Dialogue Update: Chapter 3 (Pages 64-71, 73-79, 81-84, 86, & 88)
Added 2021-08-13 23:19:24 +0000 UTCHell-o AGAIN teehee 👹
Got another storyline/dialogue update for ya to feast your eyes on:
Recap: I've been reworking certain dialogue scenes/pages/parts of the story in preparation of the print version of BKI, Volume 1.
The next dialogue update/round of edits I worked on were from Chapter 3. This chapter actually wasn't too bad–I was able to get it all done in one night.
The changes I will be implementing here are as follows:
- General retouching/reworking of most dialogue & speech bubbles (wording, positioning, flow, etc.)
- Added 4th wall narration text on Page 79.
Lmk what you think! Have a wonderful day/evening! 💕
-J
© James Schleisman November 2019 All Rights Reserved.
Comments
Thanks Allan, I really appreciate your feedback! After re-reading Page 79's scene I decided it fit better without the 4th wall narration.
Jamie Schleisman
2021-08-15 14:57:13 +0000 UTCOh and Sunset Boulevard got an Oscar for screenwriting so take it how you want...
Allan Meyer
2021-08-15 02:33:19 +0000 UTCGods I remember how much I love these character building pages. Daryl has the perfect touch drawing Cal- to be fair his job is to be sexy- but also sweetly earnest. At the risk of dogpiling about the fourth wall / voiceover narration, it can imply a flashback or in media res situation. Well it worked in Sunset Boulevard, and this is your story so tell it how you want.
Allan Meyer
2021-08-15 02:10:40 +0000 UTC
