Diaper-Brained Console Baby Bamboozled By Balders Gate

Sorry if this is too many lets plays back to back for your liking, the goddamn beer quest upload is taking too long.

Here is a game i've always wanted to play... and immediately suck at. For those rightfully offended and horrified at my utter refusal to learn the mechanics of anything more complex than Pokemon Puzzle League, trust me when i say you'll understand when you get to be my age. I'm old, and set in my ways. I didn't have a chance to learn this game when i was a child with time on my hands for "fun", therefore i am mentally incapable of doing so now and forevermore. Younger viewers will just have to respect their elders on this one, because rest assured it will happen to you. 

My "patience" dried up entirely right around the time my desire to "party" flew out the window, which i think might have been around the age of 27. The result is that it turns out i waited too long to finally play this classic game, which i'm positive is good and have always wanted to play. I now find that lifelong curiosity immediately and completely satisfied after a mere 5 minutes of not perfectly intuiting every aspect of the controls and play mechanics. 

Do you kids understand that i was born in the fucking 80s? That's 5 decades ago. I am literally in my 50s, I think. We didn't have math back then. But my point is in my day the time it took to learn a game was the time it took to point a plastic gun at the screen and shoot the ducks. 

I thought controllers got too complicated when they added a second joystick, let alone touchpads, motion control, and usb ports. To this day when i look at a computer keyboard and remember that some freakazoids actually play video games with these things, i have a small stroke.  I am a simple, ancient man. Balder's Gate is a classic and i know it surely must be good, but it's too damn late for me. 

The result is a video that mostly consists of me pointlessly creating a character who will never be used or seen again. Off to the Character Graveyard he goes with all the others. But... you never know. The graveyard does have a necromancy problem.