endlessjess

La(m)e

Added 2022-04-30 14:07:28 +0000 UTC

This game is called Lake, but you see, if you replace the K with an M, you'll have a very clear picture of my feelings toward it. This is one for the special category i like to call "Failed Glows". Games so terrible they sap me of all my life-force like a fun-vampire and force a tactical retreat within minutes. Games i don't even rage quit so much as desperately limp or crawl away from like the victim of a violent crime.

Just look at that thumbnail. Read the caption. "Hi Steve. Yes, we made the deadline." That says it all. Look at her face, she's smiling because meeting a deadline for work is the most exciting thing this piss puddle of a game has to offer.

That's what it should have been called, by the way. Not "Lake". Piss Puddle. Or Mudbutt. or Crappy Stain, or Bowel Spill, or Toilet Bowl. You know, something that better communicates what you're in for.

I'd rather make a lake of blood in my pants than play anymore of this fetid, runny faucet drip of fecal slime. Lake? More like Take... it away, to a garbage can. I've received Anthrax in the mail that was more enjoyable than this waterlogged butt-log. This festering floater. This anal-waste.