How the Fuck Am I Not Dead?

You know, I owe you so much. I can honestly say that when I first started this move, I was a bit scared. Not because I didn't think I wouldn't survive, but because it was BIG change in a short amount of time. Now that I finally have a home again (haven't left Florida yet) and things have sort of settled down--I'm optimistic as a mofo about all this. It's been over 15 years since I've lived in the Volunteer State. It's surreal...I've always talked about going back home, but it never came to fruition. My mom would often times call me out on my bullshit about moving back, but this time...this time it's happening.

And, in the midst of packing up my home, my pigs, and my livelihood--I've somehow managed to partake in yet another music video. Which all this sincerely poses the question: why the fuck am I not dead? A bit dramatic--I know, but as the Soundgarden lyrics state, "Nothing seems to kill me, no matter how hard I try."

Things do seem to happen for a reason, and while it's definitely easy to say that, you don't realize it until a situation hits you smack in the face. And then there are you all. My home, my family, my friends, and the people who I have poured my heart and soul out to in the hopes that someone would listen...and you all have. It's weird to think that this community of creatives, artists, musicians, poets, weirdos and pariahs have developed into a circle of good memories and friends. My bullshit aside, I see so many of you all flourishing in your lives and overcoming obstacles in your own ways. You're not quitters and I never expected any of you to be. I know in my heart of hearts all of you are some tough-ass bastards, and perhaps that's why I put so much stock into the things I write. I know it will never fall on deaf ears no matter how loud the noise seems to get.

So, I can say thank you all day, and it will always mean something, but rather...thank you for your existence in my weird, little world. Stardom can suck a fuck; I'd much rather be the general leading the battle to victory.