Escape From Baby Island - Episode 3 - Part 1

For my own sanity, I've chosen to break every episode of Escape From Baby Island into two parts. Trying to write 5,000+ word behemoth chapters is just exhausting, so I'm going to take it slower. 

This means that voting will only occur every other episode, but it also provides more chances for audience interaction mid-episode, so I think it's a fine tradeoff. Place your guesses on who's going to win the obstacle course by commenting with the hashtag #BiggestBabyOnTheIsland! 

Benji shifted uncomfortably and held their arms up for the cameras, clearly wishing they had access to Sam’s free diaper change. Though the camera never lingered for long on their puffy, heavy bottom while it showed off the paint splattering them head to toe, reaction shots were taken that very clearly showed the wrinkled noses of everyone else waiting for inspection.

…

Katie: “Ugh. This paint is never going to wash out of my hair!”

…

Greg had it pretty bad, dripping milky paint from every part of his body. The only one worse than him was Miranda, who’d been squirted down so thoroughly that even her diaper sagged from the fluids, hanging to show how desperately she needed a change–though the diaper was clearly stained with pink and purple and orange, unlike the expected off-yellow one might expect.

…

Miranda: “I just–” She sniffled, raising her glasses to wipe at her eyes. “It’s so unfair that they teamed up on me!”

…

“The votes are in!” Liam announced, strolling onto the back patio that they’d been staging scoring on. “If everyone can line up, we’ll announce the results shortly, and send one of you babies home!”

Miranda held her breath, already feeling like she’d lost. Sure, Greg was almost as colorful as she was, but his diaper wasn’t drooping from all the excess paint sog.

The five contestants lined up. Katie on the far right, then Greg, Miranda, Benji, and Sam. Only Katie looked confident–though she had paint ruining her perfect hair, she’d otherwise managed to remain fairly clean, and she knew she’d done well in the first episodes’ voting. Sam and Benji looked fairly well off as well, though they still exchanged nervous glances, unsure how voting would treat them.

“In first place!” Liam announced into his microphone, waving to the score board over the door. “Miss Baby USA, the pamper packer herself, Katie managed to stay fairly clean and even get eight points from fans–putting her at a very comfortable thirty two points! Additionally, she’ll be getting a small perk in the next competition.”

Katie’s face momentarily turned red at his description, but when it was confirmed that she was safe, she relaxed.

“This next contestant managed to make it through with more than a little backstabbing,” Liam said. “Her plan paid off, even if she took a penalty because she never managed to squirt Benji–and with twelve points from voting and twenty four from staying clean, Sam got thirty one points!”

Sam let out a breath.

…

Sam: “Thank god, I was worried I’d get screwed over again. It’s nice to know that skill can carry me through the day when I need it.”

…

“In third place,” Liam continued. “This contestant couldn’t decide where they stood, and should probably have used the potty before the game started–if their stinky diaper hadn’t given them away, they might have come in first! Benji, you scored seventeen points for keeping clean and got eight points from fans, putting you at twenty five. If you’d like to go change your diaper, you’re welcome to.”

Benji flushed and scurried away, happy to get off camera and out of their messy diaper.

That left only two.

“Greg and Miranda,” Liam said, making a ‘tsk’ noise with his mouth. “What can I say–neither of you did particularly well. You’re both covered in enough paint to redo my living room!”

Neither of them chuckled at his joke.

“Tough crowd,” Liam said, pulling at his collar and eyeing the camera. “Anyways, Greg, you stayed a little cleaner, but got a penalty for failing to squirt Benji. Miranda, I have to say, you’re positively soaked. Before voting is taken into account, Greg’s at negative one, and Miranda’s just at one point. It all comes down to what the fans had to say.”

…

Greg: “Come on,” he crossed his fingers, holding them up to the top of the frame. “Don’t fail me now, folks!”

…

Miranda: “I don’t know. I think I’m going home.”

…

Liam beamed. “Miranda, you got seventeen votes, and Greg only got two–congratulations, you’ve survived to the next round of competition!”

Greg gaped, and Miranda’s face lit up with sudden incredulous excitement.

…

Miranda: “I can’t–I mean–thank you so much! I don’t even know what to say!” She beamed, and one of the set lights glinted off her braces. Tears are in her eyes again, but this time, they’re happy. “I’ll try to make it worth it and go the distance for you!”

…

“You’ve got the rest of the day to do as you please, lunch will be served shortly,” Liam said. “Just remember, diaper changes only come at dinner and bedtime. Get some rest, enjoy the island, and be sure you’re ready for another day of competition tomorrow!”

The three surviving contestants who hadn’t already left shuffled back into the lodge, none of them particularly excited about having to make it through three more days of competition.

“Well,” Sam said, flopping down on the couch. “I guess the boys are all gone.”

“I wonder what that says about us,” Miranda commented quietly.

Katie put an arm around her, pulling Miranda close into a half-hug. “That they like seeing pretty girls in skimpy clothing, duh. Even a nerdy girl like you probably had boys slobbering all over your chest in highschool, right?”

Miranda turned pink and looked down, avoiding the question.

Katie didn’t press. “Point is, we’ve got that sex appeal, and we shouldn’t be afraid to flaunt it.”

“Speak for yourself,” Sam called from the couch. “I’m going to actually win this competition, not just ride on fans who like it when the camera shows my ass.”

“Yeah, win,” Miranda said. “About that–”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me,” Sam said. “I just suggested we team up on someone, I didn’t pick you specifically.”

Miranda almost argued, but was interrupted by Benji’s return. They’d changed into a clean diaper, though the paint on their body was still there. “Um, so–” they started. “They say if we want to, we can change into swim diapers after lunch and go swim in the ocean.”

Katie beamed. “See? The cameras want sex appeal.”

…

BWAAAP!

The air horn woke all four contestants bright and early, rousing them from their bunk beds.

Sam was up first, rolling straight out of bed and doing a half dozen pushups to wake her body from its slumber. The camera took special note of the slight sag to her diaper; and indicator that she’d needed to use it at some point in the night.

Katie was up next, lacking Sam’s energetic enthusiasm, but no less ready to face the day. Knowing they wouldn’t have much time to prepare, she hurried over to the sink in the common room, taking a moment to focus on her hair.

Benji was the bleariest, but had figured out how to program the coffee machine the night before. They gave a half-conscious smile at the smell of folgers, waddling over to get a cup.

Lastly, Miranda. Or, rather, not Miranda, as the air horn didn’t seem to wake her.

“Should someone wake her up?” Benji asked.

Katie rolled her eyes. “Oh, like she need another advantage. You’ve seen how many votes she gets–let her sleep.”

Benji just shrugged, and Sam didn’t argue.

The sign over the door didn’t give much information, it just told them all to be out by 7 AM. The three waking contestants all got out with plenty of time.

Miranda… didn’t.

Liam Trickle walked out with his confident smile right at seven, starting, “Hello, contestants! I hope you all got a good night’s rest, because–well, wait a moment. Weren’t there four of you?”

The girls giggled, but Benji just smiled a little at the corner of their mouth.

“Hmm,” Liam said. “Well, I suppose we can wait for her–let’s get everyone’s morning diaper changes out of the way, and then if she’s still not up we’ll have to do something about that.”

Again, the girls snickered, recognizing the implication that Miranda was going to miss her morning change. They broke off to the changing stations on the other side of the lodge.

Benji hesitated when they walked past the room they shared with Miranda. They almost turned, then shook their head and walked away, muttering under their breath.

After they’d been changed and returned to the staging area, Miranda still wasn’t awake. A second BWAAAP of the air horn still didn’t result her, and finally Liam went into the lodge and woke her up himself.

She rubbed at her eyes and tried to wake herself up, following confusedly after Liam. “Huh? What time is it?”

“You’re late,” Liam explained, simply. “We’ve got another competition–but first, I’d like you to see what everyone’s been saying about you online!”

Miranda was still waking up, and only frowned at that. “Huh?”

“Katie,” Liam said, “You’ll be pleased to hear you’re talked about quite a bit!”

“Oh, I bet I am,” Katie grinned.

“‘Katie is such a brat’,” Liam read out. “Oh, and another one– ‘Honestly, screw Katie, I think people are just voting for her so they can see her crapping her pants some more!’”

Benji snickered while Katie’s face turned pink.

“Benji, some folks are complementing your integrity in the last round–deciding not to betray Miranda, sort of, won you some popularity.” Turning to face the camera, Liam added, “Those of you at home, don’t forget–if you’ve got something you want to say to the contestants, just use the hashtag, ‘#BiggestBabyOnTheIsland’ and we’ll pass your message along!”

An icon flashed–colorful text, reading, #BiggestBabyOnTheIsland, just in case you hadn’t heard the exact same words come out of the announcer’s mouth.

“But now, for the first competition, we’ve got something simple–an obstacle course that any reasonably competent adult could handle it easy! Too bad our contestants are all a bunch of babies.” He gestured to the curtain behind him, which hid the course from their view. “Just behind this is the course, but no peeking!”

“Don’t I get an advantage?” Katie interjected impatiently.

“That’s right–and since you can’t wait, we can do it now. We’ll be diving you up into pairs for this next one. Katie, go ahead and pick your teammate, and then we’ll show you the course.”

“Sam,” Katie responded immediately. “I want Sam.”

“Alright! Sam, Katie, you’ll be together, and so will Benji and Miranda. All you have to do is reach the end of the obstacle course, and you’ll be granted an advantage in round two. Oh, but there’s just one more thing. You’re going to be doing the course together.”

“Well, yeah,” Sam said. “We’re on teams.”

“That’s…not what he means,” Benji said. “Is it?”

“I’m sure you’ve all had your share of three-legged races,” Liam announced. “Well, this’ll be a three-legged, three-armed race. You’ll have to crawl together if you want a shot at victory, ‘cause if you don’t work in tandem you’ll just end up falling behind!”

The contestants boggled, while a cart was wheeled out with two pairs of booties and two pairs of mittens. Each pair was stitched to its twin, holding them snugly together.

“You can’t cross the start line until you’ve got your mittens and booties on, and if you stand up, you’ve got to start over,” Liam said, catching everyone off guard. “Start begins now!”

As he said it, the curtain fell, revealing a massive inflated playground, the sort that appeared at carnivals. The start was littered with small hills and cones to be navigated around, and it ended with a forty five degree slope with handholds. Already hard to climb in the best of times, it’d be a nightmare while linked arm-to-arm and leg-to-leg with an uncooperative partner.

Sam and Benji both leapt to the cart, ready to start, but their respective teammates took a moment to catch up, unprepared for the action to have already begun.

Reaching the cart first, Sam picks up the mittens, turning one over in her hand to inspect it. Being right-handed, she slipped her left hand into the mitten, cinching the strap. It didn’t lock, but removing it with one hand would be awkward and difficult, and likely in violation of the rules to boot.

Benji didn’t do the inspection, just slipping the mitten on and dropping to one knee so they could slip the bootie over their bare foot.

“Hold it,” Katie said. “I’m right-handed.”

“Well so am I,” Sam said. “One of us was going to get stuck with their dominant hand covered.”

“I’m the team leader,” Katie said.

“You picked me, that doesn’t make you the leader!”

While they bickered, Miranda slid her hand into the mitten. When she knelt to do up her own bootie, she didn’t think about their hands being stuck together and towed Benji down with her.

“Sorry,” she winced.

“Just hurry,” Benji replied.

Bound together, they struggled to lumber to the start line, moving slowly but steadily.

“Dammit!” Sam snapped at Katie. “I already have the mitten on. Just stick your hand in so we can start!”

“Fine,” Katie groaned, finally getting her half of the restraints on.

They darted towards the course, stumbled, fell into a heap. Sam dragged Katie forward on all fours, pulling them to the starting line.

The race was on.