0049 - The Account, Pt. 8, 2-PAGE FINALE
Added 2024-02-02 18:00:12 +0000 UTCThat's right, this one's two pages long. Don't forget to read the second page, because that is where the finale is. If you just read the first page, it will seem like a pretty bad finale, or at least the kind of anti-finale that has been popular in Hollywood lately, ever since writers' parents stopped reading them Agatha Christie as infants.
EXCELSIOR
FINALE FINÁLE FINĀLE
Comments
Kid Chameleon could become a tank, but KC was never a Nintendo title. It's possible the doctor is mixing up the older consoles but I think the Master Blaster tank makes more sense. Though I was stuck on the tank from Ikari Warriors, the one that could be TWO tanks if you and a friend executed the secret maneuver of entering the command to enter the tank at the same time.
Brandon Rahhal
2024-02-19 15:00:52 +0000 UTCWho's more legit? The loser or the loser who got fired from a job where his sole duty was to be a loser? Two souls chasin' each other down the same drain, dude.
Distant Egg Song
2024-02-09 19:14:59 +0000 UTCPretty sure T's phone wallpaper is Ian Curtis. Of course. My brain is fizzling trying to remember if I saw that in a previous comic. Also, holy shit.
Andrew Reynolds
2024-02-09 18:39:44 +0000 UTCNice observation!
A Thousand Nialls.
2024-02-07 15:12:48 +0000 UTCTo add insult to injury, T ended up assigned to room 5.
Ismini Roller
2024-02-06 22:59:08 +0000 UTCIt's a good thing he's under observation because just following the story sure made *me* contemplate self-harm.
Toilet Cobra
2024-02-06 09:21:09 +0000 UTCI thought maybe Blaster Master? There's no drug on earth that could make you feel like BATTLETANX, though.
Duncan
2024-02-05 10:30:50 +0000 UTCAt first I thought the same - that Tina was real (but really hustling Teo with her fake "Agentce"), but Elon was fake, a post-head-bonk hallucination. But someone else pointed out that, if Elon's call was hallucinated, how did Teo's phone service get restored enough to get the "You're fired!" text from Tina? So I think it all actually happened to Teodor, but he's such a fuck-up at narrating what happened to him to Ray - and Elon's proposition is so far-fetched - that from Ray's/Doc's perspective, it just looks like Teodor's got psychosis / grandiose delusions.
2scrogz
2024-02-05 07:26:38 +0000 UTC"Late with the rent? Narrative arc gets bent!" -Onstad, apparently
2scrogz
2024-02-05 07:15:47 +0000 UTCWe got that non-Teodor POV scene of Tina trying and failing to get Lunch Lord's business so I'm assuming she was just using the empty marketing office to hustle Teodor until Ray and Andretti accidentally gaslit him
jacob moore
2024-02-05 04:08:00 +0000 UTCHe noticed that ain't like Teodor because he pays attention
Brian Horstead
2024-02-05 02:55:20 +0000 UTCI don't love Teo the way some people do, but harming him in this way is making me angry. Why wouldn't they try him on a little atypical, a little antidepressant? He's not harming himself or anyone else; why do they have him in a seclusion room? It's not okay.
ladiesbane
2024-02-05 00:16:45 +0000 UTCOh no
Charles Wheeler
2024-02-04 10:32:03 +0000 UTCMaster Blaster? Tank jumps around.
Omnithea
2024-02-04 01:46:52 +0000 UTCI of course thought of Kid Chameleon* , here's how chatGPT described: "It sounds like you're describing "Kid Chameleon," an old SEGA Genesis game released in 1992. In "Kid Chameleon," you play as a kid with the ability to change into different forms by putting on different helmets. Each form has its own abilities, and one of these forms is indeed a tank, among others like a knight, a samurai, and a maniaxe. The game is well-remembered for its challenging levels and the variety of power-ups and transformations available to the player. It's a classic 2D platformer that was quite innovative for its time due to the sheer variety of gameplay mechanics introduced through the different character transformations." *ok fine I didn't actually remember what it was called but still close enough for the robots to figure it out
Tom
2024-02-04 01:34:18 +0000 UTCWhat is the “one tank from Nintendo” - I gotta know the specific tank
Nicole Lyden
2024-02-04 00:43:45 +0000 UTCunbearable. I see what you did there.
John Ashton
2024-02-03 18:06:52 +0000 UTCOuch. Definitely how my first year out of university worked, economically (Happier times have visited since).
John Ashton
2024-02-03 18:03:57 +0000 UTCbroken ankle ain't like Teodor
Guilherme Töws
2024-02-03 12:14:20 +0000 UTCIt happened to me IRL.
Tom PM
2024-02-03 11:20:05 +0000 UTCT: "I have a broken ankle" Ray: "Hop in" In darkest times, Ray will still be Ray.
A. Christopher
2024-02-03 10:49:57 +0000 UTCThe re-read on this is really satisfying. All the Tina stuff just clicks.
AzureSP
2024-02-03 04:08:52 +0000 UTCscrew pat
E Corcoran
2024-02-03 04:01:08 +0000 UTCthe quality of her commodore makes up for it
E Corcoran
2024-02-03 03:59:47 +0000 UTCthose were beautiful moments
E Corcoran
2024-02-03 03:57:18 +0000 UTCLyle was right? Lyle was right.
Matt Thurston
2024-02-03 03:05:00 +0000 UTCCongratulations Jesus Christ. You are our horrified expression of the week.
GruntyGinMan
2024-02-03 02:21:35 +0000 UTCAnyway, it looks like Teodor doesn't have to worry about housing in the immediate term.
Oppido
2024-02-03 02:04:01 +0000 UTCWhat’s the point of bringing something into the world if you can’t torment it endlessly- god, probably
Chris Ressler
2024-02-03 00:24:58 +0000 UTCIt's like achewood poirot
Alex Ruppel
2024-02-02 23:58:29 +0000 UTCI guess it just doesn't matter if it was a hallucination brought on by Beep or a sad piece of his reality, he was always going to get fucked. There are some people who seem to have every opportunity and resource to succeed yet every decision they make is the wrong one. Life will always make sure Teodor is fucked every which way.
C C
2024-02-02 23:43:00 +0000 UTCSo Tina was squatting in the empty offices and using Teodor to get herself free meals.
Meadow Green
2024-02-02 23:18:58 +0000 UTCI bet T was not actually hallucinating. I don't think he beeped. The truth will come out! *screams*
Jenn
2024-02-02 22:56:48 +0000 UTCIt's too bleak
Jenn
2024-02-02 22:53:24 +0000 UTCChalk my opinion up as: not a dream, but T brought it on himself, and Ray and Dr Andretti are responding rationally.
KTB
2024-02-02 22:45:25 +0000 UTCI mean quite rightly. Ray might have assumed this was a scam on Tina’s part if T hadn’t been so naïve that he overlooked obvious details (the agency being constantly empty, no talk of money, the clients being bottom-barrel takeout joints) and failed to relay those details to Ray. And then T tells him about the Elon call, and the Elon call probably is a delusion caused by his pretty bad fall and presumed concussion. Either that, or it’s an absurdity of Achewood, but either way it puts T’s story into a place where it fits more closely to drug trip than reality.
KTB
2024-02-02 22:43:26 +0000 UTCMy theory is that Teodor is a vessel for all of the parts of Onstad that he is unhappy with. Who amongst us has not daydreamed up a special hell for our own lesser demons?
Ben Wilinofsky
2024-02-02 21:50:08 +0000 UTCSomeone pointed out below that maybe it WASN'T all just a dream, and that T was just richly screwed from every direction, including by a clueless Ray. I hope this is the case and that I was wrong! It'd be both bleaker and much funnier this way.
Oppido
2024-02-02 21:46:09 +0000 UTCmy god that's some Requiem For A Dream shit right there
Sedric And Charlie
2024-02-02 21:42:52 +0000 UTCBleak, Onstad, bleak.
Funkulus
2024-02-02 21:33:07 +0000 UTCNah not like this. Not like this
Tom PM
2024-02-02 21:18:10 +0000 UTCDoc Andretti fuckin' comin' for Tina in his own gentle way.
Nicholas Williams
2024-02-02 20:46:58 +0000 UTCAll MBAs are like that. Having one isn't correlated with anything other than shafting employee wages. Capitalism is a hell of a drug
RJ Carmine
2024-02-02 20:25:07 +0000 UTCWoo I am NOT afraid to take in the world Smash Bros champ now!
GruntyGinMan
2024-02-02 20:03:37 +0000 UTCReality has three options here and they're all sad. The end! No moral.
Guilherme Töws
2024-02-02 19:45:51 +0000 UTCWhat could be more of a Loser Move than to tell your friend about the situation & they have you put on a 72 hour hold? Elon chose well.
Josh Egbert
2024-02-02 19:35:49 +0000 UTC"I'll tell a person to get him"
Andrew Springer
2024-02-02 19:35:24 +0000 UTC99% sure the joke is that T's fall from grace was so outrageous that Ray and Dr. Andretti assume it was a drug trip, yeah.
K. Unknown
2024-02-02 19:33:39 +0000 UTCThanks! Holy shit.
blair
2024-02-02 19:26:19 +0000 UTCEXCELSIOR!
Walter Cooke
2024-02-02 19:25:04 +0000 UTCI'm starting to think that at some point, a bear was a cock to Onstad and did not wage peace.
Oppido
2024-02-02 19:18:52 +0000 UTCim assuming ts not being an unreliable narrator here because the alternative is daaaark and far less funny than rays well meaning but lets face it dumb ass misunderstanding the entire situation
Zen Window
2024-02-02 19:18:40 +0000 UTCdamn chris what did teodor ever do to you
Bungus Bronbo
2024-02-02 19:16:38 +0000 UTCI’d give anything to have a doctor with the diagnostic skills of Dr. Andretti. My damn quack never heard of beep.
Omurice
2024-02-02 18:59:20 +0000 UTCI dunno man. I'm not a HUGE fan of "it was all a dream" endings, especially for storylines that I've spent two months getting invested in. That said, those final six panels are devastators, and this was at least a nice bit of character redemption for Ray, who I'm still a little peeved at for failing to even register Pat's post-Ron olive branch.
Oppido
2024-02-02 18:56:40 +0000 UTCthe turn I didn't expect but that we all deserved ( except maybe Téodor ).
Jordan Buck
2024-02-02 18:52:12 +0000 UTCHe does Pay Attention, after all
Jake McIntyre
2024-02-02 18:47:08 +0000 UTCThe chuckles get rougher! Damn.
Matt Mitchell
2024-02-02 18:45:34 +0000 UTCHaldol comes in a convenient, peanut butter cup form for comfort.
J.
2024-02-02 18:44:42 +0000 UTCCould be the phone itself was a hallucination too. I could see Andretti not wanting T to have his phone while he's in the detox tank.
Oppido
2024-02-02 18:43:33 +0000 UTCFrom: Tina Teodor, thank you for your time but it's not a fit. Your unpaid trial period is over.
Mark Redacted
2024-02-02 18:40:13 +0000 UTCSometimes the real stuff is fake too. Sometimes the fake stuff is real too.
Allan
2024-02-02 18:38:46 +0000 UTCThis goes hard.
Vincent Verweij
2024-02-02 18:30:33 +0000 UTCARGH WHAT IS REAL I have to go with Tina's text being part of the hallucination, and I will hear no more about it.
Jarret Cooper
2024-02-02 18:30:29 +0000 UTCYo, could someone who doesn't have the cataracts please relay Tina's message?
blair
2024-02-02 18:30:06 +0000 UTCThat strikes me as the hand of a benevolent Smuckles acting. A Ray-us Ex Machina, if you will (please don't).
John Robinson
2024-02-02 18:23:15 +0000 UTCDude Tina straight up SUCKS
Jared Rutledge
2024-02-02 18:22:56 +0000 UTC...the last time "comfort" took its turn was when Penny came back.
Matthew Harris
2024-02-02 18:22:02 +0000 UTCMy linoleum could be harder.
Rob Dalton
2024-02-02 18:21:37 +0000 UTCThe only thing I knew about this arc was that it was going to end with T in horrible pain but this still shattered my expectations
Alissa & Will Hattman
2024-02-02 18:20:36 +0000 UTCI imagine having to pick up the physical and mental pieces of Ray's adventures takes a toll on a man and his professional motivation.
EndgamerAzari
2024-02-02 18:19:29 +0000 UTCHurt/
Matthew Harris
2024-02-02 18:17:03 +0000 UTCI'm now really questioning all of Doc Andretti's diagnoses back over the years.
Marc Harkness
2024-02-02 18:16:23 +0000 UTCAnyone know where I can get some beep?
Josh Egbert
2024-02-02 18:16:06 +0000 UTCOnstad why you got to do a thing poor Teodor
Captain Chaos
2024-02-02 18:15:04 +0000 UTCFirst Winnie, now Teodor. It's unbearable.
b.zap
2024-02-02 18:14:42 +0000 UTCSince he got the text from Tina, his bill got paid somehow, though...
EndgamerAzari
2024-02-02 18:14:19 +0000 UTCThe tanks in Guerrilla War are a perfect allegory to being in Beep-State.
Brian Sutton
2024-02-02 18:13:56 +0000 UTCWe all knew this wasn't going to end well for T, but this goes so far beyond my expectations of humiliation and degradation that it feels like the time my karate instructor demonstrated a kick to the back of the knee on me (spiritually)
EndgamerAzari
2024-02-02 18:13:27 +0000 UTCThey just laid off 700 people at my company, but this time it didn't include me. Haldol is smooth and buttery compared to Thorozine, so Tedor gonna have a fine, but dull, time
J Hardy Carroll
2024-02-02 18:12:44 +0000 UTCSo Elon was just a hallucination? This comic has been so weird before pthat it didn't even occur to me that he wouldn't be real.
Joseph E.
2024-02-02 18:11:05 +0000 UTCAlso: Onstad WTF what did Teodor ever do to you
bootblacking
2024-02-02 18:09:53 +0000 UTCWe're all weak chinese linoleum if you think about it. fragile.
Linus Lee
2024-02-02 18:09:38 +0000 UTCSometimes I worry that every T moment we've been seeing is a hallucination from during the van times with Nice Pete and that old dude with the schlong
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-02-02 18:08:45 +0000 UTCNot wanting to relate to Teodor is the essence of being like Teodor.
Daniel Grieff
2024-02-02 18:08:08 +0000 UTCI have to know which tank from nintendo beep makes the kids feel like.
BenSlaveryisGood
2024-02-02 18:08:04 +0000 UTCDon't you ever want to put on a great big T-shirt and cry
bootblacking
2024-02-02 18:07:42 +0000 UTCThat’s a fynailee huh
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-02-02 18:07:05 +0000 UTCBeep; not even once
Anthony Thompson
2024-02-02 18:07:04 +0000 UTCOh no, Haldol. Never good news when you have to have Haldol on hand. Rough chuckles my guy.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-02-02 18:06:18 +0000 UTCI would like to feel like that one tank in Nintendo, tho
Spyguitar
2024-02-02 18:06:11 +0000 UTCRay's "Ok. Aight. Sucks" face/phrase combo is so good
Lynsey McCoskey
2024-02-02 18:06:04 +0000 UTCDoc Andretti has got no mercy
Derek Adams
2024-02-02 18:05:38 +0000 UTCFucking hell. I also read this about an hour after finding out I didn't get a job I was really after, so that message from Tina, double damn.
Benton Sartore
2024-02-02 18:05:26 +0000 UTCBeep is a hell of a drug.
Shawn Clark
2024-02-02 18:04:44 +0000 UTCJesus christ
Ben Wissett
2024-02-02 18:03:34 +0000 UTC
