endlessjess

Atreus sucks - God of War Ragnarok part 5

Added 2023-02-27 06:13:48 +0000 UTC

And I thought rowing was bad. Let me tell ya something, rowing is a party compared to Atreus slowly walking through a town, slowly climbing a wall, slowly riding an elevator, slowly riding a big moo cow through another town, slowly walking around viking hogwarts and slowly putting me in a coma.

I've had more fun waiting to get off an airplane, literally, just this morning. My airplane coke was 4 dollars by the way, and when I got off the first ham sanwich I grabbed was 20 dollars. Still a more enjoyable experience than the CW simulator this game becomes every time fuccboi takes the wheel.

The only cool part of this is Heimdall, the most based character in the game. His role in the story is to be smug and hateable, but they couldn't even get that right cause I love this guy. I desperately wish this cool but rude wise guy could just curb stomp the boy and take over as the new Kratos Jr.

Odin is based as well. All the villains in this game are a thousand tines more likable and interesting than the protagonists. Half this game's dialogue is Kratos grumbling that violence is bad or something and Brok yelling about his blue hairy nuts. Fuck em. I want Odin to be my grandpa.