Midnight Pals: Once Upon a Time in Delain

Stephen King: wow piers anthony you know my daughter is a big fan of your work
Piers Anthony: oh yeah girls love my books
Anthony: probably all the mentions of panties
Anthony: you know, they find that relatable
Anthony: cuz they wear them
King: yeah sure that makes sense

Stephen King: so I thought I would write some fantasy
Piers Anthony: you sure about that, steve? it's not that easy
King: oh c'mon how hard could it be
King: i mean it couldn't take that long
King: after all
King: time is PUNNY
Anthony:
Anthony: i take it back, you're a natural

King: ok so here's my fantasy story
King: so imagine, this evil magician has the crown prince locked in a really really really tall tower
JRR Tolkien: oh no!
GRR Martin: how does he get out?
King: oh that's the exciting part!
King: he spends 20 years sewing a rope out of napkins

King: luckily, this kingdom has an infinite supply of cloth napkins
King: because a previous queen had a napkin-sewing make-work program
King: so there's this HUGE fucking warehouse of single use cloth napkins
GRR Martin: wow you thought of everything

King: you guys don't seem so thrilled about my 20 year rope making plan?
Martin: it's kind of slow
CS Lewis: yeah kind of really slow
JRR Tolkien: i don't know what you two are talking about
Tolkien: i love this kind of fast paced, seat-of-your-pants action!

King: but hold on
King: i haven't even told you the best part
King: how does he make napkins into rope while he's in jail??
Tolkien: how does he
King: he has a dollhouse with a tiny working loom
Tolkien:
Brian Jacques: [squeaking] i use a tiny working dollhouse loom for a loom!

Stephen King: jeez piers i guess i just don't have the knack for fantasy
Piers Anthony: don't beat yourself up
King: how do YOU do it?
Anthony: i'll let you in on my secret, steve
Anthony: i have an infinite number of 12 year olds at an infinite number of word processors

Anthony: [opens door, revealing an infinite number of 12 year olds at an infinite number of word processors]
Anthony: soon they'll have written the greatest xanth novel known to man!
Anthony: [reading paper] "the color of her... blanties?!"
Anthony: [furious] stupid 12 year old!!

Anthony: take it from me, steve
Anthony: farming out the actual writing to random 12 year olds really leaves you time for the important stuff in life
Anthony: [huffs pair of panties]
King: and you don't find the writing suffers?
Anthony: [huffs panties again]