Tier 3+ - Accidental Champion (Book 8) - Chapter 11 - It Had to Be Done

Xavier didn’t know how long he spent travelling from one world to the next. Over ten billion worlds… It had been something close to impossible for him to imagine before.

Now, he was familiar with each and every single one.

Despite how swiftly Xavier moved, he knew what he’d just done must have taken many decades…

No, many hundreds of years…

Time really had no meaning to him anymore.

He could do the math. Could look at his status screen and see the new age that it put him at. But that was not on his mind.

In the time since he had killed The Collector to now, Xavier had caused the deaths of more beings than he ever had before coming to the Ventorin sector. Both indirectly with The Collector’s contracts being broken, and directly with the justice he’d handed out at the end of his scythe.

Xavier didn’t know how to digest these things. All he’d done was act.

That weight of responsibility became heavier and heavier the more blood his scythe produced.

Taking over the Ventorin sector, creating these laws on so many worlds—he didn’t know the toll it would take.

All he saw were injustices. All he saw were evil people performing evil deeds. And he was the reaper, come to take what was due. The thoughts that ran through his mind as the time passed and the death toll rose and rose and rose…

The naivety, the idealism in his heart…

It was all so challenged by every moment, every kill, every evil.

How… How could he ever imagine that the universe could become united when so many people were capable of so many terrible things? And how could he ever imagine that he would be the one to unite it when he himself was capable of producing so much death?

These thoughts ran through his mind over and over again. As a Denizen, Xavier had a perfect memory, and he could remember the faces of every single Denizen he killed. Even if he couldn’t remember them, they were being recorded by the Observation Crystal that had been his constant companion for so long.

These doubts were not the only thing that ran through his mind, however. There were other things, too. Things that were the complete opposite of these doubts. Somehow each time he swung his scythe he became equally less sure and more sure of his goal.

He knew, for a fact, that he was doing the right thing.

It would be naïve for him to think that in the united universe he envisioned such acts of evil would not happen, but he was surer than he’d ever been that such acts would happen less, for he knew that even though they happened on all ten billion worlds, they happened far less than they had been happening before his announcement.

When Xavier Collins performed what he hoped would be his final act of justice for a good long while and returned to the grand throne room that had many years ago to his own mind been home to The Collector, he was not covered in the blood of all those he had killed. Not a speck of it remained on his pristine blade nor on the black robes he’d transformed his armour into. But the weight of what he’d done was obvious to Denizens loyal to him.

He could see it in their eyes.

Palini walked up to him and hesitated before placing a hand on his shoulder. No words were exchanged along with that touch. He simply looked into Xavier’s eyes and gave a slight nod, a nod Xavier returned.

Silence fell over the room. A silence that no one but Xavier could break. Time passed—a minute, an hour, a day, he wasn’t sure—then he cleared his throat and spoke for the first time in many, many years.

“Elivi, it’s time. Start the broadcast.”

Elivi blinked. Her head had been down. She raised it now and looked at Xavier. “It will take a little while to get it ready.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Xavier stood there, not sure what to do. His heart felt a billion times heavier. He’d never known, not truly, what it would mean to rule a sector—an entire galaxy of inhabited planets—never known what the toll of that many lives being his responsibility would have on him. Honestly, he still wasn’t sure what toll it took on him.

There was so much for him to process.

And what right did he have to execute so many, no matter what they’d done? The more he stood there, no longer acting, simply waiting, the more the demons in his mind got a chance to get to work.

“Come with me,” Palini said. He nodded over at a large, standing stone beside the old broken throne. “I think you need a stiff drink.”

The standing stone was, of course, the entrance to the Roving Seed Base. He had left the Roving Seed Base here for the others, knowing his work would take him… A long time. It was only fair that he had somewhere to take respite while he was gone.

Xavier nodded numbly as the B Grade led him toward the stone. They each laid a hand on it and were instantly transported inside. There was no wind here. There rarely ever was, as whenever he used the Roving Seed Base it was usually within a time dilation field. And currently, even if it wasn’t in a time dilation field, it was inside the throne room.

He stood at the edge of the base, looking at the grass. The lack of wind usually didn’t bother him, but this stillness was getting on his nerves. He cast Wind Manipulation and made the blades of grass sway slightly this way and that.

“Come on.” Palini walked straight for the large hall that housed many things, chief among them a tavern.

Xavier followed, his gaze turning to the grass, though barely seeing it at all.

“Sit.” Palini stepped around the bar as Xavier sat at one of the stools. The man poured something dark into a glass and slid it over to him along the wood. “Drink.”

Xavier looked down at the dark liquid. The alcohol had a strong, sharpness he could smell. “I don’t really drink alcohol,” he said, then took a sip anyway. “That burns.” He frowned at Palini. “Why did you bring me here?”

Palini poured his own drink then leant against the bar across from him, looking for all intents and purposes like a barkeep. “What you’ve done…”

“It had to be done,” Xavier responded swiftly and mechanically.

“Indeed,” Palini said slowly. “I wasn’t about to argue that. But—”

Xavier was ready to interrupt when Palini raised a hand.

“Let me speak, will you?”

Xavier took another sip of his drink and nodded at the man.

“What you’ve done was necessary. Of course it was. I have long been someone who worked toward justice. On more than one occasion, I’ve had to deal it out myself. I know you’ve been in many battles. I know you’ve done much in your time as a Denizen… But this was different. Executions, killing those so beneath your power… It takes a different sort of toll on the mind.” He tilted his head. “Takes a different sort of toll on the soul, too.”

Xavier held the drink in both hands, the glass cold on his fingers. The condensation made his skin wet. “Billions of people, Palini. I killed… so many.”

“You didn’t have to do it alone.”

Xavier stared at the man, a hint of anger in his eyes. “I couldn’t order such a thing to be done. I couldn’t share a burden as heavy as that.”

Palini paused for a long moment. Nodded slowly. “You bear it so we don’t have to. I understand.” He tilted his head to the side. “You did the right thing.”

Xavier sipped his drink. “I thought so.” He downed the rest of the dark liquid in one long pull, then slid it back to Palini and nodded at the bottle. Another was poured. “Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Those people were all guilty of terrible things,” Palini said. “If you did not do what you did, they would only have spread more pain, more death. You saved lives.”

“They were only what they were because of the environment they lived in.”

Xavier didn’t know why he was arguing with Palini. He’d had all these same arguments in his mind a million times over. None of them had ever stopped him from doing what needed to be done.

Still, he couldn’t help but speak. Vent. Argue. He had been silent for so long with only his own mind for company, dealing death wherever he went. It felt good to talk, despite how he felt about what they talked about.

“That’s irrelevant,” Palini said.

Xavier snapped his gaze to the man. “Irrelevant? You don’t believe evil can be made?”

Palini waved a hand. “Of course it can be made. But regardless of what someone has been through. Regardless of how it has affected them. It doesn’t matter. Not when it comes to the things they did. Each and every one of us, no matter what we’ve suffered, is still responsible for our own actions. I will not countenance someone’s undue suffering or death, no matter the perpetrator’s reasons. And neither would you, else you wouldn’t be here in the first place. The Collector. What terrible things did he endure to become such a person? That didn’t free him from responsibility, did it? What pains have you endured, for that matter? What agonies? Yet here you stand. A force for good.”

“What if these people could have been changed?” Xavier asked.

“Again, irrelevant.” Palini downed the rest of his own drink. Poured himself another, allowing the silence to stretch. “You put forth the consequences of their actions. They all heard it. Even if they didn’t, the things they did… Why should they deserve a second chance? Why should they deserve to be changed, hmm? You gave them a true death. You could have done it differently. Are you truly saying you regret your actions? That you would reserve them, had you the ability?”

The young dragonkin shut his eyes and looked into his own heart, though he didn’t need to. He already had his answer at hand. “I wouldn’t change a single stroke of my scythe. I wouldn’t bring back a single soul. Death was what they deserved. Perhaps some deserved more. But no. I wouldn’t change it. I don’t regret it for a second.”

“Yet you say you aren’t sure if it was right?”

Xavier opened his eyes, looked at Palini. “Oh, it had to be done. It was necessary. And it won’t be the last time it’s necessary.” He lowered his head. “I will have to purge other sectors. Many sectors. Yes, it has to be done if we’re to achieve what we must. And I won’t put such a responsibility in the hands of another, no matter how much mine become bloodied…

“But… It isn’t right. It might be just, but that doesn’t make it right. Doesn’t make it okay. I don’t regret what I’ve done, as I’ve said, but I don’t think that absolves me.” He scoffed. “If anything, it makes me more guilty. For I should regret that many deaths, shouldn’t I? Deaths at my hand?”

Palini came around to sit on the stool beside Xavier and didn’t respond for a long while. Eventually, he released a long sigh. “This. This is another reason I’m glad I chose to follow you.”

Xavier laughed, baffled by the man’s response. “You see a man sitting and drinking, battling with his own thoughts, talking of having just killed billions of people with no regrets, and you think, ‘Yes, good job I did, following this guy.’”

Palini chuckled, though there was little humour in it. “Yes, actually.” He turned in his stool, facing him full on. “You walk a hard path, perhaps the hardest path there has ever been. You walk it because you want to help people. You take charge. Do what is necessary. You wield tremendous power, and this is only the beginning of your journey.” He shook his head. “Yet you don’t think you are perfect. You don’t purport to have all the answers. You don’t believe yourself to be a paragon of good. You freely admit to your many, many flaws.” He said these last words with a wink. “Do you know how rare that is in a leader? Hell, do you know how rare that is in anyone?”

Xavier didn’t respond. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how to. These feelings he was having were complex and many faceted. Much of the things he felt he couldn’t put to words and wasn’t going to try.

He wondered what it would be like having a similar conversation with Siobhan, Justin, or Howard. Wondered what Kelly, Michael, Rebecca, or Miranda would say in response to what he’d done. They had helped him figure out much of the plan. They had thought such a display of power and justice would be necessary.

But how could they know the scale? How could they have known what it would really be like? What it would feel like?

It was one think talking about something in theory, it was another thing entirely to hand out that justice in person, one man or woman at a time, billions of times over…

He was glad none of his found family were here. Glad that the man beside him had been around for several thousand years.

“Thank you,” Xavier said. “I’m not sure if I agree with your assessment of, well, me, but… Thank you. I needed someone to talk to. I’m glad it was you.”

Palini stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. “This is a long journey. You can always speak to me.” He nodded at the exit to the hall. “And those people back in the throne room? You can speak to them too, you know. They all believe in you.”

Xavier nodded, though he wasn’t sure he was about to open up to them all, knowing he had the option was… a nice thing.

“Do you want to stay here a while?” Palini asked.

Xavier was about to stand, then stopped himself. Though little time had passed outside his time dilation field, he had just spent countless years being the hand of justice. Xavier had advanced past the need to eat. Past the need to sleep. Past the need to rest at all unless his energies were depleted or he was severely injured.

And so, in all that time, this was the first time he’d sat down. The first time he’d slowed.

The first time he’d stopped to breathe.

“I think I’ll stay in the base a little while,” Xavier replied.

“I hoped you would.” Palini hesitated. “Do you want me to stick around?”

Xavier shook his head. “No. That’s all right.”

The other man left, though he seemed a little unsure as he walked out.

Xavier sat at the bar for a long time before he finally stood and left the hall. He didn’t head for the exit of the Roving Seed Base. He walked over to the first of the four houses in the base—the house that was his.

It had been several lifetimes since he’d stepped into that house. It hadn’t changed at all. There wasn’t even dust on the books. The Roving Seed Base kept everything perfect. Just the way he’d left it. He ran a finger along the spines of the different books until he found a paperback that brought him comfort. He pulled the book—a classic epic fantasy—from the shelf and headed to the couch.

Sipping coffee produced from his Storage Ring, Xavier sat and lost himself in the pages of a fantasy world, escaping from reality for as long as his mind would allow. Roln didn’t interfere or speak during this time. His soul bound weapon, Bones, was also silent. Rhaalir too made no visitations.

When Xavier finished the book, he shut it with a snap and returned it to the shelf via telekinesis, bringing the next one to his hand.

By the time he felt ready to step back into the throne room that was now his and face reality, he’d read half of his vast collection of fantasy and science fiction novels. The only time he’d left that couch was when he decided that even though he didn’t need sleep, a nap might still be a good idea.

Stepping out of the Roving Seed Base, Xavier’s mind and body felt more refreshed than they had in a very, very long time. Things felt more clear, less conflicted. His thoughts weren’t in the same type of turmoil as they’d been in before. The doubts he’d had were long gone.

All he had before him was his mission.