A little bit of The Good Life

As a personal hero of mine, the guy who says "time to relax" on that Offspring album once famously said, it's time to relax. Kick off your shoes, take it easy, and enjoy The Good Life. Not your actual life, we all know that isn't good or else you wouldn't be here, you'd be off enjoying some juicy and delicious steak in a better part of the simulation. I'm talking about the simulation within the simulation known as The Good Life, which is a video game on X-Box. X-Box is what we have here instead of friends, fulfillment, or connection with nature. 

Don't you long for some better? I know i do. Something slow, tranquil, quaint. Like a little town in the countryside full of cats or something. Or maybe that sounds boring, i don't know. I've lost interest in this bit. 

All that matters is that i got duped into paying for another goddamn streaming service because i'm a slave. This time it was the X-Box Game Pass, and this little slice of life mystery adventure game is one of the first things that caught my eye on it. I don't know where it came from or why no one is talking about it but it's great. Fucking great, in fact. 

Instead everyone's talking about Stray, which i haven't played yet. But guess what, this game also lets you run around as an adorable realistic kitty, and i'm pretty sure it came first, so let's get some credit where it's due, people. You better pray i don't play Stray and find it lesser or gay, or there just may be Hell to pay, I say. 

As far as I can tell the key difference between the two titles is that Stray takes place in a (long exaggerated yawn) cyberpunk dystopia, and The Good Life doesn't, which in addition to sounding self-evident, makes it automatically the superior game by simple virtue of escapism. We all get enough cyberpunk dystopia every moment of our lives in the waking nightmare we actually inhabit. 

Case in point, halfway through typing this Patreon decided to wipe my screen entirely and make me complete a stupid fucking "are you a robot" thing, because apparently that's now a thing Patreon does. For a brief moment this made it look like everything i just typed was lost. Miraculously my wonderful words were all still here when the page refreshed, but so is my fury and my profound hate so now i'm too pissed off to type anymore. What the fuck.