Exclusive - "Fooled" - Part 1

Her male partner in crime chooses an unusual type of safe house and disguise for them both as a Daddy and his baby girl. – Sarah

ONE

America’s Best Value Inn, Elizabethtown, Kentucky 

“I look amazing.” The little girl looks at herself in the mirror as she says the words, but it’s her partner Dave that she’s talking to. Partner? Partner in crime. The girl frowns as she fusses with her hair. “I need a hairbrush…” And then she grins. “But I look amazing!”

Dave partner looks on from their king-size bed. “You wanted the best disguise. This is it.” He chuckles. “Foolproof.” He gets up, walks over to Anne. “You’re going to fall off and break your neck if you’re not careful.” He lifts her off the chair she stood on to look in the mirror. 

Anne squirms in his arms. “Get off! This is not…cool!” Her protests are replaced by a shriek when Dave throws her onto the bed. She glares up at him, red-faced and furious. “What’s the big idea? You know I don’t like being touched.” She picks at the sleeves of her one-piece footed pajamas. 

Dave sits back down beside her. “Don’t want you hurting yourself. Last thing we need is a trip to the hospital. Keeping our heads down, remember?”

“Of course I remember.” Although she had wondered, getting into this, if her mind would shrink to match her body. What if that was Dave’s plan? They have always trusted each other – you have to, in their business – but still, it was a leap of faith to agree to this in the first place.

A leap of faith, and an insurance policy. She smiles thinly. If her head did turn into babyish mush, then they’d both be screwed. She’s the only one with the account password. 

“How old am I, anyway? Do you even know?” She pokes suspiciously at the bulge around her waist. “Definitely younger than I agreed.”

“Your pajamas say 4T on the label.” He reaches for her again, picks her up as if she’s nothing. 

She cries out. “You have to stop doing that!” 

“Relax. Reckon you weigh around 35 pounds.” He puts her gently back down and then taps at his phone. “Yeah, 4T means 4 years old.”

Anne gives her padded underwear another poke. “If I’m four, I don’t need a diaper.”

Dave grunts. “Says you.” He lies down beside his business partner and pats the comforter. “Last thing I wanted last night was pee-soaked sheets. Hey, they should be serving breakfast. Let’s go down, I’m starving.”

Anne makes a whining sound in the back of her throat. “You have to get the details right. You have to look as though you know what the hell you’re doing.” She sighs. “You’re supposed to be the dad, right?” 

Another grunt from Dave. 

“Well?”

“Dad, yeah.” He laughs. “Proud parent, you got me wrapped around your finger, all that.”

“Right, so it’s not the perfect disguise if you’re clueless about kids.”

“It’s just a diaper, jeez.” He pokes her belly. “You’re lucky you got those pajamas, I picked them up in Walmart and nailed the size.” He looks her up and down. “You look pretty darn cute, by the way.”

In spite of everything, Anne blushes. She fusses with her light blond hair. “I’m a mess.” She frowns. “When were you in Walmart?”

“Last night when you were out for the count.”

Anne climbs on top of Dave’s chest. “Let me get this straight. You drug me without permission, and then you leave me lying there and pop out to Walmart for a few things.”

She glances over at the Keurig machine that sits above the minifridge. A cup of Green Mountain Coffee Hazelnut had turned her into a little girl. What did she remember from last night? A coffee cup spilled, and then lying on the bed as the ceiling spun above her. At first, she panicked, before she found the whole situation hilarious. She remembered Dave holding her hand, her incredible shrinking hand, and talking to her in words that seemed to be a foreign language. 

No that was the drugs at work. Dave doesn’t know any other languages. 

Anne looks down at him. “You let your four-year-old alone in a hotel room. You just sauntered off for a shopping trip. This is the kind of crap people call social services about. Or the goddamn cops!”

Dave gives an exasperated sigh. “No one’s calling anyone. We agreed you would be regressed. And what, you think I should just let you run around naked? You needed something to wear!”

“We agreed today, not yesterday.”

“Toby wanted to move it up by 24 hours. Don’t you want to get away from here, start your new life?”

“I don’t the plan to work. I don’t want a mess. She looks down at her outfit. There’s a zipper that runs from chin to ankle. She should just unzip herself, but how would that be any better? “And when do you ever see me wearing pink?”

Dave laughs. “

“What does it matter? You’re just a bay…little kid, this isn’t a fashion show.” He smiles at her. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast. You probably just need some food inside you.”

Anne pushes off Dave’s chest and slides off the bed. “What else did you get me?” She wanders around the hotel room until she finds a Walmart bag. She looks inside and says, “Really? That’s it?”

Dave huffs. “Turns out you can’t just buy a couple diapers, I had to get that big pack. And it’s only for five days.”

Anne looks down at herself. “You want me to wear the same thing for five days?” She frowns. “Come on, Dave, did you even get me a toothbrush?”

He shrugs apologetically. “Wasn’t sure you’d have any teeth.”

“I’m...not…a baby.” She bares her teeth to prove the point. 

“You don’t even have a hairbrush do you.” She goes into the bathroom. 

“Hey,” Dave calls after her. “Meant to say, I- “

“Where’s my stuff!”

“Don’t…. that’s too loud. Look, I had to get rid of your things. You have to vanish, remember, that’s the whole point. That’s how we get away with it.” He waits until Anne reappears and then says, “It’s all going to work out. We just hang out at the hotel, and then when Toby’s got our papers together, we get on a plane, you zip through security no questions asked, and then we get to Switzerland, the doctor turns you back, and we’re free and clear.”

She purses her lips. But really, what is she going to do? 

“You’re a very pretty little girl.” Dave winks at her. “Look, I’m sorry about the diapers, I’m sorry I didn’t get you more clothes. We’ll work it all out.” 

The four-year-old folds her arms. “You don’t know much about kids.” She pokes his chest with a finger. “I’m going to have to teach you, and you’re going to have to listen.”

“Sure,” says Dave. He offers his hand. “After breakfast.”

Anne sighs. “Fine.” She looks down at herself. “I am hungry.” She looks back at Dave. “But after breakfast, back to Walmart. Clothes, hairbrush…kids aren’t cheap.”

Dave laughs. “Sounds like it.” They walk away from the bed. “Oh,” says Dave, stopping by the Walmart bag. 

Anne pulls away from him and produces a high-pitched growl. “Leave the goddamn diapers, I don’t need the one I’m wearing, and I won’t need those ones either.”

“There’s something I forgot to give you,” says Dave. He rummages in the bag.

“Don’t tell me,” says Anne. “If it’s a goddamn pacifier, I’ll- “

She stares at the plush toy Dave hands her. A deer, just as pink and fuzzy as Anne’s onesie. 

Dave looks at her with an uncertain expression. “Is it okay? Do four-year olds like this kinda stuff?”

Anne is about to say No, not a chance, but that wouldn’t be true. Besides, it feels nice to hold the toy. It really is the softest thing. She curls her arm around the soft toy and holds it against her chest. “This is ridiculous,” she says softly. 

“Suits you,” Dave says. “A little girl in her pink pajamas, with her pink toy. You really do look adorable.”

“Stuffie,” corrects Anne, her cheeks reddening with the compliment. She lowers her head and lets the deer’s pink softness brush against her cheek. And then she giggles. No one will stop her, no one will suspect her. It really is the perfect disguise.