New Beginnings

Four days into the new year, and I already have a newfound sense of self. Oddly enough, I received my period a week early. What a strange, peculiar thing, indeed. For those of you who are new, blood is my source of joy, inspiration, and creativity. I do not stray from its appearance, smell, taste. It is us, at our source, and the reason why we are alive. If you’re sensitive to blood, please be cautioned. If you’re staying, thank you for understanding and respecting my admiration.

I sincerely hope that this year will be a time of rejoice. Last year wasn’t a bad year at all until the end. Sadly, I had different intentions for how it transpired, but life is a cruel mistress, amongst other things completely out of our hands. Paimon has instructed me to shed what parts of me were rotted. It’s weird how things happen. The older I’m getting, the more I really do believe that there is a predestination somewhere on the horizon. I don’t wholly believe that we are destined for failure, but I believe it is our job to find it somewhere along the way. When we pray…to whomever…we pray for strength, patience, faith, guidance.

These aren’t gifted to us in a tangible form, but a test in which we have to deduce a lesson. I still wholeheartedly believe my accident was a test, and where I certainly had wavering moments of doubt, I strongly stayed the course and (hopefully) recourse to the finish line.

I know I learned who was there. I found out that my sister basically could give one fuck about me, and if she does care, it’s unacceptable, and I dont accept ghosting or waiting for “someone to reach out first” as a logical approach to any situation. When you care or love—it’s automatic; there is no hesitation or debate.

Regardless, I think last year was an important test for a lot of us on here. I’ve watched so many of you pushed to your limits and risen above the flames. Hell, maybe that’s why we all congregated together in that respect. Maybe we were all out here because something needed to show us family.

I don’t know anything, and if I did, I wouldn’t know it until the opportunity presented itself. I guess that’s life, innit? I guess, we will just have to find out, friends.