Midnight Pals: The Truth

Kit Power: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the song that makes you tell the truth
Power: so there's this song
Power: if you hear it, you have to always tell the truth
Power: OR DIE

Power: after hearing this song, you always have to tell the truth
Power: if you lie, it'll make your head explode
Power: the problem is
Power: it's really hard to run a society without lying
Power: try it sometime, i'm sure you'll agree

Lovecraft: i don't understand
Lovecraft: why is this bad?
Barker: how do you feel about august, howard?
Lovecraft:
Barker: tell the truth
August Derleth: we're best buds right howard?
Derleth: best best buds
Lovecraft: [sweats]

Power: so now this guy has to stop the spread of the song
Power: before people stop being able to lie
Power: and start being real

Barker: how's the song go?
Power:
Power: well i'm not going to sing it now
Barker: c'mon
Barker: c'mon do it
Power: no
Barker: do it you pussy
Poe: clive stop it
Poe: we don't want to hear the song that makes you always tell the truth

Power: ok ok ok
Power: well it's kind of like this
Power: one and one make two
Power: two and one make three
Power: its destiny
King: wait a second
Power: i should confess that this isn't the actual song that makes you always tell the truth

Kit Power: after hearing the song, this guy can't lie
Power: he's forced to admit that he's not too tired to have sex with his girlfriend
Power: when really he just wanted to jack off
Chris DiLeo: oh shit
DiLeo: that's a real problem

Power: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, what if you woke up one day and everyone just had a million dollars
King: that sounds great!
King: this time, it's definitely only going to have good effects
King: I don't see any possible way that could go wrong
Power: you would think so

Power: in fact, if everyone had a million dollars, it might just cause
Power: some problems
King: how so?
Power: well, have you ever heard of a little thing called
Power: economics?

Power: what if you just woke up with a big pile of money
George Romero: it's called UBI
Barker: oh god here we go
Barker: this lecture again
Romero: it works!
Romero: so they tried it in Norway and studies found