Neonato Ranch - A Regression Story (Chapter 7)

This was a story I was commissioned to write - it features some themes that I don't often explore, and is primarily a slow-burn mental regression story. It's seven chapters long, and this is the last one! If you've come along this far, I hope you've enjoyed it. 

Chapter 6 can be found here. 

Jerry yawned, rolling over in his crib and clutching Mister Horsey tightly. The stuffy was a little lumpy, a little worn with love, a few patches where he’d been ripped, but it was Jerry’s favorite. He liked to snuggle with it every night. Mister Horsey certainly never complained about all the cuddling.

Pulling the covers up tighter, Jerry scooted around and bumped into the bars of his crib. He blinked, opening his eyes a little to look at them.

Something was… off.

The room was the same as it had always been. His crib was in the middle, there was a window on the wall, a big painting of a toddler on a rocking horse hung over the dresser and the changing table. His diaper pail looked to be in need of being taken out, but that didn’t really bother him. He couldn’t place what was wrong.

He frowned, blearily, pulling Mister Horsey closer. The spinning mobile above his crib caught his attention for a few seconds, little toy horses and cows and chickens bobbing up and down in a soothing little pattern, distracting him.

The mobile spun, slowly, morning light casting shadows that danced in a pretty way.

Again, Jerry frowned. He didn’t remember… or… no. This is right. I’m cozy, and Karen will be here soon to wake me up and change my diaper.

Everything was fine. Jerry pulled his blankie closer, clutched Mister Horsey to his chest, and dozed off once again.

He wasn’t sure how much longer it was before Karen did just what he’d expected, but eventually she was there, standing over his crib, gently shaking him awake.

“Nuuuuh…” he protested, softly, wanting to stay in bed.

“It’s time to wake up, sweetie,” Karen said. “A whole new day. Aren’t you excited?”

Jerry rubbed at his eyes, blinking a few times as he woke up. Karen was smiling down at him, and he returned the expression, nodding.

Reaching to the nightstand, Karen picked up his pacifier and extended it, holding out the bulb so that he could take it. Jerry accepted the pacifier, suckling on it happily.

It was a good morning. Everything was good. Jerry had nothing to worry about at all.

Karen dropped the side of the crib and helped him up, squeezing the crotch of his diaper to test how full it was. “Looks like you need a change, lil guy!”

Of course he did - that’s what his nighttime diapers were for, after all! Holding her hand, Jerry got up onto the changing table, tapping his fingers on his chest while Karen went about the process of changing his diaper.

It didn’t take her long - it never did. He went from soggy to dry in under a minute, and then he was back on his feet, stomach grumbling in anticipation of breakfast.

Billy had cooked, as always.

With a hand from Karen, Jerry got up into his high chair. It was an old, wooden thing, hand crafted, painted baby blue, with little ducks decorating the tray. That tray was locked into place, and then Karen scooped up a bowl of oatmeal, adding just a little milk and sprinkling brown sugar over the top to sweeten it.

Before he could eat, of course, he needed his bib. Karen tied it around his neck, doting on him all the while, taking out his pacifier and setting it aside for the moment so she could feed him.

Jerry ate one spoonful at a time. Karen would scoop it up from the bowl, move it towards his mouth, and wait for him to open and accept the food. Most of the oatmeal would end up in his mouth and he’d swallow it down, then repeat the step until he was full.

He was vaguely aware of the big kids eating over at their own table, but they were a separate entity as far as he was concerned. Too grown-up for him to hang out with, and besides, why would he want to?

With the bowl of oatmeal empty, Karen wiped off his face with his bib, and right as she got done with that, Billy passed over a glass bottle full of warm milk.

Excitedly, Jerry suckled on the bottle, the delicious elixir trickling down his throat until he felt warm and cozy and full.

“Good breakfast?” Karen asked, though she already knew the answer.

Setting down his bottle, Jerry nodded, happily.

She smiled, put his pacifier back in, and helped him down from the high chair.

“Now, it’s chore time,” she said, smiling. “So why don’t you go play in the back yard while the grown ups get our work done. Is that okay, Jerry?”

He beamed back up at her, nodding.

She gave him a pat on the butt, and he hurried off on his way, toddling out the back door.

Outside, it was another nice day. Jerry ran around in circles, found a cool stick, played with the dog. He invented fanciful stories in his head, where he was a cowboy or a space man or a superhero. The adults waved whenever they walked by, and he waved back, but he was off in his own universe.

Karen, at least, did more than just wave. When she walked out the back door and passed him, she stopped, strolling over. “Hey there, Jerry. Are you having fun?”

Jerry nodded, enthusiastically.

“Looks like your diaper’s just about full,” she pointed out.

He frowned, shaking his head and taking a step back, avoiding eye contact.

Rolling her eyes, Karen said, “You just don’t want to stop playing so I can change you, huh?”

Sheepishly, he nodded. It was true, and there wasn’t much good in denying it.

“Here…” Karen crouched down, extending her arms and gesturing for him to approach. “Come here, Jerry!”

He wasn’t sure what she was planning, but he obeyed, stepping close enough that she could reach out to him.

Karen undid the tapes, dropping his diaper off his waist and balling it up. “You could use a little time airing out, anyways! Just be sure to find an adult and have them change you into a fresh diaper before you go back inside, okay? We don’t want any accidents on the furniture.”

Jerry jumped up and down, excitedly, happy to get back to playing without any interruptions. While she left, taking the diaper with her so it could be thrown in a waste bin, he just resumed his imaginary games.

The sun drifted across the sky, occasionally shadowed by big, puffy clouds. Idyllic weather. Perfect weather, even. The whole week had been nothing but perfect weather, perfect fun.

Jerry couldn’t have imagined that his trip could have been so… fun.

His... trip?

He hesitated for a moment. His memory was hazy. He’d…

He stood there, confused.

His name was Jerry. He played on the ranch. Karen took care of him, while the big kids learned and the adults kept things running. When he got big, he wanted to be a cowboy.

It felt like something was missing, but he couldn’t imagine what. It was like deja vu.

But… after a minute, he decided it didn’t matter. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why bother worrying about it? He could ask Karen, later, but she didn’t seem worried either, and if she wasn’t worried, why would he be?

He got back to playing. He skipped around the ranch house, ran up to watch the horses gallop when the big kids were riding, just spun in circles until he was dizzy because he could.

Finally, Karen came to collect him.

Bathtime was next. Karen walked him up to her bedroom, filled the tub with lots of bubbles, and got out a couple plastic toy ships for him to play with while he was in the water. It was delightful. He splashed a little, but Karen only chuckled and chided him softly not to make a mess.

It was so much more fun than showering, like he’d been doing when…

“Kawe’?” he asked, frowning.

Karen, who was keeping a watchful eye on him while he was in the tub, knelt down and smiled. “What is it, Jerry?”

“Am I not wemebewigning?” he asked. He struggled with the word, and furrowed his brow, concentrating on it. “Me-wembewing. We… membew… ring.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying, silly,” Karen said, ruffling his hair. “But you’re doing alright. You have nothing to worry about, I promise you.”

“O-tay, buh…” he frowned. There wasn’t a good way to ask his question, because he wasn’t exactly sure what the problem was. Something was just a little… off. “I feew wike I fo-got.”

“Forgot what?” Karen tilted her head. “Your pacifier is on the counter, your stuffie - sorry, ‘Mister Horsey’ - is still in your crib. Is one of your other toys missing?”

“No…” Jeremy said. “I…”

“When the bath is over and you’ve eaten lunch, do you want to ride a horsey for a bit?”

YES! Jerry nodded enthusiastically, grinning ear to ear. “Uh-huh!”

“That’s what I thought you’d say,” Karen smiled. “Now, let’s get some suds on that dirt and get you washed up, okay?”

“And then howsey?”

“And then the horsey!”

Jerry was more than willing to put up with the washing, excitedly waiting for Karen to be done so he could go play cowboy. She still did a thorough job, shampoo and conditioner, washing behind the ears, thorough rinsing, the works - but it went by in a breeze.

While the tub drained, Karen dried him off with a fluffy towel and they walked back to his bedroom so she could get him changed. A fresh, crinkly diaper made sure he wouldn’t have any accidents, and this time she picked out a snug onesie for him to wear, decorated with a drawing of a red barn and a couple cows.

She snapped the buttons on the crotch, then stepped back, smiling. “Now, let’s go get you some food, okay?”

“Bu’, you said howses!” Jerry protested.

“I said you could ride a horsey after you ate,” Karen corrected. “You’re a hungry little mister. Let’s get some food in your belly, okay?”

It was difficult to wait, but he trusted her. Waddling to the kitchen, he got Billy’s help getting into his high chair, and waited to be fed his chicken nuggets.

“Huwwy!” he pleaded, as Billy cut up the nuggets in half and then fed him, one bite at a time, dipping each piece in ketchup before feeding it to Jerry.

“What’s the rush, kiddo?” Billy asked. “Are you that hungry?”

“No,” Jerry said, talking with his mouth full. “Kawen pwomised I could wide after wunch!”

“Oh, well then, I see why it’s so urgent!” Billy smirked. “But you’ve still got to eat all your food, so you can get big and strong, okay?”

“Umph- okay!” Jerry said, grunting a little bit as he leaned forward in his high chair.

Why’s Billy looking at me like that?

For some reason, Billy pinched his nose as he fed Jerry the rest of his nuggets, and when it came time for his lunchtime bottle, he first raised the high chair tray. “Here, buddy, you can drink this on the way.”

“Oh’ de way?” Jerry asked.

“To get your stinky diaper changed, silly!”

Oooh.

He suckled on the bottle as he waddled back to his room, where Billy gave him a hand back up on the changing table. While he drank the warm milk, Billy dealt with his dirty diaper.

“You’re getting a bit of a rash there, Jerry,” he commented. “I think you could use a little more airing out time.”

“O-tay,” Jerry agreed, mostly concerned with drinking his milk.

Once he was wiped clean, Billy pulled his onesie off, folded it up, and said, “Now, wait here. I think Karen’s got a surprise for you.

Nodding, Jerry suckled on the bottle, draining it dry while Billy left to go get her.

When Karen came back, she was pulling a big cardboard box behind her.

That got Jerry’s attention.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Karen said, smiling at him. “Do you want to see it?”

“Uh-huh!” Jerry said.

“It’s an old family heirloom,” Karen added. “But I know you’ll just love it. Close your eyes, and promise not to peek!”

“Buh, I wanna see now!” Jerry protested.

She laughed. “It’ll only take a moment!”

Sighing, he covered his face with his hands, peeking between his fingers.

Chuckling, Karen just let him get away with it, pulling the box free and revealing what was beneath it.

Jerry gasped with delight. A rocking horse! A real, wooden rocking horse, with a soft mane and a handle for him to hold.

“Yay!” he all but screamed, hopping to his feet. “Ca’ I wide it? Pwease?”

Karen held up a finger. “What do we say first?”

“Uh… pwease?” he asked, confused.

“No, not that. When you get a gift, you say…” Karen trailed off, prompting him.

“Oh! Fank ‘ou, Kawen!”

She beamed. “Good boy. You can ride as much as you want.”

Giggling, Jerry got up onto the horse, leaning back and forth. The wood creaked a little, but it was well built, and didn’t wobble or feel unstable at all. He could rock as much as he wanted, as fast as he wanted, and it would handle it like a champ.

“It’s your very own horse,” Karen said, crouching. “Until you’re big enough to ride a real one!”

Jerry just giggled, excitedly rocking. It was a thrill, almost as good as… well, he didn’t know what the real thing was like, but he imagined it was just as good.

“Have yourself some fun,” Karen said. “I’ve got some more work to do, but you can play in here as long as you want, okay? And maybe you can even come up with a name for him!”

“Howsey!” Jerry declared, already set on a name.

“But your stuffie is named Horsey,” Karen pointed out. “Are they both ‘Horsey’?”

“He’f ‘Mistah howsey’!” Jerry corrected. “No’ Howsey!”

“Oh, I see!” Karen chuckled. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

She did, and Jerry enthusiastically rocked back and forth, giggling all the while.

It was the best day ever. He was the happiest he could remember being. It was just him, on Horsey, pretending to be a cowboy.

As he played, he had a thought, one that made him giggle. He looked just like the kid in the painting.