DON´T BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF

Well… this is a story about my self-discovery and I am happy that I can share this with you. My name is Chris and it all started when I was a teenager. And I am happy that it came this early because not everybody is that lucky and I am grateful for it. I remember the whole day and how it all started. It was the summertime and the school was over for me for two months and I wanted to enjoy the two free months as much as possible. Well… who wouldn´t, right? My parents were far from home because they had to go to Texas because of their job so I was at home alone with my older sister. She was 22 years old and she was a very pretty girl. And she was studying some kind of fashion in college and she was really into it. She had a wardrobe full of costumes, dresses, tops, skirts, and a lot more…

One day she told me that she would go out with her friends and if I am okay with being at home alone. Of course… what could be better than being at home alone. That is something that every teenager wants I guess. But… I think that almost every teenager would use this opportunity to make a quick party at home with friends or… just do some forbidden things… But it wasn´t my case. Back then I thought that I am just weird… But the moment my sister left home… a huge desire appeared in my heart. I just didn´t know why, but I felt a strong desire to go to my sister´s room. And all in all… why couldn´t I go there? There was nobody at our home and my sister will be long gone with her friends so nobody can catch me. And what is wrong with coming to your sister´s room.

I opened the room of her room and the first thing I felt was a very strong feminine perfume. But of course… She used it just before she went out with her friends. It was a very sweet and strong perfume… it smelled really girly and I don´t know why… but I just liked it. It was a strange smell, but I can´t say that it was something uncomfortable for me. I looked at her table and there were a lot of makeup tools… I could see several lipsticks and nail polish there. There was also mascara and some eyeshadows. And a lot more things that I even don´t know and had no idea how to use it.

It was strange but it was kind of fascinating to me. The makeup was a kind of art and I was an art lover and I think that doing a good makeup is very good art. But then my attention was caught with her great wardrobe. And I still had no idea what I was even doing in her room and it felt like I was just a passenger there. Suddenly, I opened her great wardrobe and you can't even imagine how many pieces of clothes were there. You just cannot imagine it. I wouldn´t be able to count it because there was just everything. She had so many outfits and at that moment I almost envied her. She could choose so many combinations and outfits for every day. And I would love to have such an option.

But then it came… I had no idea why I had done it, but I just touched one of her dresses. It was a blue dress and it was quite tight and short. I mean… short for my sister, but I was still a little bit smaller than she, and I would have them just under my knees. But when I touched the dress… I could feel the flame of desire to try this dress on. I had no idea where I grabbed this idea, but I was just feeling such a strong desire to try that dress on.

And in one minute I was already trying to imagine how to put the dress on. And in another minute I was already holding the blue dress in my hand and I was trying to put it on. And of course that it took me several minutes to figure it out but after five minutes I had the blue dress on my body and you can´t even imagine the feeling I had.

It was such a relief and I felt so good at that moment. I just had to admit to myself that I probably love to wear girly clothes and it was the truth… I really loved that and know… I have it confirmed. I went just in front of the mirror and I looked at myself. It was a very strange look because everything apart from the clothes I wore… was boyish. I looked like a boy dressed in girly clothes… But somewhere deep in my heart… I really wanted to look like a girl and it was this moment when I realized that. I realized this fact when I was standing in front of the mirror and while I was looking at myself and asking myself how I look. And while I was enjoying the girly dress on my body… something happened. Suddenly, I heard some voices in the hall, and at that moment… I was just frozen… I wasn´t able to move. If somebody would see me like this… I just can´t even imagine it… And guess what… Of course, it was her sister and she brought her friends. That is going to be a disaster for me. I could hear how they were closing the room where I was, but I was so nervous that I was really unable to move and run away.

“Chris… are you here?” I heard my sister, but she had no idea that I was in her room. And I was even unable to answer… I was just standing there and I felt helpless. And soon, I heard my sister´s steps just behind the door. She was coming… I had no idea what to do… I wanted to run away or just disappear but neither of that was possible. And it was here… the door was just opened and my sister came here. And of course… the first thing she saw was me in her blue dress. She was staring at me for a while and I could see that she was shocked… She didn´t expect anything like this. My cheeks were red as tomatoes and I wasn´t able to say a word.

“Chris?” she said after a while and she was still staring at me. “Why are you wearing my dress?”

“I… ehm… I am… sorry I…” I mumbled and I almost started crying. My sister saw my embarrassment and then she finally understood.

“Oh… I see…” she said with a lot more kind and calm voice. She came right to me and she hugged me. And it was the best thing she could have done at that moment.

“Hey… it´s ok. YOU DON´T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF!” she told me and it such a calming sentence… And then… she looked at me and she asked me:

“So… since you are already wearing a blue dress… what about the whole makeover? Would you like it?”

OMG… THAT WAS EXACTALY MY DESIRE. I just nodded… Of course I would like to do the whole makeover.

“You will be the prettiest girl all around the world!” giggled my sister and then… IT ALL STARTED…