Midnight Pals: Advice from a Dog

Dean Koontz: hey guys i got a story for you!
Poe: oh wow, good job dean!
Poe: i'm sure we're all excited to hear a new scary story from you
Koontz: oh this one's not scary
Poe:
Poe: oh?
Koontz: it's about dogs

Koontz: actually i didn't write this
Koontz: it's by trixie!
Poe: your dog?
Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] yes! trixie wrote it!
Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] she wrote it all by herself!

Koontz: it's about advice from a dog
Koontz: i think you can learn everything you need to know from a dog
Koontz: i think dogs are the wisest people i know!

Koontz: ask trixie what she thinks about cats
Poe:
Poe: what does trixie think about cats
Koontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogs
Poe:
Koontz: eh?
Poe:
Koontz: eh?

Koontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogs
Lovecraft: [sweats] i'm gonna kill you!!!
Lovecraft: h-how dare you
Lovecraft: how dare you mallign cats like that!
King: whoa whoa whoa calm down there howard!
King: edgar help me out here
Poe: no no howard's right here

Koontz: [crying] steve i didn't mean it
King: i'm sorry dean, you really shouldn't have pissed off these cat lovers
Koontz: [crying] i-i didn't mean it
King: i know dean, it's ok
Koontz: [crying] t-trixie didn't really say that
King: i know dean
Koontz: [crying] i just made it up
Koontz: [crying] i-i wanted to seem cool

King: its ok dean
King: you just can't say that sort of thing around cat people
King: you know how they are
King: they just don't understand things the way us dog people do
Koontz: [sniffling] r-right

Koontz: [sniffling] i-its just that i thinks dogs are the best
Poppy Z Brite: better than ferrets?
Koontz: i-i-i
King: don't answer that, dean
Koontz: i think
King: DO NOT answer that, dean