FETCH

To physical backers: I'm sorry that I haven't sent out the paper copies of the games for the last three months yet. All the back pages are done but I'm going to send out all four of them later on this month - Once Upon a Crime, Predestined, Administrative Carnage and FETCH, which is attached below. All the back pages are written and illustrated and ready to go to the printers.

I've made this decision because the next game I release will be a collaboration, and I wanted to sort of... round this off, as it were, before moving on to the next stage. You'll see when you read this month's game.

Thanks as always for your understanding and support. I've been going through a lot recently and it's been a struggle to stay on top of things. Thankfully, due to some therapy and an increase in medication, I'm finally coming out the other side of a six-month depressive spiral and am feeling - tentatively! - more able to Do Stuff without tremendous effort. At present that stuff is Shower and Eat Regularly and Wear Clean Clothes, and I'm hoping I can graduate to more advanced stuff as we go.

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FETCH is not my normal sort of thing! It's a diceless solo journaling bodyhorror game about gaining revenge on the bastards who dared to make you in the first place. It's the sort of thing that all the aforementioned therapy and drugs have allowed me to tackle. 

Before embarking on my year of collaborations, I sat at my desk and thought: "Yeah, jokes about elves are all well and good, but what do I want to write as my last solo game?" 

Turns out it's a game poem. Or a lyric game? I don't know. I'm not entirely sure I know what a lyric game is, or if this is one of them, but it's about as close as I'm going to get, I think. It's raw and strange and cathartic and it feels important to me. So here you go. Have fun with it. Or whatever it is that it produces instead of fun.

It also marks my 53rd one-page game, which as it turns out, is absolutely fuckin loads of one-page games. I've learned so much as a designer and a writer (and an illustrator, a little!) over the years that I've done this, and I couldn't have done it without your support. Some people I'd like to thank, officially, with names and everything:

- Christopher Taylor, for being the sober yin to my fiery yang since 2005, and for quietly helping me in everything I do 

- Mary Hamilton, for having the original idea of doing one-page games, and for their ongoing belief and reassurance that this is not only worthwhile but viable and good. Also we're married and that's great too

- Marisha Ray, for playing Honey Heist on Critical Role and being so decent about saying who wrote the game, sharing links to my patreon, and generally being a good egg

- My 12 collaborators, who I'm incredibly excited about working with, and with whom I'll be able to make brilliant and beautiful things that I wouldn't have had a hope of making on my own

Right, that's all for now. England just opened back up after five months of freezing lockdown, and Spring is blossoming into life, so I'm going to risk it and have a sunny lunchtime pint in a pub garden. Wish me luck. 

- Grant x

PLEASE READ BEFORE PLAYING THIS GAME

CONTENT WARNINGS: Depersonalisation, body horror, pervasive unreality, psychosis, suicide.

This is not my usual sort of game! It's personal, introspective, and raw. It comes from my own experiences of depression and suicidality. It has a lot of potential for bleed, in that it can trigger emotions that could potentially upset you outside of the game itself. If you have history of serious trauma, psychosis or suicidal ideation, it might be sensible to talk the game through with someone that you trust before and after playing - or just skip reading and playing altogether. There are plenty of light-hearted games I've written; have a go on those instead.

Here are a few safety measures that I can recommend you put in place:

1) Remember that you are not the person in the game. You are a real person with thoughts and feelings and bones and everything. You are human. When you play Fetch you're taking on the role of a non-human creature, but it's just that - a role. Playing the game as yourself can be traumatic and is not recommended.

2) Each time you finish playing, return to yourself. Centre yourself in the real world. Look around you and name five things you can see. Press your feet into the ground and feel it supporting you. Say your real name out loud. Remind yourself who and where you are.

3) Write a paragraph about the experience in the third-person past tense - this is something which happened to a fictional character, not you. Think about what you want to take from the experience into the real world and what you want to leave behind.

My thanks to Jessie Holder who contacted me about this, and some of whose techniques I have copy-pasted verbatim into this warning. For additional resources on safety with respect to de-roleing and bleed, take a look at Black Armada's safety guide or Beau Jágr Sheldon's Script Change toolbox.