Blog: Let's Talk About Bad Days

Ok. Let's talk about Bad Days. Because I just had one of the worst weeks in my life. I don't talk about my personal life much because I like to keep things to myself. But I think we all agree there are days we want to share our frustrations and stress.

Well here goes. There are three things that occurred this week that completely threw me off guard, they are Army, Civilian Job and family, all within the same time period.

If one bad thing happens, I can brush it off. If two bad things happen, I can maintain it while getting frustrated. But when three bad things happen, that's when I really need some time to cool off.

Let's start with Army!

Army

Alright. So, this one is completely on me. For those of you familiar with me, I am in the Army National Guard. I go to training weekends known as drills/Muta once a month. I was originally going to hang out with friends this weekend and relax, except my drill is actually this weekend. I did not find out about it until someone text me "Should I turn in this assignment to you this weekend during drill?" So, I double check my computer, and no shit, it's this weekend. For the entire time, I thought it was next week.

So, it hit me like a stack of bricks. You know that feeling that you are supposed to take a vacation and all of a sudden you found out you got work. Yeah, it sucked. I felt like shit for a day scrambling to get my gear and plans together.

While arrived at drill, I got rained on like crazy. Soaked down from outside to inside. It sucks!

I experienced frustration and self-blame

Civilian Job

Well. I also fucked up at my civilian job. Long story short, a finance issue. I got in trouble for it. I won't lose my job. But got a pretty serious warning. I found this out 10 minutes before I arrived at my drill after 2 hours of drive. I couldn't sleep well, because I have to have a meeting with my team on Monday to address this. It's not a fun feeling. Guess what, we all make mistakes in our lives.

I experienced shame and disappointment

Family Life

I have an aunt who is in hospice. We were told that her health is rapidly declining. I am on standby for a funeral. This is while I am 2 hours away from home trying to put on a strong face to train soldiers while at a low point inside.

I experienced hopelessness and depression

The feeling of anxiety, fear, sadness, worry, and anger all hit you at once. I always say things will buff out. But this is eating me inside and out. I always tell people if you are sad, frustrated, and needs help, talk to someone, get help. So, I have reached out to my friends to talk to them.

Writing this blog makes me feel great already, because I know there are people out there to support me. Through difficult times, we must overcome adversities. Despite my own problems, I still want to say, whatever is going on in your life, don't give up.

It is part of the human experience. It has its highs and lows. What makes us human, is that in the end we don't give up. We fight, we stand up against the storm, and we say, not today. Today is not the day we lay down and give up. Today is the day we stand against the storm and say fuck you! You are not going to bring me down!

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Remember that.

I needed to get that off my chest. It's been a rough week. I'm glad I have you all following me to hear my rant. Usually, it's the other way around. I know I said I was not going to make bots. But I want to channel that energy into something. Who knows, you might see a bot today.

We say FUCK YOU to life. EMBRACE THE SUCK!

Sincerely

Burrito Queen