0094 — Philippe's Slumber Party!
Added 2024-11-01 17:00:12 +0000 UTCProcess panels and writing from this strip post at noon in tiers 2 & 3, as always!
When I was in sixth grade I was invited to a birthday slumber party at a friendly guttersnipe named Derek's house. His mom worked at Ed's, a low-slung building in our economically free-falling mountain town, which was equal parts crappy mini mart and dangerous dive bar. I was excited, because the gang in attendance would be a dynamic mix of cool kids and scrappy townies. (Derek liked heavy metal music, and because he was visibly poor, the cool kids could tell that his fandom was more authentic, so they sought this halo of credibility.)
Derek's house was clearly the work of parents who were (a) not around a lot, and (b) not into opening the windows when they were. The dander of large dogs — equal parts white pepper and hot orange nausea — was ground into a carpet already claimed by the Philip Morris Company; there was no savory fragrance of take-n-bake birthday pizza, or the sweet vanillin of rising cupcakes. The mother and some of her friends sat at the kitchen table smoking and drinking store-brand sodas mixed with Crown 7, which they poured from a large, weirdly crinkly plastic bottle — perhaps it was an aged decoy bottle from Ed's, which I would later learn seldom contained the name-brand liquor within. Even if the brand was just Seagram's.
His grandma worked at the 7-11, so the food angle was covered by foil-wrapped hamburgers that had timed out of the display case. Her arrival, much later in the party, was the only high point. I do not remember the arrival of a confection of any sort, though there may have been some donuts she swiped from the expiry box. I do remember that there was a "poster" of a woman in a Mickey's malt liquor bikini, which had been folded in quarters at some point, serving as the only decoration in Derek's room. I also fell on the rug so hard that a large scab came off, revealing angry red and white flesh. Fearing the coven below, I did not ask for help, and instead blew on the wound for the remainder of the evening. I am fairly certain I slept on the ground under one of the bath towels his mother distributed for this purpose.
The next morning my father, stepping over the variety of trash bags on Derek's porch, came and fetched me. As we drove away in the car, with him scowling and inhaling my unpopular new fragrance, I told him about my wound, which he said was definitely going to require the scalding foam of hydrogen peroxide at this point, if not outright amputation. He also mentioned that I was never going to Derek's house again, and at this I felt a great and wonderful peace.
Comments
Such is life innit.
Reto Pulver
2024-11-08 21:09:31 +0000 UTCI'd suggest a mix between that, and embarrassment over a helicopter parent screaming at a 1st grade teacher for punishing us over something we actually did.
Matthew Miller
2024-11-07 21:15:39 +0000 UTCI bet it will be declined for the most oscars of any short film that year!
Ruxine
2024-11-03 23:33:30 +0000 UTCIt's sometimes hard to internalize just how dysfunctional families are based on your family. It seems like there is always someone worse which is shocking.
GruntyGinMan
2024-11-03 18:08:24 +0000 UTCParental abandonment - ignored at every turn by parents watching insta vids of cobblers gluing heels on old shoes and a man skateboarding to Fleetwood Mac
Chris Onstad
2024-11-03 15:13:55 +0000 UTCNow that’s what I’m talking about. The cursing lessons detail alone infers a vast psychological mechanism and void that does the work of a chapter in a single line. This story is some real Saddest Thing.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-03 15:10:38 +0000 UTCI had a classmate in second grade (”J”), whose father was a terminal about-to-die alcoholic. J once told the class that it is not abnormal even for a grown man to poop themselves when they are ill. But some of us already intuited the real issue at hand. J had the stale ciggie smell of the hard kids wafting off of his entire being. I taught J not to curse, so J stopped cursing around me, exclusively. I attended his birthday party at his home. I remember picking up a Hong Kong made toy for a present, with my single-mom tier budget. The plainest home-made chocolate cake was the focal point of the festivity. His father died, he moved away, never heard of him again. Can’t remember his surname, so no googling either. May God have mercy on his soul. (Then there were the ones with no birthdays.)
Henri
2024-11-03 13:52:14 +0000 UTCThis brought up sadly times at well-off current day, reminiscing about the way things were way back when. I wonder what will be the generational trauma of the current little ones. Perhaps an unsanitized tweet.
Henri
2024-11-03 13:23:31 +0000 UTC"I actually emailed the publisher twice asking about it; never got an answer 🥲" I doubt anyone who worked there even last week still works there this week. I am sorry about this Reto Pulver
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:06:29 +0000 UTCI'm glad somebody remembers the failed star-drawings of young brain+hand times.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:03:24 +0000 UTCThis "propanated" rather than carbonated idea has legs. soft drinks for hard huffers.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:02:51 +0000 UTCGot to keep the lights on and the cat food tumblin' in the dish
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:02:11 +0000 UTCWasn't it amazing how bad people's houses could smell even just through passive mediocrity?
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:01:43 +0000 UTCMan that ship sailed...23 years ago. But he soldiers on, the indefatigable little shaver!
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:01:17 +0000 UTCExactly. It's the "all ages show" of the socially maladroit.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 19:00:46 +0000 UTCTodd was also sleeping in a pissed-in sock in a Serializer color strip that was magnetic thanksgiving cut outs. For the mega-nerds playing along at home. That pissed-in sock is canon.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:59:47 +0000 UTCThese dudes have wabi-sabi vision of the soul, they can See each other's messes
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:58:26 +0000 UTCTodd and Beef in a group therapy setting will be my Oscar-declined short film
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:57:09 +0000 UTCIt's core achewood to be cruel, but not dumb-cruel like Lemony Snicket
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:56:09 +0000 UTCGot to flex the RC muscle sometimes, it's canon anatomy!
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:55:41 +0000 UTCThose dudes have bonded over so many Circumstances. Of course, Todd has blasted most of the memories out of his brain with solvents and 'baccy.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:55:05 +0000 UTCYes. Well captured, well said.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:54:27 +0000 UTCI'm glad you noticed that is a main aspect of the strip. Sometimes it can be hard to publish a strip where one of the main jokes is a thing that is not seen or mentioned, but I'm a special kind of guy.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-02 18:53:49 +0000 UTCI actually emailed the publisher twice asking about it; never got an answer 🥲
Reto Pulver
2024-11-02 17:55:24 +0000 UTCNO-ONE ELSE CAME?! Phillipe needs better friends.
Graeme Anthony
2024-11-02 16:20:47 +0000 UTCDamn I was the Philippe with a loving family who spent many nights at friends' and relations' homes feeling a deep sadness at the bleakness of the environment of parents who were barely old enough to rent a car chain smoking and watching the lottery numbers with the intensity of a religious revival while their children went feral in the absence of concern
Brian Brake
2024-11-02 15:43:24 +0000 UTCooh la la, sex!
Professor Hazard
2024-11-02 13:10:58 +0000 UTCThey’re knuckleheads from back in the day…
Meadow Green
2024-11-02 13:09:28 +0000 UTCI’ve been using this term so much lately
Meadow Green
2024-11-02 13:09:13 +0000 UTCTodd & Roast Beef BONDING? Also, the last panel made me sad-laugh.
Walter Biggins
2024-11-02 01:54:56 +0000 UTCDiabetes crashed my pizza party about ten months ago. Can't recommend it.
blair
2024-11-02 01:02:26 +0000 UTCROUGH. CHUCKLES. (obligatory)
2scrogz
2024-11-02 00:07:31 +0000 UTC"In which we discover why Todd is always getting high, and even more of why Beef is chronically Having Depression." Beef & Todd ought to start a support-group for "Dudes Who Have Had A B-B-Bad Shake In Life," but men will literally accidentally traumatize Philippe on his birthday instead of "Doing Therapy," so it will probably never occur to them. Todd because he'll get high on absolutely terrible drugs and forget how cathartic this conversation was; Beef because he wouldn't want to burden others with his being From Circumstances, and could never overcome his social anxieties enough to talk about them with strangers in a support-group-like setting.
2scrogz
2024-11-02 00:06:24 +0000 UTCIndeed! Scrolled back up to enjoy that little detail I skated by
Cody Richmond
2024-11-01 23:53:49 +0000 UTCI follow a "random achewood panel" twitter and they often post ones from strips I don't remember at all, so I go back and read a chunk I've forgotten.
E Corcoran
2024-11-01 23:08:59 +0000 UTCit's cruel to be kind
E Corcoran
2024-11-01 23:05:13 +0000 UTCThis one is kinda cruel Onstad
Meadow Green
2024-11-01 22:48:20 +0000 UTCWe come for the stories and laughs, stay for the hyper specific references
Vincent Verweij
2024-11-01 22:09:12 +0000 UTCI tried to imagine what that sock must smell like, or when it was last washed, and my olfactory bulb immolated in protest.
Oppido
2024-11-01 21:30:42 +0000 UTCRoast Beef is SO happy to bond with someone over this exact flavour of childhood trauma
Sedric And Charlie
2024-11-01 20:42:07 +0000 UTCCorrrrrrrect
Bungus Bronbo
2024-11-01 20:02:00 +0000 UTCJust here to say Todd sleeping in a sock sent me. The Phillipe part was a stab in the heart because it's so real. Childhood is a treasure trove of pain
Jenn
2024-11-01 19:57:35 +0000 UTCPhillipe is learning that inviting "everybody" to an event is a "keep out" sign to everyone in the community who feels their social needs are adequately met. I have been on all sides of this equation at different points in my life.
Douglas Wykstra
2024-11-01 19:54:40 +0000 UTCDon't you DARE push intergenerational trauma onto poor, sweet Phillippe.
Colin Sueyres
2024-11-01 19:45:51 +0000 UTCDid you attend several sleepovers I attended during my childhood? Where did you get my exact memories?
Mark Willard
2024-11-01 19:38:14 +0000 UTCMan, Why You Got To Do A Thing (Vicarious Traumatization edition)?
usagisteve
2024-11-01 19:18:21 +0000 UTCI'm one of those. I have a webcomic archive folder in my Google drive and Achewood and the blogs are jammed in there. Every once in a while I send my kid an arc and she critiques it from an elder Gen Z perspective. She has scream laughed at some, so good job there.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-11-01 19:17:49 +0000 UTCWhen I draw a star it often turns out like that.
Nicholas Williams
2024-11-01 19:15:37 +0000 UTCDo you think the 3 of them could bond in joy over the new Shirley Temple flavored 7-Up? With extra propane in Todd's and a prophylactic metformin for Beef? (no comment on shitty abusive moms)
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-11-01 19:02:39 +0000 UTCYeah I guess Philippe's birthday is 8/22. Ah well. Todd still needs to take it back. he reminds me of my cousin who spent the night at my house when I was a kid and when he heard my parents fighting he told me he had ptsd for years afterwards. nightmares and all of that. he wasn't kidding! https://achewood.com/2007/08/22/title.html
J Hardy Carroll
2024-11-01 18:54:49 +0000 UTCWow, and this was *party* I’m sure someone in here can top it
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:48:37 +0000 UTCGlad this got pointed out
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:47:13 +0000 UTCAlso re diabetes - one could sub in “high blood pressure” or any number of such things as an analogue.
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-01 18:40:41 +0000 UTCOne of the bleakest pieces of writing I've read this year, and I work in a newsroom!
Oppido
2024-11-01 18:36:48 +0000 UTCi guess that means with the gas & matches it really was over with in 30 minutes.
Walter Cooke
2024-11-01 18:33:25 +0000 UTCI don't know if this is actually a birthday party? But I read it that same way too. If so, it's a lousy way to celebrate turning 5, but maybe things will be better for Philippe next year, when he turns 5.
Oppido
2024-11-01 18:30:43 +0000 UTCYou just know stories about moms hit Philippe extra hard. He should get Ray to tell him some Sondra stories as a corrective. Also, those are some quality "kid who doesn't know how to draw stars" stars.
Oppido
2024-11-01 18:28:26 +0000 UTCMy pleasure, literally! If an omnibus ever magically materialized I of course would snap one up and give at least one more as a gift.
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-01 18:26:53 +0000 UTCThis is the closest Beef will ever get to attending therapy, so I suppose we should chalk it up as a win for him.
Oppido
2024-11-01 18:26:22 +0000 UTCI laughed at this
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:25:29 +0000 UTCI was drinking a lot at the time but thought “diabetes” would be my main health problem
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:24:25 +0000 UTCNice call
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:23:19 +0000 UTCI'm guessing it's neither Seagram's nor Crown 7 but Rich and Rare.
Jay Y
2024-11-01 18:22:26 +0000 UTCExcept, you know, in the correct way
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:20:26 +0000 UTCMan, I had no idea so many folks would connect with that
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:20:06 +0000 UTCI like that you asked this. We haven’t seen him since last Xmas right, passed out in the truck?
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:19:26 +0000 UTCThat feels a little "accomplishmenty" for T
kdusjjdhxksj
2024-11-01 18:18:52 +0000 UTCJust finished a full re-read myself. The main takeaway I had was that, being much older these days than I was when I read it contemporaneously, Ray's simmering terror of adult-onset diabetes had a new poignancy.
Kyle Cassidy
2024-11-01 18:17:53 +0000 UTCIs Vlad dead
Bungus Bronbo
2024-11-01 18:16:48 +0000 UTCShit gets real when the grenadine cracks open
b.zap
2024-11-01 18:15:26 +0000 UTCI was just astral projected to Derek’s birthday party. It was terrible 😖
Cf Duddy
2024-11-01 18:13:26 +0000 UTCwow, that's amazing! Thanks Matt. It is for the hardcores like you that I wish the anthology series had ever gotten printed.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:04:58 +0000 UTCTodd has a way of fucking up Philippe's birthday like EVERY DAMN YEAR. He needs to go in and tell the kid he was just pretending, like that time he was doing cocaine at everyone. Otherwise I can see CPS getting involved.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-11-01 18:04:00 +0000 UTCSearched up "Mickey's malt liquor bikini", was not disappointed
E Corcoran
2024-11-01 18:03:46 +0000 UTCThanks. It's my hope that the interpersonal dynamics of thirteen or so main characters can provide enough permutations to keep this train rolling.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:03:09 +0000 UTCI’ve read it in total probably at least 10 times since I learned about it in 2008, when Cornelius and Polly hit it off. (Not to mention 5 shirts and 3 hoodies still in rotation, plus the original soft bound books - I realize I’m not unique in these ways). It is comfort food and also still challenging! And regularly hilarious. We even named our cat Philippe (profile photo). A chat would be fun!
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-01 18:02:42 +0000 UTCWV, America's OG hard times
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 18:00:49 +0000 UTCThanks. Yeah, this was a different approach than I usually take, trying to capture the transition of a hope rather than "doin' jokes"
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:59:57 +0000 UTCIt’s a bit unreal how you’re able to shake up the bag and create a whole new dynamic with three characters that everyone here already knows so well. Damn dude. For any Dereks I knew, I never went over to their houses. I could only imagine what you described.
Tommy Wingo
2024-11-01 17:58:48 +0000 UTCLike Mr. Cropes, I'm from 'round parts of West Virginia, so the former was much more represented than the latter.
Hunter
2024-11-01 17:58:28 +0000 UTCI dunno, it's something about Phillipe reacting to it that takes it to a new level of empathy for me. Like, it's not just tragic that it happened, now it's also part of the death of Phillipe's innocence, too. After all these years it's a failure that's still causing harm
Jonathan M Cunningham
2024-11-01 17:58:00 +0000 UTCMan, that was just another Twain Harte birthday party. Us woods kids are so dumb we can't tell trauma from procedure
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:53:42 +0000 UTCHow did the one about young Roast Beef at the laundromat on Christmas do you, that's maybe the saddest one in the archive
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:52:59 +0000 UTCNo, but I wish that it had been.
Josh Egbert
2024-11-01 17:52:17 +0000 UTCI drew a commission of them on a senility couch once, was that for you?
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:51:37 +0000 UTCYour horrific description of that night at Derek's house was even better than the cartoon.
Walter Cooke
2024-11-01 17:51:10 +0000 UTCI don't think any of these have ever made me cry before
Jonathan M Cunningham
2024-11-01 17:51:10 +0000 UTCThese are good details. Are you sure you didn't grow up in Twain Harte, CA in the 80s? Because that was all the kids there. Oh, except for the kid who had a nice house and a maid, never mind. That kid was about 120 miles away in the Bay Area, where no kids had cold grubby tobacco-stinking fingers and wet wool jackets from whence dog emanated when warmed again.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:50:57 +0000 UTCI'm always impressed by people who read the whole archive regularly. Makes me want to do a livestream chat with folks who go through it repeatedly and talk about the meta trends they notice.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:49:21 +0000 UTCMan, that could parse out a lot of ways. Did the pop tart have LSD on it? Why were you in your mom's room when he was around? This is starting to be a Paul Thomas Anderson movie in a rad, bad way.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:48:41 +0000 UTCYeah, unfortunately that's typically the gist with this little shaver. Perhaps we'll see some unalloyed happiness in a written piece for the holidays. The kid deserves a break, as you say.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:47:40 +0000 UTCYeah, my mom's boyfriend had a whole super soaker of sex medicine. He'd give us a poptart to split when he walked into my mom's room with it
Rob Satterfield
2024-11-01 17:43:23 +0000 UTCI saw the headline in my email and felt a small thrill of anticipation. Oh gee! I thought, maybe we'll finally meet some friends of Philippe's! It's about time he met some nice people outside of the f'ed up men in his house. And then... it went in a very different direction. I imagine this was much like Philippe's own emotional trajectory. Jesus, Onstad, ease up on the poor li'l guy.
Uncle Elephant
2024-11-01 17:38:42 +0000 UTCExplains why they allow Todd to hang around. Did a big reread of the whole shebang recently and noted specifically the Beef/Todd friendship, and this new strip makes it a little more clear in a way that could be inferred by Todd’s general terribleness. In fact one thing I also thought was how well Beef turned out overall, given his horrible circumstances - acknowledging that he is far from ok in a few ways.
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-01 17:37:31 +0000 UTCA bit of an inverse, as I was a rough kid in a house twice the size and opulence I had ever been in. Different glasses for every liquid kind of house. Even in the dawn of my teen years I was told 'not to startle the maid' because of my rough exterior. An enlightening experience to what people who actually get to have slumber parties do at slumber parties instead of building questionable structures in the woods and sneaking cigarettes from a relatives jacket.
Hunter
2024-11-01 17:32:17 +0000 UTCI don't know, man. I don't know. I heard Diddy had a water gun full of sex medicine and he was just CRAZY with it
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:27:23 +0000 UTCDetails! Unless there is an unexpired statue of limitations
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:25:44 +0000 UTCProbably not even Todd. He's just in plato's cave, doin' misery like it was a Tuesday
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:17:43 +0000 UTCOof, I meant Todd. I might need that old folks home Ray & Beef are going to later on.
Josh Egbert
2024-11-01 17:17:30 +0000 UTCThat little circle is supposed to be his cup of sugar liquid but it's impossible to tell due to my drawing
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:17:10 +0000 UTCBut yeah, he's probably in his room puffing on the tip of his own cock
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:16:43 +0000 UTCWhen you invite "everybody" you get what you get. T, like all the other adults in P's life, is fairly useless
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:16:18 +0000 UTCLyle shows up later, not knowing it's a slumber party and smelling of wet refried bean pans
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:15:51 +0000 UTCThat's the stuff. I guess the present was, "you're not them"
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:15:29 +0000 UTCMore traumatizing than a Diddy sleepover
Rob Satterfield
2024-11-01 17:15:13 +0000 UTCThey've been boys since the day, now we're seeing a little more into why, other than "both of shitty days"
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:15:09 +0000 UTCI too have been From Circumstances at a slumber party.
Hunter
2024-11-01 17:15:08 +0000 UTChe's married and has a kid and is always smiling on Facebook, going to the old lake etc
Chris Onstad
2024-11-01 17:14:46 +0000 UTCMan look at how pleased Beef is that Todd can relate.
Steamed_Grahams
2024-11-01 17:13:07 +0000 UTCSomething very similar happened to me on my ninth birthday. My mom and grandma were both inner-city teachers and counselors of a sort. It was just them and me at dinner that year for some reason, and the entire meal was them swapping war stories about the most troubled kids they'd had in the recent past.
Sebastian Payne
2024-11-01 17:12:24 +0000 UTChope derek’s doing ok
s b
2024-11-01 17:10:20 +0000 UTCLyle is not high on the list of people I'd want at my slumber party.
Josh Egbert
2024-11-01 17:07:58 +0000 UTCHow did T allow this configuration of guests to happen. He should've been there as a buffer, the fuck else does he have going on
Lonesome Cowpoke
2024-11-01 17:07:47 +0000 UTCI see Phillipe is in the corner. Is he laying on something? A record perhaps? 💿
DOOMFINGER
2024-11-01 17:07:34 +0000 UTCwho knew that Todd had such unsounded depths
Shawn Warren
2024-11-01 17:07:18 +0000 UTC
