Small Problem -7- Salon

Small Problem

Part 7

I got my phone. Wasn’t quite the one I wanted, but it has most of the features I thought I needed and I can actually make phone calls on it. Cathy assured me this is the more trendy phone that all the girls at school were getting. Heaven forbid going against the grain. The case is a pretty, metallic pink. Well, it’ll get me started. Hopefully I’ll be able to upgrade later when Cathy’s not around.

And then we went purse shopping. Oh. my. God. I had no idea there was so much to consider in buying a purse. I was blown away just by how many purses were available. And just this one store. We didn’t just get me one purse. Oh heavens no. I now possess four purses. At the urging of Cathy, for my main purse I got a pink patent leather bag with pockets for my phone, my keys, money and God knows what else. A white and a black purse for different outfits for dates and a large cloth bag that I could stuff the other three purses into. Cathy said it was a good start.

And on the way home, Mom did something she rarely does. We stopped to pick up some Chinese takeout. Last time I had chicken fried rice I was still a man. It’s bothering me that my memories of being a man are getting fuzzy. What bothers me even more is that in my childhood memories, I’m a girl. Those nanites really did a number on me. Mom was strangely quiet during the whole expedition.

As Cathy distributed the food around the kitchen table and got the soy sauce out of the fridge, Mom just stood by the table wearing a rather dour expression. She cleared her throat. “I hate to do this, but I have an announcement for you girls.”

I speared a piece of chicken on my fork and looked up. “An announcement? Can we finish eating first?” Her tone of voice indicated that this wasn’t going to be a fun announcement.

Mom shook her head. “No. This has been eating me ever since before we left the house.” I glowered at my rice. Well shit. We’re about to be hit with whatever was in the phone conversation that I had heard bits of. I hadn’t had a chance to discuss Mom’s conversation with Cathy before we left.

Mom frowned. “I’ll just be blunt. Why did you girls lie to me about your lunch? The fact you lied is worse than what you lied about.”

Cathy looked up confused. I said, “Mom, we told you were we went. We even had the cups to prove it.”

A thundercloud slowly grew above Mom’s head. “Oh, I know you were at Perky’s. A coworker saw you two there. That’s not the lie. The lie is who you said was there with you. You were there with that boy I’ve already told Amanda several times she’s not to see. And yet she defies me. I never expected this type of behavior from you. Honestly, I don’t know what you see in that boy. But it ends today. So for being with that boy and then lying about it. I’m grounding both of you for two weeks starting tonight.”

I stood up suddenly, knocking some of my rice onto the table. “Mom! That’s not fair! I have a date tomorrow!”

Cathy exclaimed, “And we have that cheerleader party Saturday!”

Mom shook her head. “Not anymore.”

“This is so unfair! I didn’t even lie to you!” I exclaimed.

Mom scowled at me. “You were still with that boy. I will not have you defy me!”

Cathy stood up and slapped her palm on the kitchen table. “Stop it Mom! You’re being terribly unfair to Amanda! I’m the one who lied. I lied to try to protect Amanda. I didn’t know you were spying on us.”

Mom stood up and shouted, “How dare you take that tone with me, young lady. So you think it’s okay to lie as long as you don’t get caught?”

I wished I could roll up into a tiny ball. Cathy shouted, “Mom. Will you please listen? Amanda wasn’t with Owen. She doesn’t even like him. He volunteered to give us a lift. That was all.”

I said quietly, “I think Owen is an annoying pest. I mean, he’s nice to me, but I’m not trying to get his attention.”

Mom looked coldly at Cathy. “Why did you lie to me?”

Cathy stood straighter. “I told you why. I was afraid if you knew it was Owen who had lunch with us, you’d unfairly blame Amanda. And you did.”

Mom looked sternly at me. “Amanda, are you honestly not interested in this boy?”

I was ready to explode. “Honestly, Mom. I have no interest in Owen. He likes me for some reason, but I keep telling him to go away.” I scowled at Mom. “Am I going to have to shoot him?”

Mom frowned. “I don’t think we have to go that far. Are you really not interested in that older boy?”

“No!” I exclaimed. Then I thought what does no mean in this context. I exclaimed, “Yes!” Mom gave me a confused expression. I said, “I am not interested in any way shape or form in Owen! Sheesh. I’m not even interested in boys!”

Looking shocked, Cathy said, “Not even Chad?”

“He’s different!”

Cathy laughed.

Looking sheepish, Mom said, “I guess I owe Amanda an apology. I’m sorry I doubted you, Amanda”

I smirked. “It was almost worth a gender change to hear an apology from you!”

Mom frowned. “You better watch it. I might change my mind.” Mom folded her arms. “And you’re still not allowed to see that boy.” She then left the kitchen.

I picked up an eggroll to try to salvage my dinner when Cathy came up to me with a grin and high-fived me. She exclaimed, “Alright! We’re a team!”

I shook my head at Cathy. “I think the real lesson here is to tell the truth from the beginning.”

Cathy shrugged. “Whatever.”

* * *

“Is anybody getting out?” asked Cathy.

“I’m not going in first,” I exclaimed from the back seat of Jonathan’s car.

Cathy laughed. “What do you think is going to happen?” We had been parked outside the beauty salon Mom uses for a couple of minutes.

“I’ve never been in a place like that before,” I said worriedly.

Cathy shook her head in amazement. “Jon. Just park over there and come in with us. You can just sit in the lobby to wait.”

Jonathan shook his head. “Nothin’ doin’. In five minutes, I’ve seen three men enter, but no man has come back out.”

Cathy laughed. “Dude, are you serious?” She touched his hair and grinned. “You could use a new do.”

Jonathan swatted her hand away and said, “Just call me when you’re ready for pickup.”

Cathy looked incredulous. “What do you think happens in there?”

“I don’t intend to find out. Just call.”

Cathy shook her head. “Come on Amanda. We’re going to be late.”

I climbed out of the back seat of Jonathan’s car. Cathy stuck her head in the passenger window. “I’ll call you in about two hours, okay? You sure you don’t want to come inside to wait?”

Jonathan shook his head, “Naw, I’m good. Just call.” With a chirp of tires, he sped away.

Cathy looked at me and laughed. “Boys are goofy.” She started walking towards the salon. I just stood there.

“Why do I need to go in there?” I asked seriously. “I’ve washed my hair recently.”

Cathy folded her arms and stared at me. “Seriously girl? You’ve got split ends and they’ll add more body to your hair. Now let’s go inside, you goofball.” She held the door open for me. “Age before beauty.” She giggled.

I frowned at her. “You’re older than me.”

Cathy said, “Not in real years.” She laughed. I sighed and entered before her.

We walked up to the counter where a woman who stood behind it smiled at us. “You two must be the Moore girls.” She grinned. “I swear. You two are the spitting imagine of our mother.”

Cathy just said thank you. But that thought has made think more than once about that. It’s impossible for us to share DNA but I look just like Mom when she was a teen.

The woman smiled at us. Looking at her computer screen, she said, “I think they’re ready for you now. Follow me.” We followed her back into the deep reaches to the inner sanctum of the female world. My imagination danced wildly with all the femininely diabolical horrors that would befall any man unlucky enough to find themselves trapped in these feminine chambers. Jonathan was right. I hadn’t seen one male since arriving at the interior. What more could be done to me as I’m already a woman?

“Amanda?”

“What?” I blinked a few times.

Cathy laughed. “Girl, where is your brain at? They’re going to wash your hair here.”

I smiled weakly. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

Cathy grinned. “Well, stop it. You know you’re not allowed.” She giggled.

I stood up a little straighter and mumbled, “Yeah, right.”

I was led to a chair where I had to tilt my head back far enough to where I thought my neck might break. A woman proceeded to wash my hair. She asked me a bunch of silly questions and seemed excited when I mentioned going on a date that evening. After that, while another woman fussed with my hair, someone else fussed with my finger nails. I had to admit that I enjoyed being fussed over. I was told they had a spa at the facility that sounded wonderful, but it wasn’t on my options today.

Cathy was already finished and waiting in the lobby when I came out. She stood up and grinned when she saw me. “There she is!” she exclaimed. ‘I love your hair. I really like that nail color.” She opened her purse and extracted her cell phone. “I’ll give Owen a call to come pick us up.”

Then she laughed. “Did I say Owen? Sorry, I meant Jonathan.”

Scowling at Cathy, I said “You’re not funny.”

To avoid another situation, Mom had prepared us sandwiches for lunch and put them in the fridge. Jonathan was on his own. He decided to hang around while we ate. He nibbled at the Chinese leftovers.

Cathy frowned at Jonathan as he chowed down on some General Tso’s chicken. She said, “You’re free to go. We’re just going to do make-up and other girlie things to get Amanda ready for her date.”

Jonathan popped another blob of chicken in to his mouth. “You sure? You might need me to run up to the store for something.”

Cathy shook her head. “I think we’re good. And Mom was saving that chicken for her. Babe, it’s not like I don’t want you around, but I have to focus on getting Amanda ready. We’re going to be talking about make-up and clothes. I think you’ll be bored.”

Jonathan looked disappointed “But you have a better TV.”

Looking stern, Cathy demanded, “Will you just go? Mom doesn’t like boys being over here when she’s not here.”

Eating one last piece of chicken, Jonathan said, “Okay, okay. I’ll go. Give me a call if you need anything.”

Cathy grinned and made a shooing motion. “We’ll be fine.”

Jonathan finally begrudgingly got up and left the house.

Cathy sighed. “It’d be impossible for you to try on different outfits with a boy around.”

“Why different outfits?” I asked.

“You want to make sure you picked the best one.”

I shrugged. “It’s just a movie. Possibly dinner. What’s the big deal?”

“Because it is a big deal!” exclaimed Cathy. “You want to look like you spent hours getting ready just for him. And after he sees you, you don’t want him to even think of another girl.”

“It’s just a date.”

Cathy frowned at me and declared, “No such thing. You want them all to be memorable. Come on. Let’s check out your closet.”

* * *

“Is this all you got?” demanded Cathy as she tossed one of my short skits on the reject pile for the second time.

I shrugged. “I haven’t had time t accumulate very many clothes. Why don’t we look through your clothes?”

Cathy frowned. “You’re too small. How the hell did you get to be smaller than me?”

I leaned hard backwards in my chair and folded my arms. “That’s out of my control! Take it up with the nanites!”

“I will!” shouted Cathy as she picked up my black miniskirt for the fourth time. “Don’t you have any other sexy skirts?”

I grabbed the skirt from her grasp. “This is a date, not a Whitesnake video!”

Cathy took a deep breath and said, “Okay, okay. Everybody calm down a minute.”

I frowned at Cathy. “It’s just the two of us.”

Ignoring me, Cathy took the skirt from my grasp and set it down in front of her. She picked up a tank top and held it against the skirt. “This skirt and tank go well together.” She picked up one of my high heel strappy sandals and held it in the air. “These heels will go with anything you have.” She then picked up a pair of earrings from my earring box. “I love these earrings.”

I waved my hand. “Mom said it was too early to take my studs out.”

Cathy waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, what does she know?” She looked at my scowl and said, “Okay. Those studs can stay in one more week. And then those suckers are coming out!”

She held up a necklace made from a fine chain. “I’ll let you borrow my necklace and these bracelets.” She looked over at me and grinned broadly. “Okay girl. We’ve nailed your outfit. Time to do your make-up. Come over here and sit still.”

As she opened the bottle of foundation, she said, “You really need to learn how to do your own make-up. Let’s get started.” She glanced at my clock. “Oh my God! Chad will be here in a little over an hour!”

Cathy went to work on my face like a woman obsessed. She worked quickly, but accurately. Somehow she managed to not poke me in the eye with the mascara brush. She’d occasionally brush my hair out of the way.

Just as she was finishing, Mom came into my room. “Hey girls. I’m home. I didn’t miss Chad did I?”

Cathy laughed. “Well, considering both your daughters are still here, I’d say no.” Cathy took a few steps back from me and asked, “What do you think?”

Mom grinned at me. “You’re quite the artiste, Cathy. Amanda you’re gorgeous.”

I smiled weakly at Mom. I felt ridiculous, to be honest. Wearing make-up and a short skirt and high heels. I felt silly.

Mom glanced over at the clock next to my bed. “Isn’t Chad supposed to be here by now?”

Cathy said, “I’m sure he’ll be here any second. Mom, go wait for him in the living room. I’ll hold Amanda down in her room to give you a chance to chat with him.” Mom nodded and left my bedroom and shut the door.

We didn’t have long to wait until the doorbell rang. Mom unnecessarily shouted, “I’ll get it!”

Cathy and I both held our ears against the door so we could listen in.

Mom opened the door and acted surprised. “Hello?”

In a shy voice, Chad said, “Um, hi Ms. Moore. Is ah… Is Amanda here?”

Mom giggled, “Oh! You must be Chad. I’m sure she’s almost ready. You know how girls take forever.”

Chad said, “Um, yes Ma’am. Oh, I brought these flowers for her. I didn’t know what to get. Do you think she’ll like them?”

Mom said, “She’ll just love them! Have a seat, Chad. I’ll check on her.” We heard Mom approach my room.

We opened the door slightly when Mom rapped her knuckles on the door. Grinning, she said, “Oh, honey, he’s a sweetie. Give me at least five minutes alone with him.”

Cathy looked at me and said, “Breathe, girl.”

This was insane. I’m going out on a date with a boy! It’s been eighteen years or so since I was last on a date. And that was with a girl. I tried to listen in to what Mom was asking Chad, but I couldn’t hear anything.

Finally we heard footsteps approaching the door. There was a knock and we heard Mom say, “Honey? Chad’s here.”

Cathy grinned at me. “It’s show time! Look. Don’t worry. You’re gorgeous! He’s going to just love you.”

Scared out of my mind, I opened my bedroom door and stepped out into the living room.

* * *

End of Part 7 of Small Problem