Buff Movie Buffs watch Idle Hands

You may have noticed I didn't post anything here all throughout November. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was so busy having a grown up life that i forgot to do my baby-shit internet job. The upside to that is you didn't have to give me any money, the downside of course being that I didn't make any money. 

It's fine, i'll pay the rent by synthesizing and selling a Covid vaccine from the mutant anti-bodies that my invincible immune system cooked up from living in a sewer for 10 years.

Anyway, i can scarcely afford another blissful month of pretending to be someone normal, so i guess i ought to get back to my "career" and do my "job", the most difficult part of which is always the mere act of logging onto the internet and feeling my soul die as i'm greeted by the usual 50,000 DMs from persons of varying toxicity and general uselessness, who all routinely feel the need to talk to me for some asinine fucking reason or another. Humbug to that.

Whenever something like this happens, when you don't hear from me until the end of the month, or even the end of the following month, or like... ever again for the rest of forever, I want you to know it's not because i'm just farting around doing nothing. 

I'm always making content, usually for other, smaller channels. I collab a lot these days with friends because it's something i've missed doing, and i really don't feel the need to tell everyone all the time because i don't thrive on constant attention the way others do. I just like creating, and it's a lot more fun and fancy-free when i don't have to worry about the myriad ways it'll be misinterpreted, complained about, and twisted against me by the huge toxic audience of obsessive weirdos that inevitably hooks it's barbs into every artist, creator, and entertainer forever from the second one achieves even the smallest level of notoriety in this idiotic world. 

When it comes to my own content, i tend to stockpile my creations for future Patreon posts, which i usually get around to writing the last week of the month. The reason i often put off posting anything until the very last minute is because as i said, i detest being online and prefer to live like it's the 1970s. Considering where the economy's gone since then i'd say i'm not alone. Hoo-ah. That's a grown up joke. I think. 

So there i was, psyching myself up to log on and write my posts on the 31st of November... only to find out there is no November 31st. November, it turns out, only has 30 days. I registered this in abject horror as the clock turned from 11:59 pm, November 30th to 12:00 am, December 1st. In the comedy writing business we have a word for this, and the word is (annoyed grunt). 

As dangerously as i like to live, this is the first time i've actually missed a patreon deadline in... ever. Luckily i still had my Trump bux, or i'd be writing this from an abandoned subway. No, not the awful sandwich place, i mean an actual subway like in the American movie classic, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of The Ooze. Because that's where you go to live when you forget to make any money. 

But as i said, just because i didn't post anything in November, doesn't mean i didn't do anything. I've been popping in to collab with old friends all over the internet, and keeping all kings of busy with other projects, because Idle hands are the Devils Patreon. Yeah, how's that for a segue? 

Recently i've done a few movie commentary streams with my Buff Movie Brother, The Cine-Masochist for his twitch channel. It's been a real blast from the past in more ways than one. Because, you know.. we watch old movies... and we've been friends for a really long time. Umm. Here's Idle Hands. We watched Idle hands.

This is one of the things i would have posted in November if i hadn't pulled one of my famous blunders. But there's a silver lining to this mishap, as the extra month gave me time to cut out the unlistenable moronic bits, of which there were many, and slap together a 25 minute highlight reel of just the funny parts, which is far easier to watch and also won't spoil every second of the entire movie. That's good because Idle Hands is great and you should totally watch it.

As you might expect this video was immediately blocked, but only in Syria, Iran, North Korea, and Cuba. So if you live there, i apologize on behalf of this terrible platform i'm forced to use. Everyone else, we're gonna take you back to the past, to watch a scary hand that kicks ass.