Midnight Pals: The Monkey

Stephen King: guys, big news!
King: my story the monkey is being adapted for the big screen!
King: by james wan and Osgood Perkins!
King: they're really in right now!
Barker: yeah you have fun with that

King: this is gonna be really exciting!
King: especially for edgar, since he's scared of monkeys
Poe: i'm not scared of monkeys
King: really? cuz you wrote that one story about the killer monkey
Poe: i write stories about a lot of things steve
Poe: why are you all fixated on that one?

King: well, edgar, you were just so evocative that i guess we all just thought you were really scared of monkeys
Poe: first of all, it was an ape
Barker: oh yeah edgar wouldn't put a monkey in his story
Barker: cuz he's scared of them
Poe: NO, I'M NOT

Poe: clive are you spreading this rumor?
Barker: he's real scared of them
Poe: i am not scared of monkeys!

Koontz: it's okay edgar, i know how you feel
Koontz: monkeys are pretty scary!
Poe: well thank you dean
Poe: see? dean gets it
Barker: so you ARE scared of monkeys
Poe: I AM NOT SCARED OF MONKEYS

King: so guys my story is about a possessed toy monkey
Osgood Perkins: right right
Perkins: so for this movie
Perkins: i'm definitely thinking a real lugubrious art house tone
Perkins: make it real slow and ponderous
King:

Perkins: we're gonna make it just incredibly molasses slow
King: awesome!
King: um just to remind you it is a story about a possessed toy monkey
Perkins: yeah i know
King: ok ok just wanted to make sure

James Wan: i have a question about the toy monkey in the story
King: yes?
Wan: can i see the actual monkey?
King: sorry?
Wan: can i see the toy monkey?

King: um... no?
Wan: oh my god it's so evil that you can't even let anyone see it!
Wan: this toy must be possessed by the very devil himself!
King: no i mean you can't see it because i made it up
Wan: haha good one

Wan: you don't just "make up" a story about a possessed toy!
Wan: you tear it straight from the headlines!

Wan: you made it up?
Wan: then why should i make a movie about this fake monkey?
Wan: when i could make a movie about any of the 8000 knick knacks in the Warrens' basement?
Wan: all of which are real and exist, by the way