Midnight Pals: How'd he do that

Lovecraft: hey everyone i've got exciting news!
Lovecraft: i'm gonna be collaborating on a story with harry houdini!
King: harry houdini the famous magician and escape artist?
Lovecraft: yes!
Lovecraft: yes that harry houdini!

Lovecraft: and i know what you're all thinking
Lovecraft: i was worried about it at first too
Lovecraft: but it turns out that harry houdini is just a stage name
Lovecraft: he isn't even really italian at all!

Barker: oh yeah? what's his real name then?
Lovecraft: oh i didn't think to ask
Lovecraft: what is your real name harry?
Houdini: Erik Weisz
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: [sweats]

Lovecraft: i'm going to write a story about this one time that harry escaped from a pyramid full of mummies!
Lovecraft: and i'm gonna call it
Lovecraft: escape to the house of mummies
Lovecraft: part 1!

William Hope Hodgson: [chugging barrel of vitamin supplements] boo! hiss! boo!
Houdini: you got a problem, pal?
Hodgson: [injecting nootropics] that's right, pipsqueak!
Hodgson: [guzzling protein powder] why you're so puny i'd hit you but you might dry up and blow away!

Hodgson: if you're so hot, then why don't you face me in a physical challenge?
Hodgson: i've got my own set of manacles right here
Hodgson: i bet you can't escape MY bonds, you four stone apology!

Houdini: i accept!
Hodgson: ok also if you lose, you have to donate money to my gym
Hodgson: the william hope hodgson's Atomic-Powered Power Blaster's Juicin' Joint and Alpha Wolf Lion's Den for Top Dogs (slogan: Juice yourself thin!)

Hodgson: here, put on these handcuffs
Houdini: hey, wait a minute Houdini: these aren't regulation handcuffs
Hodgson: "wah wah wah these aren't regulation handcuffs" what are you, some kind of homosexual beta male girly man pussy baby cuck?

Poe: william! you can't talk that way to harry houdini!
Poe: i'm sorry harry he gets this way sometimes
Poe: when he's had a few too many protein shakes
Hodgson: [noises of manly rage] UUUUURGHHGGGHGHHH!!!

[several hours later]
Houdini: hey can we take a break
Hodgson: so you give up?
Houdini: no i mean i'm calling a time-out
Hodgson: you can't do that!
Hodgson: you have to forfeit!
Poe: come on william he's been at it for hours
King: yeah c'mon man be reasonable
Hodgson: NO!! THOSE ARE THE RULES!!

Houdini: fine! i'll just continue
[hours pass]
Houdini: ta da! and i'm free!
Houdini: harry houdini does it again!
Lovecraft: wow!
Lovecraft: how DOES he do that?
Lovecraft: they should call you harry how'd he do that-
Houdini: yes we've already been over that, howard

Hodgson: fake! how'd he even do that when he's so short, huh?
Poe: you know what, william, maybe you should just slip out the back
Poe: quietly
Poe: for your own safety
Poe: the crowd's kinda getting agitated
Hodgson: oh, you all think you can take me?
Hodgson: I will beat each and every one of you!