Midnight Pals: Ritual

Adam Nevill: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the ritual
King: oh man we love that movie!
Nevill: yeah well the novel's a little different
King: as long as it's still got that cool creature design!
Poe: yeah we love that creature!
Nevill:

King: the creature in the ritual was SO cool
King: i mean, what even is that thing??
Koontz: it had arms on its face!
King: yeah! arms on its face!
King: crazy!
Poe: it was very cool
King: it was SO cool

Nevill: yeah well the creature in my story isn't quite the same
King: no?
Nevill: no
Nevill:
Nevill: MY CREATURE IS EVEN COOLER!
King: whoa!
Koontz: wowww!
Barker: you're making a bold statement there adam
Nevill: i stand behind it!
Nevill: it's REALLY cool!
Nevill: it's like a goat with hands cool!

Nevill: so these four guys go hiking in the swedish woods
Nevill: and here's the thing
Nevill: two of them are fat
Nevill: with huge fat asses
Nevill: just absolute gigantic dumptrucks
Nevill: huge dumperhumpers
Nevill: enormous guhunkerbunkerlunkers
King: this is terrifying!

Nevill: great big bonkerhonkersonkerflonkers
Nevill: massive gahonagahoogaboogajoogafoos
Nevill: like a woman would have
King: oh no!
King: this is the most terrifying story I've ever heard
Poe: yeah c'mon adam don't talk like that in front of steve
Poe: you know how he is

Nevill: their asses are so huge
Nevill: let me tell you
Nevill: when they hang around the swedish old growth forest
Nevill: they really hang around the swedish old growth forest

Nevill: now they're deep in the woods
Nevill: forget anything the film told you about swedish hillbillies
Nevill: they get got by a bunch of stupid dipshit metalheads
Barker: what, out in the swedish oldgrowth woods?
Nevill: yeah out in the swedish oldgrowth woods

Nevill: the metalheads want to be the first metal band to resurrect an eldritch norse god
Todd Keisling: that's a good idea actually
Keisling: i would hella respect a metal band that resurrected an eldritch norse god
Keisling: that would be bad ass
Craig DiLouie: [headbanging] yeah yeah YEAH! ROCK!