Chapter 409 (rough and unedited)

Wooo starting 2019 off with Patreon Chapters! Because my new years resolution is to make more $$!!!! Crass, I know, but it's all I've got left. I'll talk more about it in another post, which I'll make after this one. Chapter first, talk next.

Enjoy!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xxpHkj_O85r4P3pWKbUTIoljZJJQbh46CRVg6iUz4Go/edit?usp=sharing

It’s morning on the fifth day of our first foray on the front lines, and already I’m dealing with a crisis of epic proportions.

Not a great start, but if you look at it another way, we went a whole four days without disaster.

Overall, not too shabby.

Despite going to great lengths to be ready for any and all possibilities, my efforts evidently weren’t enough. Then again, what could I have done differently? It’s not like I didn’t foresee the possibility of this happening, but all the planning and preparation in the world can’t insulate me from simple human error. Short of keeping a cloud-stepping Expert dedicated to this one task, I don’t see any other way I could’ve avoided this particular pitfall, but unless I reveal more than I’m comfortable with, there’s no way to secure the services of said Expert. The issue is out of my hands, so really, it’s not my fault things went south so quickly. Sadly, those responsible are not here to suffer the dire consequences of their actions, leaving me and my retinue holding the ball.

We’re all out of shrimp, which means King Pong will not be happy.

Hoping to soften the blow, I’ve laid out a veritable feast of seaweed, fish, and dried fruit for him to feast upon, but the adorable turtle tyrant is not so easily won over. While Mama Bun and Blackjack noisily snack away at the offerings, Pong Pong’s tiny turtle head swivels back and forth in search of his daily dose of shrimp, but alas, the familiar wooden box is nowhere to be found. Eyes narrowed and lips pursed, Pong Pong turns his attention towards me and my heart skips a beat, my mouth dry and smile strained as I launch into my prepared explanation. “I know, you’re asking ‘where’s the shrimp?’, and let me tell you, I’m wondering the same thing.” Though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t understand human language, Pong Pong is smart enough to learn a few key phrases, and ‘shrimp’ sits firmly at the top of the list, his eyes widening and mouth opening upon hearing his favourite word. “Look little buddy, we’re a long ways from the Azure Sea and it’s hard to keep food fresh. We should’ve had enough to last us the full ten days, but they were starting to spoil so I fed it all to Ping Ping last night.” Judging by his huff of anger as he glares at his titanic wifey, her name is another word Pong Pong understands. Wholly intimidated, Ping Ping continues feasting on smoked fish and cabbage beside us, which only serves to infuriate little Pong Pong even more.

Scooping the angry turtle into my hands, I stroke his head to soothe his anger and my butt-cheeks unclenching as the tension gushes from his body beneath my gentle ministrations. With the crisis averted, I let out a small sigh of relief and chuckle at the sheer absurdity of my situation, held hostage by a gluttonous Divine Turtle who could turn me into meat paste without lifting a finger. Granted I don’t think he would, but just knowing he could is enough to make me think twice about disappointing the little lord turtle.

He’s lucky he’s so damn adorable...

I shouldn’t have mentioned Ping Ping, not while talking about a subject as sensitive as shrimp. As much as I’d like otherwise, their relationship has yet to blossom into the fairy tale romance I’d once envisioned. Divinity or not, it’s hard to say how smart Pong Pong really is, but his mentality can best be described as that of a selfish seven year old child. Maybe it’s because she’s strong enough to threaten him or maybe he’s just insecure about his size, but Pong Pong treats Ping Ping as more of a rival than friend, always glaring at her during mealtime if she’s around. It’s a good thing Ping Ping is a sweet and gentle soul, paying the small-but-fearsome turtle no mind, else I might have a battle of the turtles on my hands.

Or maybe she’s too scared to glare back. So sad. I was so exited for mixed-baby quasi-divinity turtles, but on the other hand, I’d also like to know how strong Ping Ping is compared to Pong Pong. Everyone thinks she’s close to Divinity, but if that were the case, then why does she need the Protectorate to look after her?

Thanks to my maxed out head-scritching skills, Pong Pong’s anger soon abates and he acquiesces to dining on something other than shrimp. With a graceful hop out of my hand, he promptly begins devouring all the smoked fish and shredded cabbage in sight, leaving the dried fruits, seaweed, and other miscellaneous foodstuffs untouched. I can’t tell if it’s a coincidence he’s eating Ping Ping’s favourite foods or if he’s targeting them on purpose for revenge, but either way this outcome is preferable to sitting ringside seats at a turtle tussle. Thankfully, the magnanimous Ping Ping doesn’t bat an eye, probably because she’s used to sharing food with Mama Bun, Blackjack, the quins, and the laughing birds, so one more Pong Pong isn’t much.

It probably also helps that for every one of her bites, Pong Pong needs like a hundred to match it. It might be my imagination but the big girl almost seems amused by his attempts to steal her food, sitting there with a smug glint in her eye as she savours every mouthful while Pong Pong chomps away at maximum speed. Along with the rhythmic crunching emitting from Mama Bun’s cheeks and Blackjack’s squeals of delight as he goes to town on a chicken leg, this symphony of gluttony sets my mind at ease and lets me forget all my worries, if only for a moment.

Pets are so much work, but I can’t imagine going a day without them. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to quit floofs cold turkey, but I’m glad Pong Pong, Mama Bun and Blackjack tagged along on this pointless and stressful excursion. The quins and laughing birds just aren’t affectionate enough to satisfy my cuddle quota, but Blackjack sitting on his bum while hugging a drumstick twice his size is all it takes to recharge my floof batteries to full.

He eats like people. It’s the cutest thing ever!

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Their bellies full and bladders empty, Mama Bun cuddles Pong Pong hops into my embrace while Blackjack climbs atop my head, all three of them ready to go back to sleep. Spoiled pet jokes aside, I can’t really blame them for being sleepy considering the sun has yet to rise and we had a hard four days behind us and another six ahead. This will be the last day we spend marching east, after which we can turn around and head on home for a week of rest, relaxation, and defending SuiHua from errant Defiled before repeating this entire futile and meaningless exercise once again.

What fun.

Resisting the urge to giggle and boop Mama Bun on the nose, I say goodbye to Ping Ping, mount Zabu, and bring the nap pack with me to relieve Li Song from watch duty. Truth be told, my Martial Aunt presents something of a conundrum. I was surprised her request to join my retinue and flattered when she asked that I hold her chain, but it’s made our interactions rather complicated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s here and she’s been a great help, but I’m not entirely sure how our dynamic is supposed to work. As her ranking officer, I can technically order her around with impunity, but I don’t want to overstep my bounds and betray her trust by order her to do things she doesn’t want to do. I’m still calling her ‘Martial Aunt’ in public while she simply calls me ‘Rain’, which I’m fine with, but ever since we left SuiHua a week ago, a few issues have cropped up here and there which has me tiptoeing around her all the time.

Take for example my current predicament. On Daxian’s advice, I split my entire retinue into four groups to make it easier to schedule shifts. It took some finagling to figure out who would work best with whom and how to best distribute the soldiers, but in the end, we decided on the following setup. Group One is under my command, with Lang Yi’s former slaves, the Death Corps Red Unit, and Jorani’s - no, it’s Erkin’s now - unit of scouts. Group Two is Rustram, Wang Bao and Ulfsaar along with Ravil’s scouts. Group Three belongs to Li Song and has Green Unit, Yellow Unit, and Chey’s scouts, while Group Four is led by Sai Chou and the Protectorate joined by Bulat’s scouts.

For awhile, things seemed to be working fine. While the day has four shifts, we split night watch duty into three shifts, which allows each group to have one night off every four days. It’s been working out great thus far, only... I’ve noticed a minor, almost inconsequential issue, and I’m not sure if I should bring it up. Yesterday, I had first shift and handed over second shift to Li Song. Today, I have third shift, which is why I’m up so early, and I’m taking over for... Li Song.

See the problem?

Second shift is easily the least desirable shift because you sleep for a few hours, wake up for your shift, then go back to sleep. Since we usually rotate through the shifts, I should’ve taken second shift today while Li Song took third, but I was drifting off to sleep last night when I realized Group One has never taken second shift on night duty. Since it was too late to do anything about it, I just gave in and accepted the favour, but like... what do I do now? Thank Li Song, obviously, but I’m not entirely happy about it. While Li Song’s intentions may be good, it’s not fair to make Group three take second shift two nights in a row, but how do I bring it up without sounding too harsh? Should I even mention my misgivings? Li Song showing initiative is a good thing, right? Except... what if her motivations are wrong? What if she’s only doing this because I’m holding her chain and she feels obligated to ‘serve’?

So complicated. This is why I hate being social. There’s so much to think about and there’s almost never a right answer, it’s too exhausting. Still yet to make a decision, I arrive at the eastern edge of camp to find my group all ready and waiting as they should be. Standing at full attention, Li Song greets me with a nod, sombre and serious as always. “Good morning Martial Aunt,” I say while dismounting, hiding my smile as her cat-ears twitch and flutter, the only sign of happiness on her stony-faced demeanour. “Group One reporting for duty.”

With another businesslike nod, Song replies, “Nothing to report. No sign of the Defiled throughout the night. Group Three is ready to stand down. Command of the camp is yours.”

Since departing from SuiHua, not only have we come across multiple Defiled war bands each day, we’ve also been attacked every single night. Since they have yet to make an appearance, it probably means they’ll show up soon enough, but I’m wholly confident in Red unit and Jorani’s—Erkin’s people. Turning to my soldiers, I say, “You heard her, soldiers. Head out to relieve Group three at their posts. Keep your eyes open and weapons ready.”

The shift change is always a stressful time, so Li Song and I stand in strained silence while it takes place, ready to spring into action if the Defiled take advantage of the confusion to attack. It’s never happened before, mostly because all the Defiled we’ve come across behave like rabid animals, but it could happen. After a few uneventful minutes, the last of Li Song’s group are trickling in and the danger of ambush is past, so my mind returns to agonizing over what is probably nothing. You know what? It’s probably nothing. I’ll talk to Chey later and maybe she can shed light on how Group Three feels about all this.

Dismissing her people with a wave of her hand, Li Song remains rooted in place as she chews her lower lip. If I’m being completely honest, it’s super hot, but I can’t afford to think like that, not while I hold all the power. Knowing why she stayed behind, I hand Mama Bun and Pong Pong over and smile as she nuzzles the confused and sleepy Mama Bun. Unwilling to be separated from his adopted mommy, Blackjack hops off of my head and lands lightly atop Li Song’s, his tiny body barely sinking into her silken hair.

So young and already Lightening, truly not all animals are equal.

Also, stop having weird thoughts about Li Song. I thought I had things figured out between us. She’s my Martial Aunt who sometimes misunderstands my actions and intentions, but that’s okay. We were mostly cool so long as I kept my distance, but now, things are different. Even though I’ve been wearing Li Song’s chain for an entire week, it still feels heavy around my neck, a mental burden and overwhelming responsibility I wasn’t ready for. What I want to know the most is, what changed her mind? Why did she all of a sudden decide she could trust me? Did she overcome her fear of me on her own or was it something I said and/or did? If it’s the latter, what was it so I don’t fuck this up?

“A word of advice?” Li Song’s request interrupts my pensive indecision and I idly note yet another change in our dynamic. She never used to ask for permission before giving me advice, but recently, she’s been more cautious about it. After I nod for her to continue, she grimaces and says, “It’s about our manner of address. I’ve been pondering the matter for some days now, and have decided it is not in your best interests to continue in this informal manner.” Her nose wrinkled in displeasure, Li Song spits the word out like she finds it offensive, all the while stroking Mama Bun’s head ever so gently. “In public, you should not address me as ‘Martial Aunt’. It sets a poor precedent for morale and discipline. The soldiers must adhere to the chain of command and addressing me as your senior may cause confusion.”

She spent days pondering this? That’s so... adorable! Clearing my throat to keep from laughing, I reply, “Okay. So what should I call you in public?”

“By military regulation, I am a team leader and you are the commanding officer, so I think it’s best if we addressed each other as such.”

“Sounds good, Team Leader Song. Can I still call your Martial Aunt in private?”

Her ears aflutter, Li Song solemnly grants me permission with a stately nod. “If that is all Commander, then this Team Leader shall depart.”

Ah fuck it. Just say it. “Ah, one more thing.” Though her back is already ramrod straight, she somehow straightens up even more, her eyes widening ever so slightly in alarm. Too late to abort now. “I’ve noticed Group A has never taken the second night shift. Why is that?”

“Ah.” Obviously nervous, Li Song’s shifts and places Mama Bun directly between us before answering, “This Team Leader took it upon herself to arrange things so. As the commanding officer, I thought it would be best if you remained as well-rested as possible.”

“The sentiment is appreciated, but unnecessary.” Stopping myself before I pat her arm, I awkwardly lower my hand and continue, “I wouldn’t ask my soldiers to do anything I’m not willing to do.”

Blinking in surprise, Li Song slowly nods and says, “Yes... You wouldn’t.”

After a few seconds of agonizing silence, I cough and scratch my neck while carefully choosing my words. If only I could destroy the chain and Li Song’s Oath along with it... “Er, that’s all I have to say. I should get to supervising.” Perfect. No commands or demands at all, leaving her completely free to do whatever she wants.

“Yes Commander.” As she marches off, I realize I’m staring at her butt and avert my gaze, but the sight has already been engraved in memory. Less peach and more pear, her curvy posterior sits nicely atop her shapely thighs, an enchanting sight if I ever saw one. With her striking green eyes, long, braided ponytail, flawless, olive skin, and ample bosom (thankfully hidden beneath her Runic Breastplate), Li Song is a stunning beauty and exactly the type of woman I used to dream about. Don’t get me wrong, Lin, Mila, Yan, and Luo-Luo are all beautiful as well, and I love the first three with all my heart, but if we’re only talking about physical appearance and attributes, Li Song is the only person I know who checks all my boxes.

Tall, leggy, toned, and busty. Perfection...

...

Well... Akanai and Yuzhen also fit the bill, but that’s it.

...

Dammit, Alsantset is also exactly my type, as well as Tanaraq and Tursinai, but I could never see any of them like that. Especially Tursinai, she’s too cheery and sociable for us to ever have a relationship. Plus, she’s married.

...

Now that I think about it, Zian’s mom is also my type. For a human woman, she’s really kept things together. She’s older than Zian’s uncle, but when they stand next to each other, they look more like father and daughter than brother and sister. It would never happen, but wouldn’t it be funny if we got hitched? I’d be Zian’s step-father and Jia Yang’s brother-in-law. God, it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces when I tell them the good news...

A piercing whistle puts an end to my indecent daydreaming as I track the source, a modified, blunted arrow used by the scouts to provide advanced warning to the camp. A clever piece of work if I say so myself, though it was harder to craft a working prototype than I thought. I should send word to Charok when we get back to SuiHua, I’m sure he’ll have plenty of advice to offer -

Focus, idiot. We’re under attack. A big one too, or else Jorani – no, Erkin wouldn’t bother waking the entire camp.

Finally. A real challenge. Maybe this time, there’ll be a real Champion to test my skills against. Oh, and I should also practice my Beyblade Aura, and maybe even shoot someone with Unity. So many things to practice and so few targets, trials and tribulations abound.