Midnight Pals: Corn

Tom Tryon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of harvest home
Tryon: gentlemen, behold!
Tryon: CORN!
King: oh i don't know about this
King: i already wrote a corn based folk horror story
Tryon: this time
Tryon: will be different!

Tryon: are you guys ready for the dark secret of harvest home?
Koontz: oh wow, sounds spooky!
Tryon: oh, it's extremely spooky!
Tryon: believe me
Tryon: you will be spooked
Tryon: but first
Tryon: CORN!

Tryon: my story is about a strange secluded community where sinister rites still happen
Clive Barker: oh wow never heard that one before
Shirley Jackson: [mumbles]
Mary Shelley: what's that, Shirley?
Jackson: [mumbles]
Mary Shelley: Shirley also says 'oh wow never heard that one before'

Tryon: ok look
Tryon: i know what you're all thinking
Tryon: 'oh another folk horror story, how boring!'
Tryon: well, i'll have you know
Tryon: my folk horror story comes with a corny little twist

King:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Poe:
Koontz:
King: what's the twist?
Tryon: the twist is it's about corn

Tryon: but seriously guys I've got a total original idea for a folk horror narrative
King: let's hear it
Tryon: ok
Tryon: so get this
Tryon: it's about a harvest festival

Tryon: everyone's always wondering
Tryon: what is the dark secret of harvest home?
King: what is the dark secret of harvest home?
Tryon: well, to find that out
Tryon: we're gonna have to go through an entire wheel of the year's worth of exposition!

Tryon: first there's planting day
Koontz: oh boy! and then there's harvest home?
Tryon: haha ha no dean my young friend
Tryon: then there's plowing day
Tryon: oh boy! and then there's harvest home?
Tryon: no

Tryon: and after plowing day, there's Cornlemas
Koontz: oh boy! and then there's harvest home?
Tryon: haha no dean of course not!
Tryon: then there's midsummer corn revel

Koontz: oh boy! and then there's harvest home?
Tryon: of course not!
Tryon: then there's the crowning of the corn king
Koontz: oh boy! and then there's harvest home?

Tryon: no then there's husking bee
Koontz: and THEN there's harvest home?
Tryon: no, then there's the vernal corn equinox
Koontz:
Tryon: and then the fall corn equinox
Koontz:
Koontz: [crying] when are we gonna get to harvest home?!?

Tryon: so all year, the people of this secluded agricultural community have been acting really cagey about their pagan corn rites
Tryon: hinting to the one outsider that they revere a mysterious figure called "mother"
Clive Barker: is it mother earth
Tryon: i
Tryon:
Tryon: you know what i don't know why i bother
King: oh look what you did clive, you've upset him

Tryon: anyway get ready for the secret reveal
Tryon: the twist is that the corn cult is matriarchal
King: whaaat?
Tryon: i know, right?
Tryon: kinda just comes right out of nowhere doesn't it?

Angela Carter: hey that seems okay by me
Carter: as a strong independent woman who is also intelligent, i think more corn cults should be matriarchal
Carter: you should take notes steve
King: hey i'm not on trial here!