Midnight Pals: Willow Creek

Bobcat Goldthwait: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of Willow Creek
Stephen King: great! I could do with a laugh!
Goldthwait: it's not funny
King: ha ha! I'm laughing already!
Goldthwait: it's not a comedy!!

Goldthwait: this isn't a comedy, it's a harrowing descent into danger and madness!
King: do the voice
Goldthwait:
King: c'mon, bobcat, do the voice!
Goldthwait:
Goldthwait: this is below my dignity

Goldthwait: this story is about two campers being menaced by a big foot
King: do the voice, man!
Goldthwait:
Barker: yeah c'mon man do the voice
Poe: clive don't you start
Barker: what? i'm literally just saying the same thing as steve
Poe: you know what you're doing clive

Goldthwait: no! stop asking for the voice!
Goldthwait: i am not some capering buffoon to dance for your amusement!
Goldthwait: i am a serious auteur with important things to say!!
Goldthwait: now shut up and let me tell my story about an evil big foot!!

King: jeez bobcat's not as funny as a i expected
King: he's even less funny than jordan peele
King: talk about a disappointment!
Poe: or nick cregger
King: for real!!!
King: why are these guys all so serious all of a sudden?

Goldthwait: so this couple goes into the woods at willow creek to look for big foot
Goldthwait: and as we all know the defining characteristic of big foot is
Brian Keene: his stink
Goldthwait: no you're thinking of the skunk ape
Goldthwait: but good guess!

Keene: actually the big foot does stink
Keene: i like to think i know a little something about the big foot
Keene: having done extensive research into the field of big foot studies to write about cowboys vs big foots, i think i can safely say that the big foot does stink

Keene: the big foot does stink
Koontz: because of his feet?
Keene: because of
Keene:
Keene: while i haven't done a deep dive into the particulars, that does sound like a very valid theory dean

Barker: why are you all calling it "the big foot?"
Barker: its just big foot
Barker: it's not the batman
Keene: you know, i've been compared to the batman
Goldthwait: i was telling a story
Barker: no shut up i want to hear about this batman thing

Keene: think about it
Keene: batman has a computer, i have a computer
Keene: batman is the world's greatest detective, i'm...
Keene:
Keene: well, i like to think i'm pretty good
Keene: i think i would rank, that's all i'm saying

Barker: ok you have a computer, but is it a BAT computer?
Keene: of course its not a bat computer
Keene: the bat computer is defined as such because it is owned by batman, ergo there can only be one bat computer
Koontz: what if you put a bat sticker on your computer?
Keene: cute, dean
Keene: but no

Barker: so that's how you're like batman?
Keene: well i
Keene: i didn't say I thought I was like batman
Keene: i was just saying
Keene: the comparison has been made
Barker: by who?
Keene: oh you know
Keene: wags
Keene: pundits

Barker: i'm not seeing this batman thing
Goldthwait: CAN I FINISH MY BIGFOOT STORY?!?!?
King: he did it! he did the voice!
King: oh man!
King: and it's just as funny as ever! XD