Twisted Metal Black Part 2 - Dollface fuckin dies or somethin.
Added 2024-09-13 06:23:23 +0000 UTCI don’t know if Dollface is gonna get her wish this time, she’s too busy getting herself killed while trying and failing to shoot missiles at a secret box in the corner of the map to unlock that bloody-toed jackoff, Axel. Or Warthog. Or whoever the hell is in there, I don't even remember.
Once upon a time, I beat this bastard game with every single damn character. But I was younger then. I had a patience and focus for games then that years of hard living and harder entertaining have robbed me of forever.
This game is still awesome though. Probably one of the coolest and most hardcore games ever to bless this cursed planet. But my curse is that my blessings become curses, because the curse of capitalism means I have to monetize them by spewing out my not-easily replenished inner light, in the form of wild and wacky commentary.
I feel like I’m in a madhouse. Any day now Calypso should be coming by to offer me a spot in the next Twisted Metal Tournament. I can only hope and pray it’s one of the good ones, and not crappy like Twisted Metal 3. Then I can win and claim my wish. I’ll make a wish so greedy, so vengeful, so horny, even Calypso will be freaked out.
But he has to grant it, them’s the rules. I’ll have it all, and he’ll be the one who ends up in the nuthouse.
