Games On My Switch

The Switch 2 is coming out soon, and I won't be getting one because I’m poor. But I might as well reminisce on some of the stuff I've loaded my original switch with over the years. It’s mostly old classics because all the modern Nintendo games I own are physical. I let my nephew play it and was briefly mortified that I don't have anything a 10 year old in 2025 will have ever heard of. He seemed to enjoy Outrun though, good kid. 

Outrun

This is one of the most immaculately designed and aesthetically perfect games ever conceived or created. The story is you’re a rad dude with a blonde babe driving really fast in a convertible, and that’s also the gameplay. All you do is race the clock to see how far you can get, which isn’t very far because beating this game is fucking impossible. 

It’s deceptively simple, in order to stay ahead of the clock you basically need to be flawlessly fast and methodical about your shifting, while artfully dodging other cars and navigating tight turns between buildings, billboards, and cactuses. If you hit anything at all you wipe out and fly out of your car in a crash animation that if it were real, would fucking obliterate your bones on the pavement. But in the game you just get up and hop back in the car. 

The colorful graphics and vibrant environments are peak oldschool visual beauty, and the soundtrack makes Mozart sound like SlowFart. I was already certain this was one of the best games ever made, and now i have anecdotal proof that even today’s youngsters can vibe with it.

Phantasy Star

I’ve wanted to play these games forever but i’m determined to play them in order, which means it could take me the next 50 years to get through them all because this first game alone is harder than fuck.

It’s an old-timey rpg with a very unique sci-fi setting. The basic jrpg gameplay is pretty much timeless but the constant switching between 3rd and first person makes everything feel slow and unwieldy. You switch to first person for everything. Entering a battle, entering a dungeon, entering a store, talking to an npc. I like this game but it’s fucking annoying. 

It’s also vague and doesn’t tell you where to go, but I actually like that about old games. You have to pay attention and get invested in the world by going around and actually talking to people to know where to go next. The only problem is I hate talking to people causes it switches to first person every time and takes forever. 

Also, the monsters are randomly strong and keep killing the shit out of me. In conclusion this game rules but i suck at it.

Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath

All the oddworld games are creative masterpieces but most of them are hard to go back to because I no longer have the patience for all the precise and meticulous 2d escaping. This one is a pretty simple 3rd person shooter which makes it a lot easier to jump back into. 

This game has a cool little wild west gimmick for the first half but the really cool stuff happens about halfway through the game. Having played it 20 years ago and knowing the big twist, it actually feels like a slog having to get through the Western stuff before the cool shit happens. It feels tame and lame by comparison. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should play it, cause I ain't gonna spoil how gnarly it gets. This game doesn’t reveal all it’s cards right away. I think I’m making a poker reference because cowboys play poker or something, but I don't understand poker at all so nevermind. I’m trying to tell you this game is more than meets the fuckin eye.