Midnight Pals: Bra Sales

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i jussst found out that there exissstsss a transss sssalesss assssociate in a department ssstore
Rowling: apparently ssselling brasss
Rowling: i'm real mad about thisss

Rowling: i heard that thisss transss bra ssaless associate actually asssked a cusstomer if she needed help
Helen Joyce: its getting real bad when the trans think they can just talk to normal people as, like, part of their job description
Joyce: what is the world coming to

Rowling: and did you know that the cussstomer wasss a teenage girl? think about that
Allison Bailey: terrible!
Allison Bailey: those teenage breasts shouldn't be getting fitted for bras
Bailey: they should be receiving tender lesbian caresses

Bailey: it just makes me so sad
Bailey: to think of all the teenage breasts that are not getting fondled by lesbians right now
Bailey: it's a real crime
Bailey: i'm thinking of suing someone about it, see if i don't

Rowling: i am conssidering legal action, of courssse
Joyce: you are?
Rowling: i know, i know, people keep sssaying wah wah wah how do you have legal sstanding, how doesss affect you wah wah wah
Rowling: perhapss thiss giant bag of money will give you the anssswersss you need

Rowling: allisssson i need your needle sharp legal mind on thisss casse right now
Helen Joyce:
Kathleen Stock:
Jesse Singal:
Rowling: a legal mind like a sssteel trap
Rowling: nothing getssss passst allisson bailey
Joyce:
Stock:
Singal:

Rowling: did you finish sssuing that vet who sssaid your dog wasss fat?
Bailey: uhhhh
Bailey: yes!
Rowling: how did that go?
Bailey: uhhh i uhhh
Bailey: i won
Bailey: yeah yeah that's the ticket
Bailey: i won!
Bailey: those TRA thugs will think twice before calling a dog fat again let me tell you

Bailey: i totally won that lawsuit against my vet and the judge said that i was totally right and also very smart and they gave me a big medal for standing up for the rights of lesbian breast touching
Bailey: i mean fat dogs
Bailey: yessireee
Bailey: that all totally happened

Rowling: that all checkss out
Rowling: here, have another big bag of harry potter licensssing money
Stock: are you sure you don't want to double check any of this first?
Rowling: no no i have complete confidence in allissson'sss legal acumen
Rowling: i'm ssure itss fine

Stock: hey can i have a big bag of harry potter licensing money too? i want to write an academic paper about what the trans are doing to the soil
Rowling: ssoundsss good, here you go
Joyce: i want to write an article about how i'm being silenced
Rowling: nice. here's a bag of money for you too

Graham Linehan: dark lord i would be ever so gratified if i could
Rowling: fuck off
Linehan: y-you didn't even hear my proposal!
Rowling: get this guy out of here
Linehan: [being dragged away by 3 surly terfs] i was always loyal dark lord!! always loyal!!!
Rowling: god that'sss ssso embarrasssing