouldn’t be sad enough. But that’s why I can say I put my life into this. And what’s art if not this? Even if I wouldn’t care about it. I could also say please buy my cards because I want to get rich af. It doesn’t matter what I say. I know my decks sell because what I create is better than the average. A lot better.

I wasn’t sure if I should share this story with you or not. These stories also shouldn’t sound like a therapy lesson every time: :D But like the headline says, I had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading ♡

Daniel