Unedited, unmemed... possibly unfinished.

Depending on how long the explanation takes, I may move it onto the next chapter. Usually after editing, ch's get longer too, and I feeel like I forgot sth in this ch. Will Get back to you all if there's more.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zl0-UoauWiL9650wH0CsuFr7Vf10uDUQWYuuuCkF9J4/edit?usp=sharing

No one ever mentions it, but carrying a pole-arm around is incredibly inconvenient. First of all, you can’t just lay it down for someone to trip over or put it aside out of reach. It’s my weapon, which means I need to keep it close to hand in case shit goes down, and in this world, shit is always about to go down. Then there’s the inconvenience and weight, having to dedicate at least one hand to holding this twenty kilogram monstrosity of a weapon. It’s not the heaviest pole-arm I’ve held, but I’m not the biggest person around either and my arms are already feeling the strain of holding it all morning. Moving on, we have the mental stress which comes from worrying if I’m going to accidentally impale or garrote someone by moving too quickly, which means having to check and double check my surroundings whenever I want to sit or stretch. I’ve only had Unity for a few hours but I’ve already had a couple close calls, mostly with my oh-so-adorable fur babies.

Take Blackjack for example. When not cuddling with Mama Bun, the little cloud chaser hare loves a bird’s eye view, so the first thing Blackjack did this morning was crawl up my shirt and hop onto Unity’s cross-guard to lord over the surroundings. Adorable and harmless I thought, until I forgot Blackjack was up there and decided to give my new weapon a flashy twirl. Needless to say, the little black hare is very upset about the impromptu flying lesson and glaring at me from his (or her, still can’t tell) perch atop Ping Ping’s head. Okay, maybe not glaring since bunnies and hares always look adorably angry, but the point still stands.

Glancing around to make sure no one is watching, I lean down to give Aurie a vigorous head scratching, heart melting at his sweet kitty smile. Sitting lazily in the grass, the big kitten leans against my hip and rumbles in delight while his brother sulks at his side. Somehow, I think Jimjam sees himself as a consummate predator, only happy to eat if he ‘hunts’ his own meals. Not letting him steal a bite has injured his pride but my grouchiest of floofs needs to learn some boundaries.

Don’t kneel down and hug him. Just don’t. Jimjam is playing you, he knows his whole surly brooding shtick never fails to earn him a boop and a treat. Stay strong and don’t give in. No matter how fluffy and adorable your fur babies look, you cannot hug and kiss them in public like you used to. You have an image to maintain, because when image does not match reputation, people tend to believe what they see over what they hear. No more public displays of floof affection. That was the old Falling Rain. Today, you’ll show the Empire the new and improved Falling Rain, with 50% fewer voices in his head.

The pang in my heart makes me visibly wince and I remind myself it’s too soon for those sort of jokes. With my two betrothed having absconded back to bed, I’d normally go cuddle with my fur-babies to cheer up, but new me has to settle for a friendly pat. Maintaining my public image is the worst, but there’s too much riding on it to behave otherwise. Everyone’s been telling me this for years to stop acting so weird, and if Bulat’s ridiculously expensive bar-crawl taught me anything, it’s that rumours spread like wildfire and proof is irrelevant. All it takes is for one drunk hillbilly to make an off-colour joke and by the next morning, the whole Empire will think I’m some sort of bear-shagging pervert or worse. Seriously, it’s scary how easily Bulat convinced all of Nan Ping the shark attack was a deliberate attack. Apparently, while I busy Awakening in the water, the city turned into a powder keg of unrest and animosity, a stone’s throw from open conflict between nobles and commoners.

All over little old me. It’s flattering really.

Then again, the nobles really only have themselves to blame for all the bad blood. I doubt the commoners would have flocked to my cause so readily if they were valued more. How hard is it to behave like decent human beings and treat people with respect and dignity? I like to believe people are inherently good, but the more I see of the world, the harder it gets to maintain that belief. Since his outing into Nan Ping, Bulat’s new drinking buddies have provided a steady stream of news regarding scandals and gossip, some of which makes my skin crawl. Profiteering, exploitation, blackmail and worse, it’s a miracle the commoners haven’t burned Nan Ping to the ground in a fit of righteous fury.

Martial Warriors only make up 1% of the population. If commoners stood together, I’m not sure there’s much the nobles could do. Slaughter some leaders and force the rest to work I guess, but it only takes one torch to set fire to a granary and one stone to start an avalanche. I wouldn’t mind holding that torch either, something needs to change. After all the raised tempers and exposed secrets, nothing came of it all in the end. The only thing we accomplished was outing the Legate as an unreliable supporter, which wasn’t exactly surprising. I suppose it also quashed all the nasty talk about how I went swimming with a scarf wrapped around my crotch, which I supposed makes it worth the astronomical price tag. I’d be happier if I knew who tried to have me killed via shark-pack, but at least whoever it was hasn’t made a second attempt.

Yet.

With Peace on my hip, Tranquility hanging from my shoulder, Unity in my sweaty grasp, and a helmet stuffed with what I think is modified Demon Ichor, I stand bare-chested in my swimming trunks on the shores of Nan Ping Bay. The deceptively calm surface is aglow in the morning light, the rising sun casting an orange-red hue across the crystal clear waters. The beauty is lost on me as I hunt for hidden dangers and crafty vegetables, praying my mobile plant theory holds water and I’m not barking up the wrong tree. I told Akanai, Mila, Taduk, and Guard Leader my suspicions and none of them outright laughed, but they didn’t exactly look confident either.

Okay, so I’m grasping at straws here, but what else am I supposed to do? I’m pretty sure Ping Ping can sense Blobby, but she doesn’t seem to care I’ve lost it, still refusing to leave my side. It’s entirely possible Blobby just got sick of listening to me talk to myself and left, but I can’t just give up and move on. Without Blobby to purify them, using my Talent (sigh) to suck up Spectres is a one-way ticket back to crazy town, not to mention the lack of sweet, delicious Heavenly Energy. As much as I like unlocking new combos and free power ups, it’s not worth dealing with all the murderous, unchecked rage which means I need Blobby if I want to become stronger in a reasonable time frame.

With the Defiled knocking on our doorstep, I doubt we have two years, much less ten. All hell is about to break loose but the Legate is more interested in keeping the people calm with a public spectacle, with this whole dog and pony show of a Conference. We should be building walls and shoring up our defences, but instead we’re all sitting around with our thumbs up our asses and waiting for the Legate to call our names so we can prove our fealty to the Empire before the world at large.

Honestly, I have no idea how the Empire survived for so long.

“Rain my boy,” Taduk says as he gestures at Guard Leader waving us over. “I believe they’re ready for us. Come, come, we only have a handful of hours before the Conference begins so time is wasting.”

It’s adorable how my rabbit-hating teacher cradles Mama Bun in his arms like a furry little baby, so protective of his precious Spiritual Plant locating device. Taduk still likes to grumble and call her names, but I’ve seen him talking to and petting the bunnies when he thinks no one’s watching and I know his pockets are filled with dandelion leaves and wild berries, some of Mama Bun’s favourite treats. Smiling at my Teacher, I take a deep breath and say, “Well, time to find out if I’m right or not. Mobile plants, it’s almost too crazy to believe.”

“Nonsense.” Absently rocking Mama Bun side to side as we make our way to the skiff, Taduk holds his head up high in confidence. “Your logic is sound. The Spiritual Plant must be on the water’s surface in order for this flea-bag to scent it, and assuming she isn’t as dumb as the rest of her kin, there’s no other explanation for why she hasn’t lead us directly to it.” Picking up his pace, he adds, “A mobile plant capable of absorbing the Energy of the Heavens, I have so many questions I can hardly think straight. How does it move? Does it possess intelligence? Can a plant eventually form a human body like beasts do? What if this isn’t an isolated incident and Spiritual Plants across the Empire can uproot themselves to escape from predators? That alone makes this little floppy-ear glutton and her welps all the more valuable, the only tamed bicorn rabbits in existence. Don’t you dare give any of them away boy, and start looking for another powerful bicorn rabbit to mate her with. Think of the possibilities...”

... Maybe I’m wrong. It’s possible Taduk doesn’t like Mama Bun at all, but likes how she can pump out a veritable horde of babies who can help add to his Spiritual Plant collection.

Collecting Blackjack before we board the skiff with Guard Leader, Guan Suo and the monk join us without a word, just like they intruded on my nice, family breakfast. Cradling Unity against my shoulder, we set out into the bay with the swift, sleek, form of Ping Ping gliding alongside us. The quins were kept on shore today since Akanai didn’t want to meet the Legate smelling like wet fur, so Ping Ping is riding solo for the first time ever in Nan Ping Bay. Undeterred by the lack of furry friends to play with, the giant turtle amuses herself by swimming circles and doing barrel rolls around the boat while Mama Bun hangs over the ship’s prow and points her nose towards our quarry.

Scampering in the air above us, Taduk keeps vigil on our surroundings from up high and coordinates with the Sentinels stationed on shore, all ready and watching the aquatic vegetation for signs of movement. Every time Mama Bun faces a new direction, my heart skips a beat and I look up at Taduk, hoping to see his face light up with joy. Instead, each time we correct our course, I only see Taduk’s optimism waning at our lack of success and feel my stomach drop in impending dread. Considering the Azure Ascendant GangShu was so eager to get his hands on it, I’m pretty sure I only scratched the surface of Blobby’s uses. The monk said Talents are usually unique, so GangShu probably didn’t need Blobby for Spectre purification purposes, but no one I’ve asked will tell me what Blobby is supposed to do.

Aside from teaching me Aura and eating Demon Ichor, apparently not much.

After thirty minutes of rowing around, Mama Bun finally gives up and comes down from the side, signalling the end of today’s chase as she circles around the bottom of the skiff to thump her feet and claw the wood in anger. Adorable as her grunt-filled temper tantrums are, I sympathize with her mounting frustrations. We’ve been at this for a week now and we still have nothing to show for it, drifting in yet another part of the bay we’ve never been in. There’s no rhyme or reason to the routes we’ve taken, each day heading in a new direction and wind up moving in a new pattern.

It just doesn’t make sense. How is this plant making it’s escape without being noticed?

Carefully putting Unity down, I head to the front of the skiff to comfort poor Mama Bun. “It’s okay sweet bunbun,” I whisper, using Aura to convey my love as she bats at the skiff floor. “We’ll get it eventually.” Placing my arm in front of her so she can jump into my embrace, Mama Bun shoves it away with a headbutt and goes back to scratching at the floor, venting her anger in its entirety. After watching her go at it for several minutes more, I give up stroke her floppy ears and pat her head goodbye.

Having descended from his aerial vantage point, Taduk smiles and pats my shoulder. “Perhaps she’ll pick up the scent again,” he says, putting Blackjack down to join her. “Nothing to worry about Rain my boy, things will work out in the end. If we can’t find it, then you’ll just have to do things the good old-fashioned way, yea? Go on now, off with you, make sure your turtle is nice and fed.”

“Yes Teacher.” How does one find Spiritual Plants the old fashioned way? Putting the question aside for when I get back, I grab Unity and step into the water, sinking faster than expected with the extra twenty-kilogram weight. Ready and waiting for my arrival, Ping Ping squeaks in joy as I paddle over to meet her. She’s a real sweetheart, always making sure to keep a good distance from the skiff. She’s probably worried about overturning it or something, which means she’s more courteous and considerate than probably 90% of nobles in the Empire.

Having recently discovered how annoying carrying something around can be, I elect to climb onto Ping Ping’s shell instead of letting her hold me in her arm. Glancing back to make sure I’m ready, Ping Ping dives down with unbridled glee, hurtling through the water so fast I almost lose my grip. Reaching the bottom in an instant, the giant turtle waves her legs in the sandy sea floor and snaps up some hidden creature, a large, burrowed fish of some sort. Bringing it back to the surface, she gobbles up her meal in dainty little chomps, taking her time to relish the taste as I laugh on her shell. There’s nothing quite like riding around on Ping Ping’s shell, feeling the surge of water rushing past your face and the pressure building up in your ears as thousands of kilograms of water crushes you in its embrace, and then... she surfaces and you’re free of it all, gulping down lungfuls of air as the warm sun shines on your skin, giddy with relief and euphoria.

It’s almost enough to make me forget my problems. Almost.

After a few more trips to the bay floor, it becomes apparent Ping Ping is just having fun, her belly full and mood playful as she shows me the world beneath the waters. Saddened to put an end to her fun, I pat her neck and point at the skiff, indicating it’s time to head back. Spiralling around in protest, she heads for the boat at a slow, underwater glide, moping like a child as play time comes to an end. Using Aura to console her, I mentally make note to bring her out more in the days to come, because she deserves to have fun too. It can’t be fun lugging around all that weight on land, and I bet she feels three times lighter in the water.

Immersed in my thoughts as we drift towards the skiff from below, a small flash of movement catches my eye. It’s so minor I almost miss it, but as Ping Ping meanders closer and closer, the movements become more pronounced. It’s as if a piece of the boat were fluid and oozing away as we approach, trying to keep the rest of the boat between us. Curiosity piqued, I use Ping Ping as a springboard and swim over to the fluid patch, keeping a respectable distance between us. The patch stills and blends into the skiff’s siding, so well hidden I’m almost certain it’ll disappear if I even blink. Using the butte of my new weapon, I give the strange patch a gentle poke -

and almost shit myself when it comes to life in spray of darkness and tentacles.

Racing for the surface, I sputter and gasp while lifting whatever attacked me into the air, almost gutting myself on the sharp blade tip. Blinking the water out of my eyes, I identify my attacker as a brown, spotted tentacled-miscreation about this size of a pumpkin, all soft and gooey as it attempts to rip my weapon apart. Luckily, Unity has been bound and is almost indestructible, but even if it weren’t, this pint-sized octopus poses no threat. Drawn by my flailing movements, Ping Ping circles around the skiff to make sure I’m okay, her eyes fixating on the creature stuck to the end of my weapon. Opening her mouth, she fires out a ball of water, stunning the beast unconscious with a single shot. Dropping with a splash, the creature floats in place, rendered motionless and defenceless by Ping Ping’s might.

Inwardly shuddering the ugly, tentacled horror, I prod it a few more times to make sure it won’t attack before pushing it towards Ping Ping. “Wait,” Taduk yells, leaning dangerously over the side of the skiff to inspect the octopus. “Look.”

Following his gestures, I see Mama Bun struggling to get out of Guard Leader’s embrace, eagerly eyeing the floating octopus. “Uhh, what? Is this the Spiritual Plant we’ve been looking for? I didn’t think Mama Bun ate seafood...”

“Don’t be silly. Bring it up here so I can take a look,” Taduk says, reaching his grabby hands like a child for a toy.

Reluctant to touch the gross, slimy creature, I swallow my revulsion and lift it out of the water, warning my teacher to be careful. “I don’t think it’s dead yet, but if you keep it out of water long enough, it will be soon enough.”

With a non-committal grunt, Taduk drags the octopus into the skiff and Mama Bun explodes into a flurry of motion. Slipping out of Guard Leader’s grasp, the long-eared floof tackles the poor unconscious octopus and dives into the tangle of tentacles to roots about for her long awaited prize. Much to her dismay, Taduk is one step ahead of her, fishing out a fuzzy green stone a little larger than his fist and raising it high with a rousing cry of victory. Unwilling to capitulate, Mama Bun leaps into the air after it, her silky white fur stained in black ink and octopus slime.

Ewie... she’s gonna stink like octopus for days...