0060 - Music Theory People
Added 2024-04-11 17:00:11 +0000 UTCOops! Posted this one a day early! My bad. Leaving it up.
(The blooper panels will still post Friday in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers, to still have something on that day, for everyone who likes a Friday treat.)
Music Theory People, even though ye here be lambasted (I always think music theory people consider themselves born in the wrong century, and really wish their underwear had lots of buttons up the sides), feel free to plug the song that Pat is listening to into your composition software, silence all the alarms and auto-corrects, and see how it sounds. If my calculations are right, it will sound like a room full of dentists, waiting to get their teeth cleaned (this will ultimately be deemed unnecessary) by a dentist. A perfect day, with perfect music. Or, it'll just be Lenore by Chick Corea, which is also great dentist-waitin' music.
Okay, okay. Look, I know that whether or not we get music theory, it's like physics – it makes sense as a way of operating within a particular space. And, like physics, it's kind of hard to get into, because schools teach us all the wrong things. Imagine if your neighbor kept bothering you by leaving his trash cans at the curb all week, but you both knew how to jam out on the bassoon, so you could just go into your yard and start tooting some bassoon notes that were accurate to your intentions, and pretty soon he'd come out with his bassoon, and you'd start jamming, and this would be an entrée to peaceful conflict resolution. School could have given us all this, if only they'd valued music theory over, say, the Boer Wars.
Comments
I don't worry about pentameter When I'm dropping panties off o' her All your weak-ass bars iambic Won't help you suck my hard dick Pat's a bitch, that's real shit *ASS-PAT!* Pat's a bitch, that's real shit *ASS-PAT!*
TheDoc-Worker
2024-06-30 09:47:39 +0000 UTCas someone who is listening to lenore by Chick Korea right now in order to know what she is talking about, I can verify this.
Ruxine
2024-05-01 08:54:43 +0000 UTCI am slayed!
Ben Westcott
2024-04-18 01:57:34 +0000 UTCTried a witty comeback but “I am slayed”
Matt Mitchell
2024-04-15 02:21:39 +0000 UTCAs the kids say - “you had me in the first half, not gonna lie”. Haha
Matt Mitchell
2024-04-15 02:20:41 +0000 UTCThis is a town where the Dudes are Dirty, and he's free again to remind everyone who's the most so
Don Rowe
2024-04-13 23:02:54 +0000 UTCListening to Lenore by Chick Korea sounds like a moderately spicier version of background music that might play in the menu system of a Nintendo Wii
Matt Thurston
2024-04-13 12:49:19 +0000 UTCThe need for trash can dispute resolution is why music was taught in the Quadrivium, but that knowledge was lost
Rockos Modern Satan
2024-04-13 11:51:52 +0000 UTCHey man, lets not drag the Boers into this.
Rex Mantooth
2024-04-13 06:37:37 +0000 UTCYou should know I'm kidding by the fact that i named dropped Ornette. He's a long-time heavy favorite. As far as sorcery goes, I have to give it to Cecil Taylor. The dude demanded that his audiences practice their listening prior to seeing hum live, then delivered a mass out-of-body experience to the entire audience.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-04-12 19:45:15 +0000 UTCI don't think this forum was intended as a place to argue about jazz but dogg Ornate Coleman is about as close as 20th century America got to having an actual sorcerer.
Nicholas Williams
2024-04-12 19:35:31 +0000 UTCOh is it
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-04-12 19:03:06 +0000 UTCI once heard a dog humping a theremin to the sound of somebody throwing a snare drum down a flight of steps followed by a couple of ride cymbals. It sounded like an Ornette Coleman record except there was some structure to it.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-04-12 17:15:29 +0000 UTCI am slayed.
Nicholas Williams
2024-04-12 16:48:34 +0000 UTCI used to think this way but then I heard “Journey in Satchidananda” and realized that I was wrong. Good jazz is the window to the cosmos inside us all. Jazz will slay you, as Pat slew Ray i.e. pleasurably.
Nicholas Williams
2024-04-12 16:48:03 +0000 UTChttps://groundzone.bandcamp.com/album/consume-red (this piece is almost one hour long and it slaps)
Jonathan
2024-04-12 15:43:44 +0000 UTCEqual temperaments are an unholy abomination. I want my music based on fractions.
Jonathan
2024-04-12 15:41:41 +0000 UTCPat has made worms' meat of Ray.
M. J.
2024-04-12 06:20:06 +0000 UTCAt least 3 of the top 5 comments are people writing about playing music from their favorite video game soundtracks, as though that's something to be telling anyone absent a court order.
Douglas Wykstra
2024-04-12 06:05:52 +0000 UTCPat plays “Form, Object, and Desire” by John Zorn when friends come over- for ambience.
souvlaki Alabama
2024-04-12 04:19:54 +0000 UTCAs a music theory people AND an asshole, I'm happy to see Pat win this one
juicehonky
2024-04-12 01:28:17 +0000 UTCPeople mind me leaving my trash cans at the curb?
Nathan Hall
2024-04-12 01:25:32 +0000 UTCI’m cool with the Kiddie Pool of music theory. I may die ignorant.
Cody Richmond
2024-04-12 01:15:06 +0000 UTCAlso, whenever I see your name on here I briefly think that you’re MySpace Tom
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 23:27:55 +0000 UTCJazz sounds like smart people farting in a library. This strip made me wish Little Nephew had walked in. Good to know that Pat keeps a scoreboard in his living room for when he breaks out poetry with rules.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-04-11 21:49:25 +0000 UTCPat fucks with that twelve tone shit.
Nicholas Williams
2024-04-11 20:36:55 +0000 UTCthis is the truest take - you learn the rules so you know how to effectively sidestep or break them with grace
Sebastian
2024-04-11 19:32:47 +0000 UTCif the party isn't microtonal I don't want to go
Sebastian
2024-04-11 19:29:31 +0000 UTCRay really thought he could throw down with the guy who coined "spit-once-and-fuck Romeo"
Ste & Danni JM
2024-04-11 19:23:44 +0000 UTCWait until you find out about Xenharmonic Music People
Jonathan
2024-04-11 19:21:51 +0000 UTCRay, we JUST had a storyline about how Pat had a natural talent to smoke fools with his words. You gambled with sticking your hand into the embers and a fire stirred up.
Benton Sartore
2024-04-11 19:04:45 +0000 UTCWELL ACTUALLY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr3quGh7pJA
Mark
2024-04-11 19:04:33 +0000 UTCLyle dead asleep in his circle of fifths, newly emptied.
b.zap
2024-04-11 19:02:40 +0000 UTCWhat hashtag a key is in or what key a hashtag is in? Does the commutative property attach? Am I that bald now?
Zachary
2024-04-11 18:05:44 +0000 UTCAm shooketh at both Pat's heretofore hidden lyrical depths and the notion of communicating via bassoon.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-04-11 17:47:28 +0000 UTCNever forget Pat can throw down language-style with the best of them, Ray.
Elyse
2024-04-11 17:43:45 +0000 UTCI thought for sure Ray was going to deeply injure himself when he busted that last move. He must be stretching or doing some kind of incredibly overpriced yoga.
C C
2024-04-11 17:39:45 +0000 UTCAlso - a friend of mine studied w Steve Gadd (Lenore drummer) back in the 90s, and he played Gadd’s Lenore part for him in their lesson. Gadd asked him to play it again, then claimed to have no memory of having done it.
Matt Mitchell
2024-04-11 17:39:43 +0000 UTCthat's some rough scansion pat
Hannah Flaherty
2024-04-11 17:27:51 +0000 UTCI know man I’m sorry. I delayed the blooper panels until tomorrow so there’s still something
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:26:50 +0000 UTCYou and me both
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:26:25 +0000 UTCWhat this man said
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:26:13 +0000 UTCIt’s a quantum signature, schrodinger’s flat
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:25:54 +0000 UTCIt would have 475 more words
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:25:17 +0000 UTCI don't get it, but it seems funny. Is this the XKCD patreon?
Tom PM
2024-04-11 17:24:29 +0000 UTCAlso a key signature with TWO f-flats and one of them having a natural sign before it! That’s way out.
Matt Mitchell
2024-04-11 17:23:14 +0000 UTCHell of interesting explanation, I appreciate this
Bungus Bronbo
2024-04-11 17:22:39 +0000 UTCOkay, busting out Chick Corea now.
Nicholas Vining
2024-04-11 17:21:06 +0000 UTCI actually really needed this today, thx
John Krane
2024-04-11 17:15:26 +0000 UTCAs a professional avant garde jazz musician (seriously), w two long-ago degrees and who tested out of most of his music theory requirements, I find this deeply hilarious. And color me impressed re the Lenore reference.
Matt Mitchell
2024-04-11 17:14:40 +0000 UTCThis fucked up next week because now I gotta go eight days without achewood but it's cool beyond that
Bungus Bronbo
2024-04-11 17:13:39 +0000 UTCSpitting Iambic pentameter beats limerick anytime.
Marc Harkness
2024-04-11 17:13:32 +0000 UTCthe problem is that the chunkity nerds got their hands on the music theory. you better believe miles davis and john coltrane and our good friend Nightlife Mingus knew their shit. music theory is just grammar lessons. it's meant to help you analyze music, but is only somewhat useful for writing it. if someone came to you hyping how they're a grammar expert, you know their poems are about to be trash
David Kettler
2024-04-11 17:12:00 +0000 UTCWhat am I supposed to look forward to Friday for now
Matthew Harris
2024-04-11 17:11:56 +0000 UTCPat is listening to a Morton Feldman record
Alex Woods
2024-04-11 17:10:37 +0000 UTCYou have said the actual truth
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-04-11 17:10:04 +0000 UTCYou made me panic about what day it is!
Shawn Warren
2024-04-11 17:09:55 +0000 UTCWHOOPS set this one to post a day too early. Leaving it up. Hopefully this doesn’t fuck your week too hard everybody
Chris Onstad
2024-04-11 17:09:13 +0000 UTCGreat to see the (good kind of) fire back in Pat's belly
EndgamerAzari
2024-04-11 17:07:15 +0000 UTCwell it took 23 years but ray finally learned a second dance move
Bungus Bronbo
2024-04-11 17:04:53 +0000 UTCI wasn't aware of Prince's origin story but that makes a lot of sense to me
Josh Egbert
2024-04-11 17:04:22 +0000 UTC
