Neonato Ranch - A Regression Story (Chapter 4)

This was a story I was commissioned to write - it features some themes that I don't often explore, and is primarily a slow-burn mental regression story. It's seven chapters long, I'll be posting the complete story over the next couple weeks.

Chapter 3 can be found here.  

The only thing remarkable about Jeremy’s routine in the morning was how unremarkable it was all becoming. After just a few days on the ranch, he already felt like he was starting to get a grasp on things, establish habits, and generally get comfortable.

He rolled out of bed, tossed his wet pullup in the diaper pail Billy had found. Since he’d slept in just the pullup, there was nothing else to take off, he just wandered out of his room and then went to go take a shower. Once he was clean, he dried off, went back to his room, put on a fresh pullup, pants, and went out to get breakfast.

In true form, Billy had breakfast ready to go. This morning it was waffles, flakey and crispy and perfectly cooked, and Jeremy just about jumped with excitement when he smelled them.

Glancing up from the iron, Billy spotted Jeremy walk in and smiled at him. “Morning, Jerry. You look like you slept good!”

Yawning, Jeremy nodded agreeably. “I don’t know where you all get your mattresses, but I’ve been sleeping like a log these past few days.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.” Billy slid two waffles onto a plate, cut a pat of butter over each, and then drizzled syrup from a carafe. Pushing the plate towards Billy, he said, “Eat up!”

Jeremy didn’t comment on how he had been served, instead of just being expected to set up his own plate. He wasn’t going to complain about any special treatment, not when it was the positive kind. Taking his plate, he glanced at the table, looked for a seat, and walked to the right end.

Most of the temporary hands were clustered on the left end of the long table, chatting or just eating together, but it wasn’t like Jeremy really wanted to engage in conversation. He was hungry, and his first priority was scarfing down the delicious looking waffles that Billy had prepared.

When he sat, he realized he’d forgotten to grab a fork, but that wasn’t much of a concern. The waffles pulled apart easily by hand, and he could just eat them with his fingers, running the simple dish through the sweet, sticky syrup on his plate and wolfing it down.

“Hey now, champ,” Billy said, glancing over after a minute. “You need a towel over there?”

Jeremy paused, glancing up at him. “Huh?”

“You’ve got about a gallon of syrup on your face,” Billy chuckled. Picking up a wash rag from the sink, he walked over, taking the liberty of rubbing the damp cloth on Jeremy’s face, wiping away the accrued syrup.

“I- mmph!” Jeremy protested, pushing his hand away. “I can do it myself!”

Rolling his eyes, Billy handed him the rag. “Okay then, do it.”

Flushing, Jeremy wiped his hands and face clean, pushing away the empty plate. “Thanks for breakfast.”

The most important thing this morning was making sure to get done eating quickly. Today, for once, he actually had a chance to take off his wet morning pullup, change into another one for the day’s chores, and then get dressed and head off to start working.

The horses were all familiar to him by now, even if he couldn’t place most of them by name. The shy ones, the fussy ones, the ones that you could give a few rubs on their head and they’d be friendly. He made conversation with them as he swept the place up with the push broom, making jokes that nobody but he could hear.

It was nice. Meditative, almost, though he didn’t really go in for actual meditation. Still… if it was like this for some people, he could see the appeal.

The morning slipped away at a comfortable rate. At some point he wet in his pullup, which he only noticed by the slight squelch when he moved. No big deal, he was making good time, he’d be able to change before riding.

While he was scooping out the manure, though, he felt a pressure in his gut, telling him he needed the potty again. Without really thinking about it, Jeremy squatted down, spread his legs, and puffed up his cheeks, taking care of business.

These really are more convenient than hoofing it all the way to the bathroom, he thought, as he pushed out the mush, filling up the seat of the pullup. It sagged in his trousers, and he stood, and… paused.

“Wait…” he mumbled out loud, realizing his mistake. He’d gotten so used to relying on the pullups as his primary source of ‘potty’ that he hadn’t really considered what they were designed for.

Or, for that matter, that there was no way he was going to be able to hide this accident.

The smell wasn’t too bad. His pullup was stinky, sure, but he was shoveling manure. The distinction wasn’t huge.

However, when Billy changed the trash bag in Jeremy’s diaper pail, he’d be sure to notice the poopy pullup inside. Jeremy was going to need to find another way to dispose of… it…

“Um…” he said, looking at the open doors. “Hi, Karen!”

She waved as she walked in. “How are you doing, Jerry?”

“Oh… y’know...” he shuffled uncomfortably, trying not to squish the load in his pullup, and his face had to be telling the whole story because Karen raised an eyebrow immediately.

Walking a few steps closer, she started to ask, “What did you-” and then her nose wrinkled and she sighed. “Oh, Jerry, you didn’t even try?”

“I di…” he didn’t even bother finishing the lie. “I’m sorry, Miss Karen, I just wasn’t paying attention, and… well, it just sort of happened.” He blushed, avoiding eye contact with her. “I’ll do better next time!”

She shook her head, gentle reproach in her tone. Karen wasn’t upset, but she didn’t believe him for a second. “Will you? Or will you just keep having accidents?”

“I…” Jeremy didn’t know how to answer. He wanted to start using the potty again like a big boy, but the track record made him feel incapable. “I want to try.”

“Jerry,” Karen tsk’ed, shaking her head. “We both know you are having trouble here. I think it’s time that we start taking your protection more seriously, until you’re ready to try potty training again.”

He felt ashamed, but not of his accident. He just didn’t like disappointing Miss Karen. “Okay, if you think that’s best.”

She nodded, gently taking his hand. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, Jerry.”

Jeremy waddled behind her, out of the barn and back to the ranch house, blushing every time he felt his mess squelch between his thighs.

Instead of going to the bathroom like he’d expected, though, Karen just walked him past it, stopping by the laundry room so she could speak quietly to Billy. After exchanging a few quiet words, while Jeremy just stood awkwardly in the hall, she came back out, took his hand, and walked him the rest of the way to his room.

“Lay down, Jerry,” she instructed, walking to his dresser. He obeyed, moving aside the covers on his bed so he could lay down on the plastic sheet. After retrieving a couple things, Karen walked over to his bed, pulling his boots free, dropping them on the ground.

Next she bent over, unbuttoning his pants and tugging them gently down, folding them and setting the trousers aside. For his pullup, to avoid making a mess, she gripped one side with both hands and ripped it, repeating the process on the other end, and slipped the whole thing free from under his bottom.

Then, she picked up the box of baby wipes she’d retrieved from his dresser. Jeremy frowned. When did those get there?

Taking out a cool wipe, she started cleaning him up, taking her time and ensuring that she got every little bit of stinky muck that was clinging between his thighs.  The wipes were cool, but they weren’t cold, and it felt nice on his bare skin.

“It looks like your rash is starting to get a little better, but I’m still worried about it,” she commented. “I think you need a little more time to air out, Jerry. Sit up?”

He obeyed, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and Karen crouched to pull a pair of felt boots onto his feet. They were soft and comfy, though he was worried they wouldn’t be quite as heavy duty as his good rubber ones.

There wasn’t room in his tone to argue. If Karen said he was going to air out, then he’d be spending another day riding naked, then that’s what he’d be doing.

Once the boots were snugly on his feet, he stood, blushing as Karen looked him up and down.

“That’ll do for today,” she commented, smirking.

Jeremy blinked. “What?”

“Nothing to worry your little head about, Jerry,” Karen said, ruffling his hair. “Let’s get out to the yard.”

She held his hand and walked him back outside at a pace that felt just a touch awkward. A little faster than his normal walking pace, but not quite a walk, making it a struggle to keep up. He felt exposed once they stepped outside, but the cool air did feel nice on his skin, Karen had been right about that.

For once, he wasn’t late to riding lessons, though he was only exactly on time, showing up with the teacher. The other students, all more seasoned and experienced than they’d been on day one, had already let out the horses, and were getting them saddled and situated.

“Afternoon, everyone,” Karen said, addressing the group. “I’m really proud of how you’ve all progressed. Today we’re going to be doing some exercises to work on your form. I’ve noticed a couple bad habits forming, and we’d do well to nip those in the bud.”

Standing shyly behind Karen, Jeremy looked around at the other students, noticing something odd. Quietly, he got Karen’s attention and asked, “Er, what’s Billy doing here?”

“Oh, I asked him for some help with you so I could focus more on the students,” Karen explained, simply.

“The students?” Jeremy raised his eyebrows. That didn’t make sense - he was a student, wasn’t he?

“That’s right,” Karen replied, waving over to Billy, who led over an old, steady horse that was already saddled and ready to go. “Billy, can you take over here?”

“Of course, Karen,” Billy said, smiling at Jeremy. “Alright, sport, lets get you up in the saddle!”

Jeremy was confused, but he didn’t want to argue with the adults… with the teachers. Accepting Billy’s hand, he got up onto the saddle, settling comfortably on the leather.

“Now, I bet you want to go fast, huh?” Billy said, encouragingly, as Karen walked away to talk to the others.

“Huh?” Jeremy frowned, catching up to the question. “I mean, er… yeah. That’d be cool.”

“Okay!” Bill took the horse’s reins, pulling it along at what was really only a light jog, but Jeremy hadn’t been expecting it so he wobbled a little before getting steady. “You’re doing great, sport!”

The encouragement was nice, but Jeremy was distracted watching the other students. Karen was giving them hands on lessons, training them on their posture, their grip, while he was getting a guided trot around the yard.

Are they really that much better than me? He thought, blushing. Sure, he’d been late a few times, he’d had a few accidents, but… It hadn’t been that bad, had it?

Billy noticed his uncertainty and slowed. “You alright there, Jerry? Was I going too fast?”

“No, I just… never mind,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. He didn’t want to voice his concern out loud, and have Billy confirm what he was afraid of. “I’m alright.”

“Sure you are, sport. Ready to keep going?”

Blushing, Jeremy nodded.

Despite his frustration, it was still fun to ride. He got to sit up high, moving fast, feeling the horse do the work beneath him. It was a chance to play cowboy, even if someone else was doing all the work of leading and guiding his route.

He almost didn’t notice the accident, until Billy pointed it out.

“Whoa there, buddy!” Billy declared, half concerned, half amused.

“What?” Jeremy asked, looking down. Blushing, he realized he’d started trickling urine onto the saddle without even thinking about it. “Oh, jeez, I’m sorry-”

“It’s alright, sport, the saddle’s waterproof and this guy doesn’t mind,” Billy said, patting the horse on the neck. “But lets get you down from there and cleaned up, okay?”

“... yeah,” Jeremy said, his cheeks pink. He couldn’t even stop peeing while they talked, even though he tried.

Billy helped him down, and they walked back towards the barn, horse in tow, passing by Karen and the other students on the way. “Jerry had a little accident,” Billy explained, simply. “We’re gonna go get him cleaned up.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Karen smiled. “Jerry, when you’re done, wait for me in you’re room and I’ll help you get dressed?”

I can get dressed myself, Jeremy thought, but he didn’t voice the idea. He just walked with Billy, standing by awkwardly as he first wiped down the saddle with a shop towel, led the horse back to its stable, and then finally walked Jeremy by the hand back towards the ranch house.

He at least let Jeremy take a shower by himself, though Billy did insist on helping him take off his boots. Once he was rinsed clean, washed, and dried, Jeremy toddled back to his room to wait.

This is stupid, he thought, sitting on his bed, kicking his legs. Just get dressed. You’re an adult, you can do it yourself.

But, despite his internal protests, Miss Karen had told him to wait, so he was going to wait.

It wasn’t that long of a wait, anyways. Fifteen or twenty minutes went by, he wasn’t sure, and then she was there, smiling her sunny smile.

“You’re such a good boy,” Karen said, smiling, as she walked in. “Thank you for being patient, Jerry.”

“I mean… yeah,” Jeremy blushed, crossing his hands over his lap in a completely pointless attempt at modesty.

Karen only smiled, waltzing over to the dresser and producing powder, wipes, and a fluffy white diaper.

Wait, huh?

Jeremy had only a second to be confused before Karen was standing next to him, gently pushing on his chest until he laid down on the bed. “Spread your legs and lift your hips, dear,” she said, waiting for him to take his hands away and obey.

Confused, he did as he was told, and Karen slid the diaper beneath him without comment. It was as though she didn’t find anything unusual about this situation, as though he hadn’t been wearing big boy underwear just a few days earlier.

He couldn’t stay silent anymore. “Um, Karen?”

“What is it, sweetie?” she asked, as she opened the tube of baby powder, sprinkling a little on her hand and more on his thighs.

“I don’t need diapers,” he explained, sheepishly, as she rubbed the softly sweet-smelling powder into his skin, her touch gentle.

She laughed, gently. “Jerry, what did I catch you doing in the barn this morning?”

“Erm…” he blushed, not wanting to answer.

Karen stopped what she was doing, her tone hardening just a touch. “Answer me when I ask you a question, Jerry.”

“I…” Bright pink, he stammered out his response. “I went poop in my pullup.”

“That’s right,” Karen confirmed, closing the powder tube. “And when’s the last time you made it to the potty for number one?”

“Erm… A couple days,” Jeremy admitted. “But…”

“No ‘But’s. You’re clearly having troubles, so until we get your potty training all settled, you’re going to be in diapers, mister.” Karen folded the padding over him, holding it in place and securing the tapes down as she did so. “If you can’t tell when you need to go to the potty, you don’t get to argue about your diapers.”

It was a stupid rule, but Jeremy couldn’t argue it. The diapers would mean fewer leaks, and he wouldn’t have to worry about any other problems. Besides, adults wore diapers sometimes too, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

“Now, butts up, let’s get you dressed,” Karen declared, smiling as she walked back to his dresser.

I can dress…  myself… Jeremey started to think, but the consistent protest no longer sounded reasonable even to him. He just sat there on the bed, while Karen picked out a shirt, pants, and a pair of sandals for him to wear.

She brought them over, unfolded the pants, and held them up. “Legs?”

He did as instructed, putting his legs into the pants and scooting so she could pull them all the way up and button them in place.

“Arms up!” she added, holding up the shirt, a light blue tee that fit loosely once she pulled it over him, hanging down enough that it would hopefully cover the waistband of his diaper.

The sandals slipped on easily, and he was all dressed and ready to go.

Karen beamed. “You look like such a big boy. Just let me know when you need a change, alright?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jeremy said, getting to his feet, feeling the diaper rustle between his legs.

He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was starting to worry that he wouldn’t know when he would need a change, and wouldn’t think to ask.

It’s alright, he realized, smiling. Karen will notice before I do. I’ve got nothing to worry about.