A Gift from Paimon

How deep is your spirituality?

How deep do you believe in something or someone, to the point that you’re willing to go that extra step?

I don’t know much about faith, and I certainly would never say that I’m a religious person, but lately…things seem strange.

I have a lot of people ask me questions everyday about what I believe, and to mist’s surprise, no:

I am not a Satanist.

And I’m really not. While I do follow the Left Hand Path vehemently, I do also follow the Right simultaneously. I’m a devout practitioner in the black arts, with Paimon as my chief patron, and on the other hand, I follow the teachings of Jesus pre-crucifixiction. When I say that, what I mean is, when Jesus walked Jerusalem as a rabbi.

At any rate, most Satanists don’t like the fact that I associate myself with the antithesis of black, Jesus, but frankly, I don’t care. Satanism, at least in my eyes, spawned out of Christianity; therefore, one cannot exist without the other. As much as Christians denounce Lucifer, the djinns of old, and demons from tales past…they exist as one. Most people cannot comprehend that dark and light need each other to flourish. I will say that one certainly does tend to lean more towards a certain path, but that does not mean you have to fit a certain look, aesthetic, or practice cruel behavior to fit.

In fact, I discovered that Paimon was my patron after I decided that Satanism was not for me. My relationship with him is very open, supportive, and kind. Paimon is a very mighty entity that serves under Lucifer fiercely, loyally, and undying. It is my belief that he is Lucifer’s most loyal Prince, but one can speculate depending on their patron.

Whereas Satanism tends to focus on nihilism and indulgence, my reverence for Lucifer is on a more astral level. Lucifer is the Morning Star; he is the light, knowledge, and possessor of great knowledge—much like his Prince Paimon. The reason why I follow Paimon and felt most bonded to him was simply for this fact: knowledge.

As you all know, I had a very checkered past, and there were choices in life that I’m not proud of. It’s life, and life has a tendency to kick you in the ass and make you humble really fast. Well, I guess you could say that I went on a path to self-discovery…and I found Paimon. I’ve always wanted to improve myself each day; I want to be a better person for the sake of myself. After escaping the turmoil in my life, I truly wanted to learn, ascend, and rise to become the Cory I am now. And, I can honestly say, Paimon has taught me the patience to see beyond my own eyes and wait, watch, learn, and grow.

It’s not easy to grow at all. I’ll be the first to admit that it took me seven years of being manipulated to get it. I was lying, cheating, stealing, and hurting other people that cared for me to protect people that…in the end…would ultimately stab me in the back. Well, that’s history, but it did teach me one thing:

Weakness.

I was weak; I thought I was mentally strong and tough, but in reality, I was a piece of shit with nothing but carnage in my hands. You all know the story; and you all know how long it took me to grow and heal from the sorrow that transpired. I asked Jesus for the strength to go on when I wanted to die many times. It’s funny when you think about it. When you’re at your wits end, you suddenly are put into a position where you’re thinking more about what’s beyond that veil, and that’s the scariest fucking thing, isn’t it? Well, In the midst of it all, I needed to harden. I needed someone to teach me how to be the torch-bearer in the dark. Jesus is a light, yes, but I needed the darkness to appreciate the light. And then there he was, Paimon.

Paimon has taught me how to be a better person, along with the teachings of Jesus. I’ve asked for tests of patience and, my friends, it fucking sucks, but he does not give you tests with the intent of an easy pass. People don’t realize that when you ask for patience and strength, you are met with challenges made to help you grow and become stronger. I don’t think I would have learned how to endure if it wasn’t for the tests I’ve been given.

And, you know what’s funny? I don’t think Norway would have happened, but I asked for patience and a test of strength…what happened, happened, and my heart was sunk. However, if it wasn’t for you all, I would not have gotten to go. That was my test. My test was patience, and though I failed it miserably…it taught me to have more faith in my friends and family when things are hard.

So, I hope this little excerpt gives you a wee-bit of perspective. Growth is within us and certainly attainable. I believe that we all are capable of so much power, and I know you all have the ability to tap into it no matter which avenue you follow. 💜