0091 — The Birthday Pot Roast
Added 2024-10-11 17:00:10 +0000 UTCThe process/B-roll strips which post two hours after this comic are back! They're available to the Author's Tier and In-Universe Tier — upgrade for a month and see all you've been missing!
It was discussed at the house that this was a "weird one" to run directly after our honeymoon, so I promised to make it clear that this strip was premised solely on how bloated I felt after eating a bunch of the in-flight dinner buns on British Airways (both ways), and has nothing whatsoever to do with my beautiful bride.
Comments
Strong agree. The complimentary saying in our household is "have sex first!!!"
magicarl
2024-10-25 20:45:34 +0000 UTCrelated: because of a Liz Lemon Halloween costume in the past, which included a whole bag of off-brand cheetos, which were eaten entirely, without pause, by both me and "Liz", eating too much garbage to ruin plans of gettin busy is still known as Liz Lemoning in my household.
magicarl
2024-10-18 18:59:53 +0000 UTCThis is why, in committed relationships, if you're planning a celebratory romantic day, you schedule the intimacy for ~3 p.m. so that: 1. there's no issues with overfull bellies 2. enough time to get cleaned up and dressed for a dinner-date afterwards. 3. all that pre-dinner exercise makes for an excellent appetite and guilt-free feasting. Cast aside your antiquated notions of how dates are supposed to work, this reversal of the typical order-of-operations will assist in the navigation of the canoe to Shangri-la.
2scrogz
2024-10-15 20:58:50 +0000 UTCI didn't know about that sketch but MadTV is so underrated. You think Pixar thought for even a minute when naming those characters either?
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-10-12 13:15:08 +0000 UTCOlive Garden = birth control
ladiesbane
2024-10-12 13:12:29 +0000 UTCThere's a classic Mad TV sketch called "Sex Toy Story" -- the names aren't as good, but Buzz and Woody make an appearance, along with the song, "You've Got A Toy In Me".
ladiesbane
2024-10-12 13:11:16 +0000 UTCIt used to be you could count on having at least a little sodium to stand on when the smoke cleared and the dust settled. Not so these days.
Cody Richmond
2024-10-12 01:19:18 +0000 UTCI agree with the lady cat that sometimes postprandial orgasms are not worth the calories expended from the fine meal that preceded them.
Brody
2024-10-12 00:52:42 +0000 UTCi like the way you think! Scandibirria!
Tyrone Slothrust
2024-10-11 22:20:58 +0000 UTCAs a vagina-haver, this is dead-on. It is just the reality of having a body. Frustrating for all parties involved, and "not worth it" is very real. (Beef - chin up, bud. You just made too good of pot roast.) Long story short, I'd consider sharing this with my therapist, but I'm not sure she knows what Achewood is, so I'd have to spend a lot of my expensive session explaining stuff for very little payoff.
Lynsey McCoskey
2024-10-11 22:13:57 +0000 UTC“…the whole cast of Toy Story” had me doubling over in laughter
Walter Biggins
2024-10-11 21:59:52 +0000 UTCI think pot roast and gravy could make a resurgence simply by calling it “Midwest Birria”
A. Hamster
2024-10-11 20:41:06 +0000 UTCAnd we might as well have our vascular systems pulsating with kecap manis.
Nicholas Williams
2024-10-11 20:24:46 +0000 UTCThey're trying to move a whole damn baseball team to Sacramento, "temporarily." Watch how that goes
Ian Stewart
2024-10-11 19:54:30 +0000 UTCKind of weirdly proud of Beef for opening up to T like this? Go get your Vulnerable on, my man.
Oppido
2024-10-11 19:51:07 +0000 UTCWhen I was small, we had friends in Sacramento. We didn't know why.
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 19:29:21 +0000 UTCI was born in Sacramento and this whole thread is speaking to me in a viscerally unpleasant manner
Lionstooth
2024-10-11 19:26:49 +0000 UTCWas it The Mongo what made that little robot gay?
b.zap
2024-10-11 19:25:32 +0000 UTCOdyssey class. That thing could take on the Romulans and the Borg. (I'm sorry)
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-10-11 19:06:01 +0000 UTCThe cat proves his emotional maturity by expressing concord, that the orgasm was unnecessary due to his fine meal.
Tom P
2024-10-11 19:05:59 +0000 UTCWell, if it we're talking maritime rules, I imagine this would be in the Destroyer class
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 19:00:39 +0000 UTCYes it is. Maybe should be Admiral Hitatchi then huh?
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-10-11 18:59:27 +0000 UTCI made them up on the plane. Isn't the Hitachi the one you can settle wet concrete with?
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 18:58:51 +0000 UTCHave you been sitting on those sex toy nicknames for years? Or did they just come extemp? I know a lady who nicknamed one of hers Captain Hitatchi. But I like yours better.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-10-11 18:54:24 +0000 UTCOh my god, my current (soon to be former?) boss lives in Sacramento and This Tracks. I’m on the east coast but when I met him in the back of my mind I was like “who the fuck lives in Sacramento?”
Miiiike Walker
2024-10-11 18:18:13 +0000 UTCVlad and Chucklebot furiously moving the dial on the amount of information they desire
GruntyGinMan
2024-10-11 18:09:40 +0000 UTCI have heard that every commercial food producer fills their food with extra sodium because all the world is collapsing around us
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 18:08:58 +0000 UTCI have heard that the airlines fill their food with extra sodium because something about the pressurized cabin desensitizes our taste buds, but I think its more likely because they are bad and they like giving people shitty things that will hurt them.
Nicholas Williams
2024-10-11 17:59:20 +0000 UTCStraight from the bottle, like the masters, like the Dutch
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:43:12 +0000 UTCI can see that. The kind of guy who moves to Sacramento.
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:42:42 +0000 UTChoping "bust out the mongo" becomes a new idiom
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:42:11 +0000 UTCNah, after he got his HVAC certificate at the community, he just… Nermal was different after that, on the corporate grind, they drifted apart
Anthony Thompson
2024-10-11 17:42:02 +0000 UTCLESS
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:41:45 +0000 UTCDid he drink beer from a bottle and lose his job?
Anthony Thompson
2024-10-11 17:38:12 +0000 UTCWell...we went back to her place and tried to put the moves on but neither of us was really having it. She asked me to stay overnight and I said sure. Then she busted out the Mongo. To clarify, at this time I was in her bed, and 100% awake No more dates after that but she did end up stalking me for a few months, so that was fun
Tom
2024-10-11 17:35:38 +0000 UTCMORE
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:29:45 +0000 UTCHey I’d been traveling for two weeks. I was tired of inflammation
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:28:57 +0000 UTCAh. Then, uh, nevermind. (But my question, as applied to Arlene, still stands)
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:28:01 +0000 UTCOh man this takes me back to a *truly* awful second date (possibly third? Definitely not a first, I am not a cad)
Tom
2024-10-11 17:27:54 +0000 UTCThat was the world's favourite Arlene
Matthew Harris
2024-10-11 17:22:00 +0000 UTCThe pot roast is obviously what I want people to be focused on here. That gravy!
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:19:37 +0000 UTCBut this would be a funny wrong-number text to get
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:19:02 +0000 UTCWasn’t Arline Garfield’s girlfriend
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:18:44 +0000 UTCIf I cannot conquer in the bedroom I will build a Kingdom in the kitchen.
Omnithea
2024-10-11 17:17:33 +0000 UTCDo you not
Matthew Harris
2024-10-11 17:16:30 +0000 UTCIs this a reply to the wrong comment
Matthew Harris
2024-10-11 17:16:08 +0000 UTCDid she ever wind up mating with nermal? He was yoked when he grew up
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:13:02 +0000 UTCBest reply; stay focused my cho
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:11:40 +0000 UTCWas that the one where he also took some shits and bet on a dog
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:11:20 +0000 UTCThe world's favourite arline
Matthew Harris
2024-10-11 17:11:13 +0000 UTCTell me you don’t imagine this entire scenario every time you peer into the dining room at Cracker Barrel
Chris Onstad
2024-10-11 17:10:56 +0000 UTCI have never read a better description of bad sex. I can only assume the author is a connoisseur.
Josh Burton
2024-10-11 17:06:52 +0000 UTCThis reminds me of the end of that Bukowski novel where the guy goes to a striptease and realizes he can't get it up anymore
Tom Simmons
2024-10-11 17:05:30 +0000 UTCEven his successes are failures
Josh Egbert
2024-10-11 17:03:58 +0000 UTCRecipe?
Omnithea
2024-10-11 17:03:08 +0000 UTC
