Too Pretty to be a Boy -4- by Lajien

“Siri, who’s calling?” I asked, glancing down at my phone.

“Ms. Hart,” Siri replied.

My eyes went wide in surprise. Ms. Hart had been my violin teacher since I was five years old, more like family than a teacher at this point. I quickly grabbed the phone. “Ms. Hart, it’s so nice to hear from you! How are you?” I asked eagerly. It had only been four days since my last lesson, but I already missed her.

“I’m doing fine, Carl. Though, I must say, it’s not quite the same without my best student,” Ms. Hart’s familiar voice made me smile but also blush a little. Over the years, she’d often called me things like “genius” and “prodigy,” giving me the kind of confidence no one else had. “But as much as it pains me to let you go, I’ve made an important decision for your future. I’ve found a new teacher for you, someone I trust completely. Her name is Ms. Caldwell, and she’s an excellent instructor. I’ve already arranged for you to meet her next week at the Colburn School.”

That hit me harder than I expected. Colburn was one of the best music academies in the country, but the thought of having a new teacher upset me. Ms. Hart was the one who helped me develop my talent from the start. She was the one who gave me the encouragement I needed—alongside Johnny and my parents. “But Ms. Hart, I don’t want another teacher. I don’t think anyone else can teach me the way you do,” I protested softly, not ready to let go.

She sighed gently. “I understand, Carl, but this is for your benefit and your growth. Ms. Caldwell will help you in ways I can’t now. We’re too far apart for me to continue your lessons, and that’s the reality of it. Ms. Caldwell is someone I trust, and I know she’s the right person to take you further. So, go with an open mind, do your best, and make me proud.”

I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. “Yes, ma’am. I will make you proud,” I promised. After we said our goodbyes, I sat there for a moment, staring at my violin. I began setting up my saxophone and guitar, but something pulled me back to the violin. It was always my comfort, my escape when I was feeling overwhelmed, and right now, I really needed that.

I started playing, losing myself in the music like I always did, but then my phone rang again, interrupting my thoughts. “So much for playing the violin,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. I grabbed my phone, half-expecting another call about something I wasn’t ready to deal with.

But when I saw Angela’s name pop up, I couldn’t help but smile. “Hi, Angy, what’s up?” I asked as I picked up.

“Hey, Carl. Aunt Lil said you might need some company. Should I come over?” Angela asked.

I couldn’t believe how thoughtful Mom had been. She always knew Angela could cheer me up. Moving in with my mom had meant leaving Johnny and Dad behind for most of the time, but it also meant I didn’t have to deal with the two baboons back home.

“Actually, maybe I can come over instead? I haven’t seen Aunt Carol or Abby in a while,” I suggested. Abby, or Abigail as she was formally called, was Angela’s older sister and around Johnny’s age. She was cool, one of the best siblings someone could have—well, besides Johnny, who would always be my number one.

“Hold on, let me ask Mom,” Angela said, her excitement clear in her voice as she ran to check with Aunt Carol. I could hear her footsteps and then, suddenly, an ear-piercing squeal. “Mom says you can come over!” she shouted excitedly.

The Jaegers were like a second family to me, and I had spent as much time at their house as my own. I quickly messaged Mom to let her know I was heading over, then made the short walk to Angela’s house, which was almost identical to ours. I rang the doorbell, and before I could even put my hand down, Angela opened the door.

“Carl, come in!” she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside. Their house felt familiar, yet different from ours, with its unique decorations. “Mom and Abby are in the backyard,” she added, leading the way.

In the backyard, Abby and Aunt Carol were watering the flowers. The family had a habit of growing different types of flowers from different regions all around the world. I was never that interested in it, but I did help them whenever I was around.

“Carl, honey, it’s nice to see you again,” Aunt Carol greeted, not wasting time to take me in a hug. She had always been like a second mom to me. She was as supportive as Mom had always been, and she did help me whenever I was around after my parents went through the divorce.

“You too, Aunt Carol,” I replied, returning the hug. It felt nice to see her again after a long time, which was one of the positive things about living here. Not having to live with these baboons is definitely one of them.

“I told you that you need to stop getting taller every time I see you,” teased Abby. Abby and Angy were tall for girls their age, but I always had an inch over Angy, and seeing my mom and my dad’s side of the family, she could tell I was going to be taller than her. She was the only person in the world who could find anything to tease me with.

Also, what I like the most about her is that she can stop my two baboons of brothers with one word. I always liked that about her. Unlike Johnny, she didn’t even need to lift a finger. Apparently, she used to help John watch over them, and she was better at keeping the two demons in place.

“It’s nice To see you again, Abby,” I replied with a chuckle. It was nice to see them again.

I started helping them water the flowers and take care of the Garden.I was never into gardening, but I had fun doing it with them.
After a while, we all went inside to have some juice aunt Carol made. She also made us some snacks as we sat inside, escaping the heat.

“You know Angy can hide secrets from anyone but not from me, so what’s bothering you, Carl? If it's Dicky and Peter, I can always teach them a lesson,” Abby asked with a hint of a threat in her tone. Abby was always a badass, she would take a guy Johnny’s size without even petting an eye. If she wanted to have Dicky and Peter on her lap and spank them, she would. And they were usually the reason that bothered me most of the time.

There was no way I could hide things from Abby, maybe from Jonny, but Abby would know, and she wouldn’t let me hide it. I let out a sigh, and looked  Abby in her eyes. “I have been trying to hide this, but the doctor confirmed it today, I… I’m a GCS girl, and if I don’t start living as a girl, they will take me away from mom, and I will probably end up in a foster home,” I admitted with tears filling my eyes. It felt like everything came crashing down, and my tears wouldn’t stop.

I could only calm down after I felt a hug from Aunt Carol. “It’s all right honey, everything will be ok, I am sure of it; why don’t you tell us everything in detail? You know we’re family, right?”

I sniffled a bit and nodded. Then I started explaining everything that happened that day. All my fears about the unknown came out, and the threat of Mom losing custody of me was scary. I didn’t want to end up living with Dickey and Peter again, or worse, in a foster home if the CPS determined that I was not doing enough. From what I heard, it happens pretty frequently.

“Honey, all these are reasonable fears, but you can’t let it consume you,” Aunt Carol explained, holding my hand. She looked me in the eyes and gave me a reassuring smile. “Tell you what? I have been promoted recently to be a CPS supervisor. I am going to keep an eye on your case personally; how about this?” she reassured me, making me smile.

“We will also help you in any way we can; I am sure you will make a cute girl,” Abby joined in, and Angela nodded, making my smile widen. It felt good to have them by my side.

I walked home with Angela it felt comforting having her by my side. “I can’t believe I let Abby do this,” I exclaimed. Abby had convinced me to try on some of her old clothes. Nothing crazy, just a tunic top, denim shorts, and black tights. She also talked me into having my makeup done. Saying no to Abby was not an option. I have to say, though, these clothes look better on me, especially those shorts.

“You can never say no to Abby,” Angela giggled while I glared at her. “Imagine me wanting to wear some makeup; Mom would definitely not allow it; my dad doesn’t want me to grow up; only Abby can help me; she’s an awesome sister,” Angela bragged. Well, she had every right to brag.

“Hi, Ang, is that you?” A voice called, followed by the sound of a motorcycle engine.

I know this sound and I hope I am wrong, but what is he doing here? He’s supposed to be in New York. I was not ready to meet him looking like that. I turned around, and sure thing, there he was, on his favorite motorcycle. Johnny in all of his glory. Sitting behind him was that bitch, Chrystal. The only person who gets to treat my brother as an ATM machine.

Johnny’s motorcycle came to a stop, the engine rumbling softly before he killed it. He pulled off his helmet, his jet-black hair slightly messy, and flashed that familiar, easygoing smile that always made me feel safe. But then my eyes landed on Chrystal, perched behind him like she owned the place. She was wearing one of those ridiculously expensive leather jackets Johnny had bought her last Christmas, and her perfectly manicured nails were gripping his shoulders like she was afraid to let go.

“Carl?” Johnny’s voice was warm but laced with surprise as he took in my appearance. His grey eyes flicked from my face to the tunic top, denim shorts, and black tights I was wearing. For a moment, he just stared, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a grin spread across his face. “Well, look at you. You’ve been busy.”

I felt my cheeks burn. This was not how I wanted Johnny to find out about everything. I crossed my arms defensively, trying to hide as much of myself as possible. “What are you doing here, Johnny? You’re supposed to be in New York.”

Johnny shrugged, his grin never fading. “I got a basketball scholarship at UCLA. Starting next semester, I’ll be here full-time. I was close by today and thought I’d swing by to check on you.” He glanced at Chrystal, who was busy fixing her hair in the reflection of Johnny’s helmet. “And Chrystal got a scholarship, too. She’s… tagging along.”

“Great,” I muttered under my breath. Chrystal was the kind of person who always had to be the center of attention. She was pretty, sure, but she was also shallow, materialistic, and completely wrong for Johnny. Yet, for some reason, he kept her around. Probably because she was good at batting her eyelashes and saying all the right things.

Chrystal finally noticed me and let out a high-pitched squeal. “Oh my God, Carl! Is that you? You look so… different!” She hopped off the motorcycle and strutted over, her heels clicking on the pavement. She tilted her head, studying me like I was some kind of science experiment. “Are you, like, into cross-dressing now? Because you’re totally rocking it.”

I clenched my fists, trying to keep my temper in check. “It’s not cross-dressing, Chrystal. It’s… complicated.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow, his grin fading into a more serious expression. “Complicated how?”

Before I could answer, Chrystal let out a mocking laugh. “Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re actually trying to be a girl now. That’s just… weird.”

I felt my face heat up, but before I could respond, Johnny’s voice cut through the air like a whip. “Chrystal.”

She turned to him, her smile faltering under his glare. “What? I’m just saying—”

“No,” Johnny said, his tone firm and unyielding. “You’re not ‘just saying’ anything. That’s my little brother you’re talking to, and you don’t get to talk to him like that. Ever.”

Chrystal blinked, clearly taken aback. “Johnny, I was just—”

“I don’t care what you were ‘just,’” Johnny interrupted, his voice low and dangerous. “There’s a coffee shop across the street. Why don’t you go wait for me there?”

Chrystal’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, but she knew better than to argue with Johnny when he used that tone. She shot me one last glare before stomping off, her heels clicking angrily against the pavement.

Johnny watched her go, his jaw clenched, before turning back to me. His expression softened immediately. “Sorry about that. She’s… a lot.”

I shrugged, trying to play it cool, but I couldn’t help feeling a little relieved. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

Johnny’s eyes narrowed. “You shouldn’t have to be.” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a more serious tone. “Now, tell me what’s going on. And don’t say it’s nothing, because I know you better than that.”

I took a deep breath, glancing at Angela for support. She gave me an encouraging nod, stepping closer to stand by my side. “Go on, Carl,” she said softly. “He’s your brother. He’ll understand.”

I nodded, feeling a little more confident with Angela beside me. “I… I’m a GCS girl, Johnny,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “The doctor confirmed it today. If I don’t start living as a girl, CPS could take me away from Mom.”

For a moment, Johnny just stared at me, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he pulled me into a tight hug. “Carl,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I buried my face in his shoulder, feeling the tears I’d been holding back finally spill over. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” I choked out, my voice trembling. “I was scared… and everything happened so fast. One minute, I was just trying to figure things out, and the next, the doctor was telling me I had to start living as a girl or risk losing Mom. I didn’t even know where to begin.”

Johnny pulled back, holding me at arm’s length so he could look me in the eyes. “You don’t have to be scared, Carl. Not with me. I’m your brother, remember? I’ve got your back, no matter what.”

Angela stepped forward, her voice gentle but firm. “And you’ve got us too, Carl. We’re all here for you.”

I managed a small smile, feeling a little more hopeful. “Thanks, Angy. That means a lot.”

Johnny ruffled my hair, his grin returning. “All right, enough with the sappy stuff. Let’s get inside and figure out a plan. And maybe get some food while we’re at it. I’m starving.”

Angela laughed, looping her arm through mine. “Sounds like a plan to me.”