Fudge By the Gullet-Charge
Added 2023-07-30 15:23:52 +0000 UTCWhen the exalted Scottish poet Robbie Burns lamented man’s inhumanity to man, he may have been referring to the tourist attractions in the Wisconsin Dells. Between the towering walls of souvenir t-shirts which celebrate a lazy, hostile, and deeply tacky brand of selfishness, to duck boat tours whose eighty-year-old diesel engines inexplicably exhaust out of the nose of the vehicle and into everyone’s faces for an hour, I ultimately found myself craving a fresh apple and the oblivion of a book about snakes.*
Many and sharp the num’rous ills, / Inwoven with our frame! / More pointed still we make ourselves, / Regret, Remorse, and Shame!
We depart now for German Fest in downtown Milwaukee, breakfasting on garlic-dill curds and great thermoses of hot Coca-Cola. The sun is not yet risen.
* Roald Dahl, Going Solo
Comments
Where have you gone, Tommy Bartlett? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
M. J.
2023-08-19 04:20:13 +0000 UTCThe Dells didn't used to be like that. I mean, it was kinda like that in my memory which only goes back to 1978. IMO you get better oooh and ahhh value at Cave of the Mounds.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2023-08-03 19:22:34 +0000 UTCGoing Solo isn’t just about snakes, there’s racism too.
Doctor Link
2023-07-31 06:19:04 +0000 UTCThe great mysterious upper midwest where the once-intrepid "Oregon or Bust" crowd looked around and said "Welp, this is fine" before unpacking the wagons and building hardware stores.
J Hardy Carroll
2023-07-30 20:14:03 +0000 UTCIf you crave more of the touristy but fun, I can recommend the Safe House in Milwaukee. There I made friends with a man who sold drugs and porn, and what a time we had.
Brian
2023-07-30 18:00:02 +0000 UTCon the one hand, morbidly curious what that trump-in-the-box would do were you to put money in it. on the other, not particularly enthused about handing over money to whoever would operate such a contraption.
professor husband
2023-07-30 15:36:02 +0000 UTC
