Dissonance - Chapter 32

We had to beg off our Sunday show at the Blue Ridge. Even though I told him ahead of time this was a possibility, I apologized profusely to Chef. He was fine with it and Willie was good to play, but I felt bad whenever I had to miss an obligation.

We were all just too wiped out by all of the excitement on Saturday and the driving before and after. Even Lyla, who seemed to never be low on energy, seemed like she was ready to crash when they got home.

We were supposed to get our first report on record sales and streaming numbers on Tuesday, so I’d be talking to him in just a few days, but I still called Warren to give him an update on how it went. He was very excited to hear about playing with Nightshade and the fact that we, and more importantly our record, got a shout-out from them on stage. Any bump from this weekend wasn’t going to show up until next week’s numbers, but the label would be taking the entire first month into account, so it was still going to help us.

Sydney and Cameron must have talked to people, because I had several kids stop me in the parking lot to ask about meeting Ronnie and playing with Nightshadewhen I got to school on Monday. On top of that, several of Sydney’s friends were with her out front where she normally waited for me. I can imagine in a small town like this, something like meeting one of the biggest stars in the world and playing with a major band made me something of a celebrity, but I’d be happy when this passed over. It wasn’t like my being a musician was new and they all knew I toured this summer, but I guess it wasn’t until I had contact with famous people that it became real for them.

I hadn’t gotten to talk to Kat or Cameron a lot, since I still rode with Sydney and her mom, but we’d talked a little and he’d been in a great mood Saturday. I guess the fact that I had seen him, and he’d been there to see all the excitement for himself, is why I was surprised when he pulled me aside at lunch before I could make it to the lunch table.

“Hey, I just wanted to thank you for letting me tag along this weekend.”

“No problem. You’re always welcome to come with us, if I’m allowed to bring other people in.”

“You know I might take you up on that. But, I wanted to tell you I got my article submitted. I was up late last night completely rewriting it so I could work in the stuff from Saturday, because that was all amazing.”

“Be careful. I know it’s just for a small paper, but a lot of those interactions, especially with people whose profile is really big and who have reputations to think about, were meant to be private. If they knew someone there would be publishing what they said, they might never have talked to us. If you want to be backstage with us, you have to be cool about it.”

“Ohh … I didn’t think about that.”

I ran over the events of the weekend, thinking through where the danger spots were. The interaction with Ronnie was harmless and I couldn’t see anything there that could have been a problem. If anything, she came off as friendly towards me and my friends and caring because of her support for Eli. There was one dangerous spot I could see, however.

“Did you include any of the stuff about Eli and that argument that was happening when we walked up?”

“What? No. I only mentioned how you’d been on stage with them, and quoted Ronnie about how she thought you sounded great. The whole article focuses on you, so I only added stuff that worked with that.”

“You mean the band, right?”

“Yeah, the band, although I had to put in the stuff about you playing with Nightshade. It was too good to leave out.”

“Fine, just don’t get me in trouble with the rest of them thinking I’m a prima donna.”

“I don’t think I did.”

“Okay.”

“Anyway, I wanted to also thank you for taking me with you. I met some amazing people while you were playing. I swear once I’m out of school, I could ride your coattails to Broadway with some of the people I meet. Did you know the stage manager used to be the stage manager for several off-Broadway shows?”

“No, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to her much.”

“I got her email address. It might come to nothing, but contacts like that are what can get me in the door.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to come with us, but most of our gigs are in bars with tiny storage rooms as our green room. Don’t expect them all to be like that.”

“I don’t know, man. Seeing you out there this weekend, it won’t be long till you’re playing only large crowds. You’re good at the Blue Ridge, but you took it to the next level with the crowd this weekend.”

“A lot of that is because of the crowd. There’s kind of a feedback that happens between them and us. The more they give us, the harder we play. The Blue Ridge is great and we get a lot of support, but it’s nothing like seeing seven hundred or a thousand people out in front of you. You should have seen the crowd at the House of Grace concert. It was huge. I swear I was flying.”

“It’s the same for theater, although I’ve never experienced anything more than a mostly full school auditorium. One day though, I’ll get out there.”

“I have no doubt,” I said, clapping him on the arm. “Let’s go get some lunch.”

***

Tuesday at lunch I went outside to make a call instead of going to the cafeteria. I’d wolf down my lunch when I was done, but today was the day the numbers came out, and I was dying to find out how we did.

“So what’s the word?” I asked Kent when he answered.

“Ha, someone’s excited. Before I give you some of these numbers, I want to temper your expectations. You’re not at the top of any charts, and that’s okay. You didn’t have the marketing push or reach for those kinds of numbers. I’ll let you know upfront, we’re happy with what we’re seeing. They’re in line with what we expected of you, but on the high side, which is good news. if you can keep this momentum you’re building, you’ve got a long career with us. I just didn’t want you to hear the numbers without context and get bummed, okay?”

“Okay, considered me warned.”

“Okay. The second caveat is for your RIAA and Billboard sales numbers, your streaming is bundled up with that. They calculate one-hundred and fifty streams as one track sale, and fifteen hundred streams as an album sale, although that fifteen hundred number is an average. On some platforms that have free and premium streams, the numbers are different. We have a breakdown of this, but I just wanted to give you a sense of how many streams are counted as an album sale. This is then combined with your traditional sales numbers to determine your actual album sales. Normally you’d also track the sale of singles and streams for those songs separately, but you didn’t have a single, so we don’t have to worry about that now. Also, just so you know, five-hundred thousand units is gold and one million is platinum, and that does include streaming numbers. You’re nowhere near that, so don’t get excited, but I wanted you to have a barometer for these numbers. Like I said, we set reasonable expectations for you and weren’t expecting you to gold or platinum, or even really getting close to that, on this first album.”

“Okay, so how’d we do?”

“You pulled very respectable numbers, most of that from streaming, but that’s to be expected. Less than five percent of our sales are CDs or other media and digital sales are down to about thirty-five percent. With the exception of some artists whose majority listener base are over sixty years old, nearly every artist we represent hovers around sixty-percent streaming. I just wanted you not to worry about that number when you see it, since I sent over a report breaking down your sales to you and your parents an hour ago.”

I didn’t love that he said parents. When I’d signed, it had just been me and Mom and until now he’d just said mother. The fact that he said parents was he was aware that my father was in the picture, and had at least somewhat accepted that he was co-managing my career with my mother, which was a bad sign. I knew Dad. If he got the hint of approval, he’d take that as a go-ahead for him to run with anything he thought was right.

I however still didn’t feel I could tell Kent that. ‘Respectable’ first week numbers were not enough to make all the reasons I needed to keep presenting myself as an adult and not a kid with family problems from being valid.

“Okay. So what were our numbers?”

“Top of the line, you sold twenty-three thousand, four hundred and ninety-three. Again, that ‘sold’ includes both actual sales and streaming numbers combined. For a regional first-time artist, you had some really respectable streaming numbers. We’re currently projecting you to hit around forty to forty-five thousand sales this month, since there’s always a big week-over-week drop from the release, at least for the first month or two, until things stabilize. However, Warren told me about the festival this weekend. I don’t know how you did it, but opening up for someone as big as Nightshade and arranging your band to follow right after them with that size of an audience, I think we’re going to be wrong and your numbers might even go up for week two, or at least hold the same, which will blow all of our projections out of the water. You’re going to make me and Warren look very good at the office here.”

“I was just at the right time and place.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Charlie. A lot of people are at the right time and place, but don’t know how to turn that into an advantage for them. You saw something and you made it work. That’s a skill even more important than how well you sing or play the guitar. I’ve watched a lot of mediocre talent make it big because they seized their moment. You keep making decisions like this, and the label will decide your worth pushing nationally, not regionally, which will move you out of the minors and into the big leagues.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Good. Anyway, I know you’re at lunch and you have to get back to class, so I appreciate you calling in. Keep up the good work and making me look like a genius.”

I was on cloud nine. Not only had I had the best weekend of my life, but now it sounded like we weren’t going to be a flash in the pan. Dad had tried to put out a record on his own, selling it at shows, and I think he topped out at less than a thousand total copies sold, and that took several years. We sold twenty-three thousand records. I didn’t know what other new bands were selling, but it sounded like good numbers to me.

Of course it couldn’t last. I was halfway back to the school from the football field bleachers when I saw Mr. Packer, who had been walking out to the parking lot, but diverted when he saw me. At first I thought he might be coming over to scold me, although for what I had no idea since we were allowed to eat out here if we wanted to. When he got closer though, I saw the smile on his face and knew it meant something worse.

“So, you’ve decided you’ve had enough of us, huh?” He said when he got close.

“What?”

“You decided you had enough of public school. I get it. I’ve heard all the talk about you going out touring and having record deals, and honestly, I don’t blame you. You and I might not have always seen eye to eye, but I’ve never born you any ill will, Charlie. I’m happy for you. I know it will be hard, homeschooling while you travel, but this is a big opportunity most kids your age will never get, and I can’t begrudge you for wanting to take it. I’d still recommend strongly that you keep your studies up and do your best with homeschooling, because everyone knows how short-lived a music career can be. I and all of the staff here at Carr wish you the best, and hey, if you do get famous, you’ll get the last laugh, since we’ll almost certainly hang a plaque or something declaring this ‘Charlie Nelson’s high school.’”

“What?” I said again.

“What?” he repeated, both of us now confused.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your father called this morning. Apparently your record is doing really well, and you’re going to try and do music full-time. He wanted to know what the steps were to pull you out of school and switch you to homeschooling. Don’t worry, I explained to him how to get all the paperwork and get it filled.”

“I’m not going touring and I’m not switching to home school!”

“You’re not? I think maybe you should have a conversation with your parents tonight, because he was pretty clear that you were. Anyway, I’m sure you will all sort it out. Now, get to class. You’re still a Carr student for a while longer and, rock star or no, I’ll still write you up for being late to class.”

He headed back to his original destination, whistling, I guess thrilled to be rid of me. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. The whiplash between the good call with Kent and finding out Dad’s latest salvo was giving me serious whiplash. I barely paid attention for the rest of the day, to the point where even teachers who liked me had to comment on how I needed to focus on my work. I was out of school in a flash, sending Chef a text message that I had an emergency and wouldn’t make practice today. Kat and Sydney had swim practice so I was on my own, and had already passed the turnoff to Hanna’s neighborhood heading towards the trailer when I stopped, pulling off to the side of the road.

My knuckles were white from how hard I was gripping the steering wheel, as I worked myself up with each step closer, when I got ahold of myself and started thinking. Chef, Kent, Warren, Hanna and Willie had all at different times told me I needed to think more before I acted. Mom wasn’t home and Dad almost certainly was. there was also no chance I’d ever convince Dad he was wrong, and the only thing that would happen would be a fight. No good could come of that. The person I needed to talk to was Mom, and she was at work.

I took a few more deep breaths, slowing each time to get my heart rate under control, and swung a U-turn, headed back towards Hanna’s house. Hanna’s mom was working and Kat was at practice, so I had the place to myself for the time being. I normally didn’t bother mom at work, partly because I didn’t want to get in the way of her job and partly because Kat’s father, who owned the factory, still hadn’t fired her.

She was a low-level secretary and there was a chance her being there either hadn’t come to his attention, or he decided he didn’t want another public fight over what happened with his daughter. In spite of how much power he had in town, he’d still be ostracized, at least publicly, when word of what he’d been doing leaked. He’d never been arrested, probably because of his friendship with the county DA and because Kat never pressed it, since he’d agreed to keep paying for everything, and that was enough for people to write it off as a rumor. Even rumors do damage though, and he’d more or less dropped out of public life for the time being. I figured I was one of the people he was really pissed at, so drawing attention to my mom, or to my presence in general, wasn’t a good thing.

This was enough of an emergency to break that policy though.

“Charlie, is everything okay?” Mom asked when she answered her cell phone.

Besides it being weird that I was calling her at work, I also hadn’t spoken to her except once in the last two weeks. I could imagine that a call from me out of the blue would bring on imagining the worst possibilities. Part of me wanted to tell her it wasn’t that, but the rest of me wanted to charge headlong instead of elevating her fears.

“No, it isn’t. Dad called the school and told them to start the process of unenrolling me so I could become a home-schooled student.”

“What?” she said, sounding genuinely surprised. “I thought we all discussed this and he agreed that it was better for you to stay in school.”

It didn’t surprise me in the least however, that he hadn’t talked to mom before making such a drastic move. He was nothing if not arrogant, and always assumed everyone was going to agree with whatever brilliant idea he had at the moment.

“No, we didn’t agree to that. He stopped bringing it up, but he never agreed that I shouldn’t be home-schooled, or even to not try and make it happen again. You guys got the numbers from Kent today, and apparently that was enough to convince him we were wrong and I should tour full-time like Brent suggested.”

“I’ll talk to him. Just give it some time and I’ll straighten this out.”

“No,” I said, not even hesitating. “We don’t have time. I don’t know how hard it will be to re-enroll me if he pulls me out of school, and I don’t want to know. I’m doing good in my classes, and the last thing I need is to miss several weeks or end up in different classes, and that’s if they let me back in at all. Mr. Packer has already made it clear he’s overjoyed with the idea of me being gone, and I wouldn’t put it past him to try and keep me from coming back, since I assume it’s easier to keep me from enrolling than to kick me out once I’m already here.”

“Charlie, I don’t want you doing anything rash.”

“Then you better do something. I’m sorry I’m being so disrespectful, but I’m trying to follow your wishes here. You’re the one who almost didn’t let me start this in the first place, because you wanted me to finish school and go to college. You can’t make such a big deal of it to me and then go along with Dad when he decided to do it.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“No, that’s not good enough. I might already be out by then. You need to call the school today and tell them there was a mistake and I am not being pulled out of school. You probably need to call the district too, in case he already submitted the paperwork to them. Then you’re going to talk to dad about this and make sure he understands it isn’t happening under any circumstances and to not do this again.”

“Charlie, I know you’re worked up, but I’m still your mother …”

“Then act like it. I swear to God, Mom, if you let him pull me out of school, we’re done. I will never speak to either of you again. I need a parent right now. You can either step up and be that, or let him continue to cause havoc and lose me forever. It’s your choice,” I said, and then hung up.

I just sat there, looking at my phone, and broke down, again. for someone who didn’t consider themselves much of a crier, I’d been having these crying jags a lot, recently. I just couldn’t hold all of the emotions in. The commingling of anger, fear, disappointment, and sadness was just too much. I either needed to punch something or cry. Mrs. Phillips had been too good to me for me to start punching holes in her walls, and besides, breaking my hand wouldn’t help anything, but it could end my career. So instead I bawled like a baby.

Thankfully, no one was home to see me this time, and I’d cleaned myself up by the time Kat came home from practice. Both she and Mrs. Phillips were surprised I was home so early, but I just blew it off, telling them I had something come up, since I didn’t really want to talk about it. I pretended to be focused on homework the rest of the night, not really wanting to talk to anyone at all.

The one good moment, or at least less bad moment, was when mom sent me a text message to confirm that she’d talked to the school and I wasn’t going to be unenrolled and I wasn’t going to homeschooling. At least that part was taken care of. Of course, this was the second time Dad had tried this little maneuver, and just because she called the school and took care of it, didn’t mean she’d actually dealt with dad at all.